Page 42 of Their Queen

I found an alcove that opened onto a small balcony. Stepping out into the night air, I inhaled the smells deeply as my eyes drifted closed, allowing the cool, fresh scent to invigorate me, both mind and body. The breeze drifted across my bare skin raising goose bumps as I opened my eyes to find the sprawling courtyard below me. Small fires burned as soldiers, my soldiers, huddled around them, their voices drifting up to my ears. Their countenance hinted at hope and confidence. Since my arrival, new life had been breathed into them, and they finally believed they had a chance to succeed. They were fighters, just like me. Praying that eventually, one day, their pain and suffering would be worth something, that it had all been for something greater than themselves, something they could be proud of.

People arrived every day, and Aurelia greeted them, offering them shelter and assigning them jobs. Those who could hold a sword were given training to keep them alive as long as possible. Not all of them would make it, but we would do everything in our power to give them a fighting chance. For some, that was all they were asking for. Without us, without this rebellion, they didn’t even have that, doomed to await the death of their land and loved ones, railing against a broken system. They were me, and I was them.

Callum and Baer worked with them while we waited for intelligence from our spies?from Brannoc and Cyerra. Arryn commanded and led our war efforts. Lennox played politician and helped Callum’s sister smooth over small disputes. But what did I do? I was just a figurehead. Granted, I had more power than I ever could have dreamed of, but so far, I had done nothing with it. It chafed at me, this impotency.

Closing my eyes, I could see each of my men’s faces. I loved them. Many people these days saw love as what someone else could do for themselves, how someone else could make them better. But I saw love as something different. Love was patient and kind, it didn’t envy or boast, nor was it rude or arrogant. It wasn’t irritable or resentful, didn’t insist on its own way, but rejoiced in truth.

On Earth, I had heard the scripture but hadn’t understood it?not fully. Now, though, I finally had a grasp on the concept.

When faced with Callum and his vexing ways, I was patience embodied, waiting for him to unfold his truth to me until I found all of him. He did the same in return, even though I knew he wanted to strangle me sometimes.

With Baer, it was kindness and joy, even in the face of depravity. He chose to face the darkness with nothing more than the light from within him, and when he’d lost it, I showed him the way back.

Lennox, my playboy prince, didn’t feel the need to boast about being my consort; instead, he had shed that exterior to reveal his tender heart underneath, trusting me to care for it. An offering I would cherish until my dying day.

Arryn was never arrogant, calm and confident in the best of ways. His honor and valor kept him honest despite the pressures to cave to the world around him. He was my rock in these tumultuous times, and I would be his in return, leaning on each other to brace against the storm that was coming.

And Brannoc, he was truth. He had come into my life unexpectedly, forsaking all of his own wishes and desires for mine, serving me from the very beginning while facing the truth that there would always be those who saw him as lesser than me for being lower fae. And still, he didn’t care because the truth was, his love was enough to suffer their condemnation. And how could I do anything less than face the truth that my love for him was just as deep, uncaring about what others thought about my mate, though I vowed they would see the heart of the brave and strong man I had come to know well in such a short amount of time.

To me, that was love. It wasn’t about what they did for me but what we found in each other. Things that were already there, to begin with. We just took the time to nurture these things with love and patience, with forgiveness and understanding. That’s how I knew we’d weather whatever Titania could throw at us. Time and time again, they had shown their characters in little ways. Sure, we hadn’t had the chance to date or the small episodes of time to connect that didn’t involve survival and war, but honestly, this way was better to me.

People could fake who they were when not under pressure. They could always present themselves in the best light, not showing you the shadows that lurked underneath, hidden in the closet for you to stumble across when you were least expecting it. I knew better than most from my experience in the foster care system just how shiny people could make their lives appear from the outside only to hide the filth and decrepitude that lingered behind closed doors.

In war, times of stress that made us make life-and-death decisions, all of the bullshit was pushed to the side. People no longer cared how you viewed them; they simply wanted to survive. And yet, time and again in the trials and beyond, these men had shown me that they were respectable, full of valor, had integrity, strength, vulnerability, humility, kindness, and strong morals with a perfect sense of right and wrong. How could I not love them? They were everything I wanted for myself and strove every day to be. What better time to get to know the heart of each of these men than now?

