Page 68 of Their War

“Thank you, Cyerra. I appreciate your hospitality, and I look forward to seeing you again shortly. Hopefully with your help, we can also make the council see the prudence in allowing us passage to the waters.”

“Of course. I'll see you shortly.” She beamed, bouncing away with high spirits.

I watched her leave. “I like her,” I told Brannoc, meaning every word. Her innocence was refreshing, and I couldn't help but wonder what such a feeling would be like. To have such complete and utter faith that things would work out for the best. There was no sense dwelling on things that would never come to pass. Instead, it was time to have the hard conversation with Brannoc that we had both been avoiding. Welp, there was no time like the present.

Chapter Thirty Nine: Rhowyn

In true fashion, I avoided the topic for as long as I could. It seemed Brannoc was just as loathe as I was to have the conversation we both were desperately trying to skirt around. I entered the room, taking a quick glance around to find a simple full-sized bed, a wardrobe, and a door off to one side. Opening the door revealed a large bathroom, a tub sunken into the floor, with toiletries and towels sitting on a table along the side of the room.

I marveled at the idea that running water found its way all the way up here in the tree, but I guess with magic, anything was possible. Deciding to take Cyerra up on the offer to freshen up, I closed the door behind me, leaving both Brannoc and I to our own thoughts.

The water magically turned on at the perfect temperature, just hot enough to tingle as I entered the water but not hot enough to burn me. My muscles instantly relaxed at the sensation, and I leaned my head back against the edge, closing my eyes and just basking in the warmth that now surrounded me.

However, it didn't take long before my intrusive thoughts found their way back in and began hammering at my walls to let them in. In this moment, I wished I had the arms of one of my men around me, to offer me comfort and support. The idea that one of them wouldn't want me hadn't occurred to me, and after being openly accepted by the guys, I never questioned whether or not Brannoc wanted me. I'd taken him at his word, that he wanted to be with me in any way that he could have me, but maybe he hadn't expected a lifetime commitment when he'd said those things. Perhaps he'd simply wanted to get me out of his system in hopes that he could move on and return to his solitary life that he'd led before.

Hell, even when Callum had pushed me away, I'd never felt as dejected as I did now. I wiped a few tears from my eyes, unsure of how to broach the subject, how to ease this pain that we were both clearly feeling.

Squaring my shoulders with a sniffle, I hardened myself and locked away those emotions. I couldn't afford to have this weighing on me right now. I needed to secure the water, and then maybe I could let myself fall apart.

After scrubbing myself until my skin was tinged pink, as if I just scrubbed hard enough, the emotions would wash away as easily as the dirt, I drained the water before running a fresh batch to rinse with. Finally satisfied and unable to prolong my bath any further, I exited the tub and wrapped a towel around myself. It wasn't until I picked up my clothes that I realized just how filthy they'd become from the hike through the forest. Not interested in putting them back on my newly cleaned skin, I peeked my head out the door. Brannoc was laying on the bed, his hands behind his head and eyes closed.

I tiptoed across the room to the wardrobe, pulling it open to see what options I had. Fingers crossed it was something more than the loincloth that Revna had worn. I knew the Fae were comfortable with nudity, but I hadn't managed to shake my human insecurities. Maybe in a couple of decades or a couple of centuries I'd be able to walk around mostly nude without turning a bright red shade, but for now, I opted for the outfit that provided the most coverage.

Taking the clothes in one hand, I turned to head back to the bathroom, my eyes meeting Brannoc's as he watched me silently. Despite having had sex with him and being mated, I felt more naked than ever before. Water dripped from my hair, sending goose bumps along my skin as I froze like a deer in the headlights. “Are we going to talk about this?” he asked me, still not moving.

“About what?” I played stupid, panicking at the thought of having a heart-to-heart with him without some form of armor in place.

He sighed. “If that's how you want it, I deserve to have to wait.” His eyes closed again with a look of pain.

