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“But he’s not that guy,” Ellington said quietly.

“Not even close. I pressed for marriage, he resisted. Finallyhe agreed, but I don’t think he really wanted to.” She ducked her head, afraidto admit what she’d always been ashamed of. “He wouldn’t buy me an engagementring. He said he was marrying me and that should be enough. When my mom askedabout it, I lied, telling her a diamond ring would get in the way of my cooking.That a simple gold band was easier in my line of work.”

She risked glancing at Ellington, half expecting to see himscrambling for the door. Instead he only looked concerned.

“That hurt you,” he said.

“Looking back, I know it was a big red flag. He was telling meflat out that I didn’t matter as much to him as he mattered to me. Now I can seewe were doomed from the start.”

“Every marriage has challenges.”

“Most of the time both parties are at least pretending to beinterested. I was looking for the storybook ending and I completely chose thewrong man.”

“It may sound like a cliché, but marriage isn’t always abouthow it started, it’s about what happens on the journey.”

“I’ve sort of figured that out,” she admitted. “Besides, I’vealready blown through following in my parents’ footsteps.”

He studied her. “Perfection is an impossible standard. Ifthat’s your goal, you’re setting yourself up to fail.”

“I don’t want perfect,” she said automatically, then stopped.“Well, maybe a little perfection wouldn’t hurt.”

He put down his wine and leaned toward her. “Jenna, please takethis in the spirit in which I mean it. You have a lot of rules about how thingsshould be. Whether it’s the fact that Serenity and Tom waited until now to getin touch with you to how you run your business. Sometimes rules are good things,but sometimes they blind us to possibilities.”

His words made sense.

“I was the opposite of you,” he admitted. “I didn’t want anyrules. I felt my marriage was there to serve me. That despite pledging myself toanother person and later having a child, that I could still do anything Iwanted. Even if that meant disappearing to another country for three months at atime. I didn’t care enough about the other people in my life to change for them.And so I lost them both.”

He picked up his wine again. “I’m not sorry about the divorce,except for how it affected Isaiah. He deserved better from me. I’m stilllearning, and occasionally I resist the rules, but I know that a few are therefor the better good.”

“Just not all of them?” she asked.

“Exactly.”

He was right. She did have a lot of rules. Maybe that was whySerenity’s claim to hear messages from the universe annoyed her so much. In herworld, no mystic messages need apply.

“Serenity wants to embrace everything at once,” he said. “Shewants to pretend the last thirty-two years never happened and the two of you areclose and loving, with a lifetime of memories between you. You want to takethings slowly, to be cautious and careful. You’re protective, of yourself andthose around you. You’re worried about Beth and Marshall as much as yourself. Ithink that’s reasonable.”

“You’re saying we have a style difference.”

He nodded. “I can’t claim to know what it means to give up achild, but I do know what it’s like to almost lose one because of the choices Imade. I know the guilt I feel. I was able to become a part of my son’s life andbecause of that, I’ve changed. Serenity can’t undo what’s been done. She canonly move forward, perhaps with a little too much enthusiasm. There are thingsabout her...”

“Like what?”

He was quiet for a long time, then he smiled. “I think youshould give her a chance.”

“I can do that,” Jenna said. “I already have. She has a way ofsneaking up on a person.”

He looked at her. “I see a lot of her in you.”

A month ago, that statement would have bothered her. Now Jennacould see the value of being like Serenity. “Let me be clear. The universe and Iaren’t on speaking terms.”

“Fair enough.”

She looked at him. “I’m sorry I snapped at you before.”

“You’re under a lot of pressure.”

“You reminded me of Aaron.”

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