My spirits buoyed slightly, I turned to head back inside, my meanderings leading me to the throne room. Walking to the back of it, I pushed open the door to the War Room, taking in the maps as we had left them before we had set off in hopes of cutting off Titania’s path across the Autumn territory. We had lost that battle overall, but maybe there was something I could see. Studying the map covered with markers to indicate spies, troops, the rot that had been stealing across Avalon, and more, I prayed that an answer would come to me.

These men had carried me up until now, and I was finally starting to realize why Avalonia had sent me off on my own, why she had insisted I go without them across the land. She was showing me that I could survive without them. No, that was wrong. She was showing me that I was stronger than I realized, strong enough to do what she had tasked me with. It was time that I stepped up and took full responsibility for this war.

Slowly, I had been coming around to the idea, accepting my role, but now, I felt I was ready for this. I was ready to become the queen Avalon needed.

Chapter Thirty One: Arryn

I reached for Rhowyn in my sleep only to find emptiness in the spot she had occupied before I remembered that she had left earlier. Lifting my head, I could see the faint hints of dawn and knew she had been gone for hours. Searching the bond and worried about her mindset, I felt only confidence and assuredness and maybe a hint of frustration.

Looking at the others, I decided it was best to let them keep resting. Callum and Baer had been waking early to train the soldiers or rather the farmhands that were playing at being soldiers in our rebellion. They were exhausted from the long hours of physical discipline needed to prepare these men for the war we were just now entering. Brannoc was dead to the world, his magic fully depleted. I gazed down at them all fondly.

I had grown up without siblings, the only child to bless my parents’ marriage in all their years. It had been lonely until Brannoc came along. My mother had taken him under her wing, mothering him in the way he needed, though he resisted those efforts at every turn. I think a part of him feared getting too close for fear of losing another parental figure. Looking back, I can’t say I blamed him. My own mother had passed from depression shortly after my father had been executed by Titania, unable to find the will to go on without him. I had been angry with her for a while, but now, I understood. Now that I knew the depths of what love was like, I could finally sympathize with how she had felt, knowing I would feel the same if something ever happened to Rhowyn.

Somewhere along the way, my role had shifted from leader to older brother, these men becoming the siblings I had always hoped for. They were my new family, our ties closer than blood. Now, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t seek pleasure in their bodies from time to time. Each of them were good-looking men with hearts of gold, but that would come when we had more time to explore. For now, I was happy with what I had.

I dressed silently, years of practice in the barracks ensuring I could do so quickly and without a sound. After leaving our shared bed, I searched the bond, following the pull until I found Rhowyn in the War Room. I paused in the doorway and took in the breathtaking sight of her.

Before she’d broken the glamor, she’d been gorgeous, but now, she was stunning. Her skin glowed with her magic; no shell would be able to contain that power again. Her hair was tucked behind her now-pointed ear; the still-dyed green color complimented her tanned and supple skin. Lennox shifted and drew my notice to where he was sitting in a chair, silently watching her as her brow furrowed in focus. So homed in on her task and train of thought that she hadn’t heard my arrival. For a large man, I moved noiselessly when I wanted, but I hadn’t been doing anything to muffle the sounds of my entry. I looked at Lennox questioningly, wondering how long she had been here studying the map. He just shrugged as if to say he didn’t know what she was hoping to find.

Knowing she must be hungry and could use a distraction, I walked around until I was standing behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist to pull her against me. I nuzzled her neck as she melted into my touch. Always so responsive to me. Fighting the urge to bend her over the table and take her while Lennox watched, I whispered, “Have you been here all night?”

She hummed when I kissed her neck in the spot where her jaw met the long line of her nape. “Not all night,” she admitted, her hands rubbing against mine that were still wrapped around her.

“Only for the last three hours,” Lennox said, joining us at the table, leaning his back against the map and crossing his legs.

She snapped her gaze to his. “Has it been that long?”

He leaned in and kissed her briefly. “Yes, Princess.”

“Damn,” she said as I relaxed my hold, her hands moving to run through her hair that had been left to fall loosely around her shoulders.

“What are you looking for? Anything you’re hoping to find?” I asked, coming to stand next to her. Sometimes, talking out our thoughts could help us pinpoint just what we were looking for. At least, it did for me. Brannoc could testify to that and my need to use him as a sounding board.

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