Page 32 of Their Queen

“I’ll get them set up,” Callum said, stepping up beside us.

“Thanks.” I smiled up at him. Heat instantly flared in his eyes and sent a flash of desire straight to my core. “Oh, can we also get the rest of the guards a place?” I asked, turning to find Lady Aurelia standing further back.

Stepping forward, she said, “We’ve been preparing for a long time and have plenty of quarters for everyone. I’ll make sure they get settled.”

“Great. Thanks,” I told her as Callum led Charity and her men away. Aurelia turned and walked back to where we’d left the guards by the gate.

For a moment, I stood there, not quite sure where to go next or what to do with myself. Lennox stepped up, his evening wear making him look delectable, and I found myself wanting to strip the clothes from him, needing to explore his body with my own. Lennox linked his arm in mine, smirking at me knowingly, clearly reading my thoughts through the bond. “This way, Princess.” I smiled at him and his cocky humor, letting him lead me through the doors and into the grand hall. The tables were already filling up, farmers and soldiers, banshees and brownies, all sitting together and conversing as equals, pausing as I entered.

They watched me in silence, varying expressions on their faces as Lennox led me to the throne I noticed earlier. The only difference was that a table had been placed in front of it, chairs on either side of me set out for us all at the head of the room. Arryn pulled out the throne for me to sit as the other men took their places on both sides of me. Arryn on one side, Lennox on the other, Baer to Arryn’s right, Brannoc to Lennox’s left. Callum entered shortly after we’d taken our seats and sat next to Baer, his sister sitting beside him.

I smiled at the thought of them catching up after all this time. My joy at him being able to have this opportunity swelled inside my chest. For a moment, everything felt so surreal and right. Cyerra joined us and took her spot next to Brannoc. After years of being so alone, everything was finally going my way. I’d finally found the family I had been searching for all along.

My eyes tracked down our group, halting on Baer and his broken expression. Of course, to everyone else, they’d simply see his stoic expression, but they didn’t know him like I did. I missed my old Baer, with his playful, puppy dog energy and cuddly nature. My heart broke seeing him like this, but I didn’t know how to fix it. Before I could consider it further, Arryn leaned over to me. “It seems everyone’s here. Maybe you should say something?”

“Me?” I squeaked, not prepared to give a speech.

“No, the beautiful Queen sitting next to you. Yes, you,” Lennox teased me, easing the tension somewhat, squeezing my hand in encouragement.

“Sure. Okay. Yeah, I can do that,” I said, more trying to convince myself than them.

“Just speak from your heart, Rhowyn. The words will come naturally, perfect just like everything else you do,” Arryn told me, fully easing my fear as he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

Pushing back my throne to stand, I steadied myself as the scraping of wood against stone was enough to draw everyone’s attention. The previous dull roar surrounding us halted until you could hear a pin drop. I resisted the urge to wipe my hands on my dress as I stood there, all eyes riveted to me. “Thank you all for joining me tonight and for allowing me to find refuge amongst you. It is my honor to serve you and Avalon as we strive to bring peace to this land once more. I may have been chosen as the next Queen, but I seek only to usher in equality and prosperity as Avalonia wanted from the beginning and to restore the balance and heal the land.

“I know you all have suffered in ways I can only imagine. Things aren’t just going to be perfect now that I’ve been selected, but I can promise you this. My Consorts and I will fight with everything we have to bring about the change you all have fought so hard for already. We will do everything in our power to make our future bright, even if that means laying down our lives. Our duty, first and foremost, is to serve Avalonia and her people. You.

“Now, please join me in this meal, our first of many more to come, Avalonia willing.”

I took my seat again, hoping my words were sufficient as the silence still lingered around me. I began to wonder if it had been enough when a shout rang out, “Long live the Queen!” More voices joined the first, ringing out as everyone raised their cups in a toast. “Long live the Queen!”

Raising my glass in acknowledgment, I toasted them back, taking a large drink from my glass and smiling. “Perfect,” Arryn whispered in my ear with a beaming smile, pride evident in his gaze.

We were interrupted by servers placing our plates before us, my thanks following them as they walked around refilling glasses and ensuring everyone had plenty to eat. The mood was infectious and filled me with hope for the future, weighed down only by the niggling pain in my bond with Baer. His pain pulsed down the line between us, stronger than my bonds with the others.

I needed to find a way to fix things with him, to help him through this time. The anguish I could feel was eating away at him, and I felt terrible that I hadn’t tried to address it sooner. Logically, I knew that I’d been busy, this being my first real breather since leaving Brannoc’s hideaway, but it still didn’t ease the guilt I felt at having not noticed sooner just how much pain he was in. How could I not have seen it? How’d I miss something this big? Would he really have shut me out of the bond? I knew I had done the same thing to them when I’d left, but that had been for their own good. Even if it had been something I’d needed to do at the time, I could still recognize that Callum had been right. That my fears, while valid, shouldn’t keep us apart.

Is that what Baer was feeling now? Fear? Or was this rejection? Hard as I tried, I couldn’t figure out just what it was that he was feeling. Just when I thought I had it pinned down, it shifted into something else. Perhaps it was all of it?

I smiled and talked during dinner, knowing I couldn’t let our people see this instability in our group. We needed to present a united front, a strength that they could depend on. They didn’t need to see that one of my bonds was fraying with a wound that was invisible to the eye. After what felt like hours, the food was cleared away, and I felt I could make my exit without insulting anyone. Half of the room had already departed for their own quarters and the other half was well on their way to being drunk.

Standing, I made for the door, my men following behind me as we exited and navigated the halls to our rooms. I paused near my room, watching as Baer hastily made his way to his own room. I hadn’t known which one he’d chosen for his own, but now that I did, I knew I needed to confront the elephant in the room.

Lennox had paused next to me, obviously hoping he’d share my bed tonight. Seeing the direction of my attention, he just smiled, kissing me deeply. “I’ll see you in the morning, Princess.”

The others followed his lead, each kissing me until Arryn stood before me. “If you’re going to speak with him, remember that he’s in pain. It’s not uncommon for people and animals to lash out when they’re hurting. Don’t take it personally, and I’m here for you if you need me.”

I smiled sadly at him, knowing he was right. This conversation wasn’t going to be fun, but it was the least I could do for Baer after all he’d done for me. “You’re right. I’ll find you if I need you,” I told him, ending our conversation with a brief kiss before pulling away.

Squaring my shoulders in preparation for the fight that was sure to follow, I took a deep breath and raised my hand to the door. Well, here goes nothing, I thought, letting my knuckles knock into the heavy wooden door.

Chapter Twenty Two: Baer

I stood in my room, shoulders hunched in the darkness as I fought the anger and pain that were threatening to overwhelm me. Exhaling a shaky breath, I lifted a hand to run it over my face, only to pause when I realized that hand was no longer there. Fuck!

Throwing up a sound barrier, I screamed out my anger and frustration, swiping my good hand across the desk and knocking everything on top to the floor, the items breaking and shattering just like I already had. It was fitting. Something inside me was fracturing on a level that I’d never felt before.

I didn’t know how to navigate through this loss, this pain. Life had always had a way of working out for me, more because I could always find the bright side of a situation, but now, I could only see darkness. Try as I might, my mind was so overcome with pain and futility that I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Never before had I truly understood that human saying. It seemed I was finally learning the meaning in a way I would rather not have. At first, I had persisted in the hope that if I kept going, the light would somehow appear. If anything, everything only seemed to be getting darker. Since waking up and finding out that Rhowyn had left because of me, I couldn’t seem to find my way out of it.

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