Page 7 of Their Queen

“Thanks,” I told her, taking a drink from my water and cleaning up my mess. “I’ll take the first watch. You get some rest.” I didn’t wait for her response, instead, moving to the mouth of our tiny cave and sitting cross-legged at the entrance. I heard her rustling around as my eyes roved the area, having adjusted to the darkness some time ago. Watching the shadows, I heard her breathing even out and slow, indicating she had fallen asleep.

Taking the opportunity, knowing it was a risk, I closed my eyes and lowered the wall. The guys needed to know that I was okay, and I needed the assurance that they were well. Immediately, their emotions bombarded me. Fear, anger, anxiety, depression, betrayal. I fought back tears of guilt and reached out. “Brannoc?” I sent the question down our connection, waiting with bated breath.

“Rhowyn!” A brief pause. “Where are you?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. And even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. It would defeat the purpose of leaving y’all behind,” I tried to explain, hoping they could find a way to understand and forgive me. Eventually.

“Why?” His question sounded out softly, defeated.

I sighed. “You know why. I love you all too much to let something else happen to any of you. And before you try to reassure me that nothing would happen, let me remind you that Baer thought the same thing, and now, he’s missing a hand.” A sob choked out of me at that thought. It was all my fault.

“Damnit, Rhowyn!” he swore at me. “We knew what we were signing up for. We all know the risks.”

“I know, but I can’t let you take them for me. I need to do this on my own. I just wanted to let you guys know that I was okay,” I told him, needing to close the connection again. I felt their frustration and anger down the lines, and as much as I wished I could have them to lean on, I wouldn’t drag them any further into this mess.

“Rhowyn, just let us know where you are. We just need to know you’re safe.” He tried to reason with me.

I laughed sadly. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Brannoc. If I tell you that, then you’ll all be here within hours. Give me a little more credit than that,” I told him. Before he could try again, I cut him off, “I gotta go now. I love you, Brannoc. All of…” My words and connection cut off to the sound of snapping branch.

Instantly alert, I slammed the connection shut and searched the woods around me, studying the shadows for any signs of movement. Nothing else sounded out, no movement from the darkness, nothing to indicate anyone else was out there, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were being watched. After what felt like thirty minutes without any other indication, I shrugged off the sensation. I was just on high alert being out here all by myself instead of safely with my men. It was probably just some forest creature, and I was being paranoid.

Suddenly, a figure lunged from the darkness to my left. “Well, what do we have here, boys?” the male’s voice sounded out, and I stiffened, reaching for the dagger at my waist.

“Uh, uh, uh….” The man waved a finger in my face. He jerked his head to the side and more figures melted out of the shadows, revealing the swords and bows that were all aimed at me. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Chapter Seven: Baer

I woke to the sounds of argument, instantly alert. “I’m going to kill her!” Callum yelled out.

“No. You won’t. You’re just angry.” Arryn tried reasoning with him. A crash sounded out, startling me. I groaned at the pain that shot through me at the sudden movement. A hand landed on me as I made to sit up, my head foggy about how I’d gotten here. I recognized my bed in Brannoc’s hide away, but the reason why I was lying here wouldn’t come to me.

“Shh…” Jude’s voice drew my attention to the old man now standing beside the bed. Noting the chair behind him, I could surmise he’d been waiting for me to wake up. “Just lie still. I’ll go get Arryn and have him check you over.”

“Okay,” I told him, my voice cracking, telling me that I hadn’t used it in a while. Or overused it. Either way, I could use a glass of water.

Jude disappeared from the room, and I heard running footsteps before the door burst open. Arryn paused on the threshold, relief painting his features. “Good. You’re awake.”

“There was…” I coughed to clear my throat. “Was there any doubt about that?” I tried again, more successfully.

“About that…” he started, moving to the side of the bed. He helped me sit up as I gritted my teeth against the pain and dizziness that swamped me, threatening to send me back into unconsciousness. I felt like I’d been hit by a train, and I couldn’t figure out why that was. Before continuing, he held a glass of water to my lips, helping me drink the cool liquid to soothe my throat. I made to help him hold the glass, but when I finally got my arm to cooperate, I noticed what had him so on edge.

At my questioning look, he explained. “Titania was going to have you beheaded as a way of forcing Rhowyn’s compliance with returning Avalonia’s magic in hopes that Genevieve could ascend in her place. Only, Loki stepped in at the last second and managed to knock the blade aside, resulting in that.” He nodded his head in the direction of my missing hand.

“We still almost lost you anyways. I couldn’t get the wound to stop bleeding because Rhowyn pulled all of our magic from us and into herself. If she hadn’t, then we all could have died,” he finished. His words swam around inside my brain, but I couldn’t focus on them, my gaze staring at where my hand should have been. A ringing in my ears sounded out, growing louder the longer I focused on the missing appendage. My sword hand. My dominant hand.

How could it just be gone? Here one minute, and the next, just poof. Up in smoke. I used that hand for everything. What would Rhowyn think of me now? I couldn’t defend her, couldn’t protect her. In fact, she had to save me. What kind of man was I without that? What could I offer her now?

“Baer.” Arryn’s calm voice sank through the fog that had filled my mind, and I looked at him. When he was sure he had my attention, he said, “You’re going to be okay.”

The numbness that had overcome me at the realization of my missing hand fell away. “How? How can you be sure of that?”

“Because I’ve seen this before. Too many times to count. I promise, everything will work out,” he said calmly.

“You don’t know that for sure! It’s my sword hand, Arryn!” I yelled at him, my emotions all over the place. He wasn’t an oracle; he couldn’t foresee the future. So, how could he tell me now, with such confidence, that everything would be okay?

“You can learn to fight with your other hand. It may take some time, but you’ll see, you don’t need both hands to…”

“It’s easy for you to say! You have both hands!” I cut him off, holding up both of my arms for him to clearly see what was missing. I wasn’t whole anymore. I was only part of a man. One that was missing something I’d never get back. Broken beyond repair.

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