Unfreezing, I hurried to the bathroom but hesitated before closing the door behind me. “Let me get dressed, and maybe then we can hash this out.” Not waiting for his response, I threw on the clothes that had been provided. This one was a dress that was mostly see-through, with long sleeves and flowed to the ground. It had a plunging neckline that dipped to below my navel, but darker patches of purple covered all the necessary bits. It definitely covered more than Revna’s loincloth, and for that, I was happy as I could be.

It seemed wise to wear the provided clothes, proving that I respected their customs and fashions. No makeup was provided, so I finger combed my hair and let it air dry around my shoulders. I wished I had Juniper here now to do my hair in some fancy updo or braid. She truly worked magic on me and bolstered my confidence by making me feel beautiful in a way that was totally new for me. Apparently, it didn't take me long to become spoiled by the finer things in life.

Satisfied that nothing else could be done, I took a deep breath and exited the room. My eyes found the clock along the opposite wall. “Shit, there's only thirty minutes left before Cyerra returns. You should probably bathe and get ready for dinner. If we have time, we can talk afterward.”

Brannoc sighed, getting up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I heard the water start to run, and I plopped down on the bed. I was a coward. My relief at having another excuse to avoid the dreaded elephant in the room was short lived as I recognized the pathetic tactics I had been using.

Why was this so hard? Why did I care so much about what he wanted? I had the others; I shouldn't need his affection as well. So why did this hurt so much? It's not like we'd known each other long enough for me to have fallen in love with him, though I certainly had felt that we could get there after we'd had sex and connected on a deeper level.

The door swung open, interrupting my thoughts and revealing Brannoc, a towel wrapped around his waist, water still running down his lithe body. I swallowed a lump in my suddenly dry throat. Why was I so thirsty all of a sudden? I'd seen near-naked men in just as good of shape as he was, but there was something about his abs that made me want to lick the water from them.

He met my eyes briefly. “I forgot to get the clothes.” I forced a smile, sure that he was just as discombobulated as I was about this whole thing. He walked quickly to the wardrobe, holding his towel in one hand and opening the door with the other. He dug through the offered selection until he found what he was looking for.

He made to drop the towel and then glanced at me when the towel dipped low enough that I could see his adonis belt and happy trail. He gripped the edges harder and rushed back to the bathroom, leaving me to fan myself. Holy shit! Why did I have to be so attracted to him? It was right about now that I was wishing for underwear so my slickness wouldn't be evident to everyone around. Standing, I began pacing, trying to force thoughts of sex from my head.

I whirled at the sound of the door opening again, swallowing at the sight of Brannoc as he exited, wearing only leather pants that were widely braided along the sides, similar to the ones that Cyerra had been wearing. Holy cow. Leather pants had never looked so good. Unable to resist, my eyes dipped to the obvious bulge of his pants before jerking back to his to find a smirk on his face. I narrowed my eyes, frustrated that he wasn't feeling the same instant attraction as I was. All the more reason to avoid this conversation. The last thing I wanted right now was to be completely rejected before going into this meeting.

Saved by the knock on the door, I whirled to answer it, slightly breathless from the motion. “Cyerra! So glad to see you again!” I exclaimed a lot more cheerfully than was probably normal.

She smiled at me awkwardly. “It's good to see you again, too, Rhowyn.” Leaning around me, she smiled at Brannoc. “And you as well. I see you both found the clothes we left for you.”

“Yes,” I answered her. “They're all so lovely.” They truly were, even though I didn't feel as if they fit me or my personality.

“Good. It'll help you not stand out as much, though keeping your ears covered will also help,” she said, taking in my hair that I'd left down.

Forcing a smile and preparing myself to hear comments along these lines all night, I opened my mouth to reply, but Brannoc beat me to the punch. “She looks like a queen, even with her human glamor.”

“Of course!” Cyerra said, dipping her head as if just now realizing how rude she was being. “I meant no disrespect. Sometimes my mouth runs away with me before I've had a chance to think. It's the bane of my mother's existence,” she joked.

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