“I need to see her,” Revna demanded, fear, worry, and anger warring on her face. “Now.”
“That’s understandable,” I said, turning to my men. Arryn nodded at me, indicating she had returned from her task of delivering messages for us. “Baer, will you go get her and bring her here?”
Once he had left, I tried to continue. “Now, Titania has Callum and my father. I’ve got a plan to get them back. I’ve made contact with her, and we’ve made a fae deal to exchange this book for them.”
“No! You can’t do that,” Revna exclaimed again, more mistrust spilling from her eyes. This time, even Ramund was having doubts, no longer trying to keep his mate from reacting.
“Listen, I get that this sounds crazy.” I held out my hands, doing my best to placate them. “But I’ve got a plan. Your arrival couldn’t have come at a better time. It makes what we need to do next easier for everyone. Tonight, if you can study the objects, then tomorrow, we will go to meet Titania. I promise you this, though: she will not get this book. She will not become a goddess or gain access to untold power. If you just trust me, this should all work out.”
“Listen to her mother. It’s the best plan we’ve ever had and our last chance to end Titania’s reign. We need to attack her with everything we’ve got, but Rhowyn must play a part until our opportunity presents itself.”
“Cyerra!” Revna gasped, immediately relieved, her fascination with the orb forgotten as her eyes traveled the length of her daughter, checking her for injuries. Arryn took the orb from her without her noticing as she darted toward Cyerra, embracing her.
Ramund handed over the tome as well, also going to hug his daughter. My heart panged at the scene before me. My own jealousy tugged at me, reminding me I’d never had that with my own parents. A dark thought wrenched at me as my emotions swelled. If I couldn’t have such affection, then why should they?Shaking my head at the desire to do them harm, I pushed forward, needing to know now if they would help us. If they refused, then we needed to leave immediately. “So, will you help us? Will you trust me?”
Revna turned to me, studying me while still holding her daughter. Her eyes met Ramund’s over Cyerra’s head, talking to him through their mate bond. Finally, she turned back to me. “Yes. We will help you. If Cyerra trusts you, and Avalonia has sent us here, then we will do everything in our power to help you.”
Chapter Forty Two: Rhowyn
I stood on the balcony I had found on my walk the previous night, staring down at the preparations of the Ravens and soldiers. Everyone was gearing up and packing for our journey at first light. We’d be cutting it close, but I knew we’d get there in time. Being late to the meeting wasn’t an option.
After filling Revna and Ramund in on our plans, I needed a moment alone with my thoughts. They had seen the wisdom in the plan, unable to come up with any better ideas. Their plan, after situating the Ravens inside the Keep’s courtyard, was to study the objects for what they could find. Promises to find me if they discovered anything followed me as I left them to it.
My men had made to follow me, but I halted them with the explanation that I needed this time to myself. In truth, it wasn’t just my need to wrap my mind around the fear and worry about tomorrow’s confrontation. It was also the new fear that was niggling at me. The dark thought that had crossed my mind earlier.
Never before had I ever felt such a desire to cause another harm. Even Titania. Which was saying something. Despite all the evil she had caused, I didn’t really want to harm her. Granted, I knew that there wouldn’t be another option. The only way to truly stop her was through death, but it didn’t keep me from wishing that there was another way.
So, to have the desire to hurt my friend and allies was unsettling, to say the least. The tone had mimicked the orb’s call. The book had the same energy but didn’t seem to contain quite as much malevolence, though it was still pervasive. A part of me feared that the darkness that had assaulted my mind was changing me, that it was still there, just waiting for the opportunity to slip inside if I relaxed my walls.
I couldn’t feel it now, though. My mind was my own in this moment, which left me feeling confused. Maybe it was all in my head? A simple reaction to all the stress and strain I had been under since coming to Avalon? Wasn’t it often said that you could never truly know how you would react in a situation until you were in that situation? That it was impossible to know the mettle of a man until his character had been tested?
Perhaps that was all it was. A mixture of exhaustion, nightmares, fear, anxiety, and the unknown future. I relaxed slightly, convinced my mind was playing tricks on me. Really, I should be trying to sleep. I knew two of my men were already waiting for me in my bed, but I just couldn’t stop my thoughts from whirring inside my head. Anxiety ate away at me until I had to walk, to move, until my body was physically too tired. Still, my brain refused to succumb to the fatigue I felt down to the marrow of my bones.
Light footsteps sounded out behind me, and I turned to find Cyerra, a familiar face trailing behind her. “Hi, Loren,” I called out to the man who had followed us from the village we had saved, becoming Cyerra’s new shadow.
He dipped his head. “Your Majesty. It’s a nice night out tonight,” he said, his eyes darting to an annoyed Cyerra.
I laughed. “That it is. I just wish I could really enjoy it.”
“Don’t worry, Your Majesty. You’ll kick Titania’s ass tomorrow and then have plenty of nights like this to enjoy.” The naïve confidence and hope in his tone reminded me of the girl I had met in the Enclave. I eyed her now, her eyes widening in a plea for me to dismiss him. Despite my desire to tease her, I did as she asked.
“Thank you, Loren. I’m lucky to have the faith of such a man as yourself. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to speak to my friend in private. We’ve much to discuss before tomorrow.” Cyerra rolled her eyes at me, her back still turned to him.
I bit back a smile as he jumped. “Of course. Apologies, Your Majesty. I’ll…just leave you two to it then.” He hesitated at the threshold to the balcony, obviously not wanting to leave Cyerra’s side but being unable to find an excuse to stay. Finally, he ducked his head, dejected somewhat as he walked away.
Cyerra turned, leaning into the hallway, waiting for him to get far enough away before she turned back to me. “Thank you! He hasn’t left my side except when I’m on a mission for you,” she gushed.
I laughed out loud, the first time I had felt any true amusement and joy since Callum had been taken. “He seems quite devoted,” I told her.
“Ugh! It’s too much. He’s nice and everything, but I don’t like him like that. I know he wants more from me than friendship, but I can’t see us in that way,” she admitted, moving forward to rest her forearms on the railing, looking down at the courtyard without actually seeing it.
Compressing my lips to hide my amusement, I said, “Who knows. He may just surprise you if you’d give him a chance.” She turned to glare at me, but I held up my hands to ward her off. “Just saying, you could easily do worse than him. You never know.”
“Trust me, I’ll never see him like that. As more than a friend,” she said with all the confidence of someone who’d never been surprised by love. It wasn’t all that long ago that I had also felt the same way, convinced that Lennox and Callum weren’t meant for me. Life had a way of surprising us all when we least expected it.
Genuinely curious now, enjoying the distraction from the pressures of tomorrow, I asked, “Why do you say that? What’s so wrong with him? He seems like a nice enough guy to me.”
She huffed. “That’s just it, he’s too nice. He doesn’t even really know me, yet he’s already so clingy to me. For all he knows, I could be some evil, conniving harlot bent on his destruction, and he would still follow me blindly off a cliff if I asked it of him.”