Page 14 of Already Home

“It’s true,” Jolene chimed in. “I’m sure the divorce wasdifficult, but you got half of everything, right? So you’re set.”

Half of nothing was still nothing, Jenna thought, even as shesmiled and nodded. There had been a few thousand in savings. The only reasonshe’d had the money to open the store was because the City of Los Angeles hadneeded to expand a road. They’d bought up four houses, including the tiny placeshe and Aaron had owned. A neighbor had hired a slick lawyer who had gotten themall a tidy sum above market value.

Caitlin leaned toward her. “How was it?” she asked in a hushedtone. “The divorce. Was it awful?”

The table went silent. All three women stared at her intently,as if she’d done something extraordinary. Or terrifying.

“It wasn’t fun,” she admitted. “But we’d grown apart.” Whichwas better than saying being with her husband had sucked the life out of her.She’d been left with little more than a few skills she didn’t trust and agut-wrenching fear that she was mediocre.

“Was there another woman?” Jolene asked. “Was she younger andprettier?”

“I, ah—”

“It wasn’t another man, was it?” Kimberly asked. “I heard thathappens a lot in California. That would be the worst.”

“Not worse than a woman,” Caitlin told her. “At least with aman you never had a chance. With a woman, you have the same parts.”

“Being left for any reason means you’re still alone,” Jolenesaid, tucking a platinum blond curl behind one ear. “Do you think it’s becauseyou didn’t have children? A child binds a man to you. At least that’s what Itell myself.”

“A child would make things worse,” Caitlin said. “Then she’dforever be tied to her ex.”

Kimberly sighed. “He left her and now she’s alone. To hell withhim.” She toasted Jenna with her coffee.

Jenna felt like the ball in a tennis game, being slapped backand forth. She grabbed her coffee, sucked in a breath and prepared to lie herway to sanity.

“I left him,” she said quickly, before her blush could catch upwith her. “He was holding me back. I came home because I wanted to and now Ihave the store. I can’t believe how great it’s doing. Speaking of which, Ireally have to get back to work. Violet is fabulous, but it’s my responsibility.You know how that is. Being the one who makes it happen. It was great to see youthree. We’ll stay in touch, all right?”

She stood, gave a little wave, then quickly walked to her car.Once she’d backed out of the parking space, she drove to the other end of theparking lot and pulled into an empty space. Then she rested her head against thesteering wheel and told herself that if she kept breathing everything would befine. As long as she kept breathing.

Even as she drew air in and pushed it out, she felt her chesttighten and her eyes start to burn. Lying to her friends wasn’t the answer, shereminded herself. Although the truth was equally impossible. What was shesupposed to say? That Aaron had left her for anotherwoman, but that she almost didn’t care about that because the rest of it was somuch worse? That she’d come home because she had nowhere else to go, and openingthe store had been a stupid mistake? That would have been a conversationstopper.

And while she was being honest, Caitlin, Jolene and Kimberlyweren’t friends. Not anymore. They were women she used to know and little more.They were in different places, and she was...lost.

Which meant she had to do something about her life. Butwhat?

* * *

The question plagued Jenna through the rest of theafternoon. She let Violet go early—it wasn’t as if they had any customers—thenclosed right at six. After turning the lock, she walked through her empty store,touching the cool metal on the gourmet coffeemakers, the smooth surface of themixing bowls.

The scent of cinnamon still lingered in the air. She’d madecookies earlier, in an attempt to entice customers. It hadn’t worked.

She stood in the center of her store and turned in a slowcircle. She liked everything about the space—the crowded shelves, the wideaisles, the cooking area in back. She liked the view out of the window, beingnext to the yarn store, leasing in Old Town. She liked it, but she didn’t loveit.

She hadn’t wanted to make plain cinnamon cookies. She’d wantedto blend in ginger and try something fun like rosewater. She’d thought aboutgoing to the market and buying fresh spring vegetables, then making a red winerisotto with the crunchy, delicious vegetables served with a perfect roastedchicken stuffed with garlic and spices.

She’d heard two women complaining about all the ingredientsthey had in their pantries, items bought for a single recipe but never usedagain. When they’d listed a few, a dozen possibilities had occurred to her, andshe’d almost spoken. But she’d been afraid.

She remembered experimenting with a salmon dish at therestaurant where she and Aaron worked. He was the high-profile chef, the man whocharmed customers, spending more time in the front of the store rather than inthe back. He’d dazzled, while she’d worked the magic behind the scenes.

That night, it had been raining. Something that didn’t happenoften in Los Angeles. The sound of the rain on the roof had made her think aboutmurky seawater and all things green. She’d created a green sauce, then,borrowing from one of her favorite mole recipes, had added rich dark chocolate.While she hadn’t been completely thrilled with the resulting color, the flavorhad been perfect.

She’d offered a sample to a few regular customers, just to gettheir feedback. Aaron had swept in and taken the dishes from them. Worse, he’dapologized for what she’d made, as if she were some first-year student who hadburned toast. She’d been humiliated.

Later, when she’d yelled at him, he’d acted as if she was theone at fault. He’d had several of the staff taste her dish. One of the women hadactually gagged. Jenna had been crushed, wondering if there was something wrongwith her taste buds. Were they different from everyone else’s?

During the divorce, she’d found out Aaron had been sleepingwith the server, so her reaction was probably scripted, but the damage had beendone. Jenna had started to question herself, to wonder if her instincts wereoff. As soon as doubt appeared, she found herself sticking to what was safe. Shetold herself it was the smart thing to do, but in truth, she was slowly dyinginside.

Her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket, glancedat the screen and nearly jumped. Aaron? What would he want?

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