Page 55 of Their War

“I’m sure you’re right. I’d like to think that he is the same man I knew, that he’d never hurt anyone, but after what he’s suffered, I can’t delude myself. The son I knew no longer exists, but it still doesn’t stop me from wanting to know the man he’s become, to help him through his pain.” Jude’s head drooped as he spoke, the realization of what his son must have suffered weighing on him with a hint of guilt.

“All these years. How could I have not known that he was so close to me all that time? That, while I went about my duties, he was suffering below my feet, subjected to the Queen’s whims and brutality.” His voice broke as he spoke these words, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears. This brief glance into his doubts rattled me though I didn’t show it.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, I attempted to comfort him, knowing it was pointless. “Don’t blame yourself. The fault lies solely at the Queen’s feet. If she didn’t want you to know, then you wouldn’t have. There’s nothing you could have done.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he said, though I could tell by the contrition in his expression that he didn’t buy any of it. At a loss for further words, I watched him follow Lennox and Baer down the hall.

Turning back, I noticed Brannoc had yet to move. Crossing to him, I spoke, “You should probably get some rest as well. I’m sure your magic is tapped out. You look like you’re about to collapse like Rhowyn.”

As he looked at me, I caught the flurry of emotions that passed over his expression too quickly for me to determine what they were. “What is it?” After all these years, I knew him well enough to know that something else was bothering him.

His mouth opened then shut as he searched for the right words, his hands held out, palms up as if paying penitence. I stood there patiently, waiting for him to sort through what exactly he wanted to say. He shifted uncomfortably, until finally, his words rushed out. “She’s my mate.”

Chapter Thirty One: Brannoc

“She’s what?!” Arryn exclaimed, my pronouncement obviously taking him off guard like I had expected. I was just as shocked as he was now, although I’d had some time to wrap my head around the idea. When I didn’t respond quickly enough for him, he asked, “What makes you think that? I thought only another Raven could be your mate?”

With a shrug of my shoulders, I turned my back on his questioning gaze, needing a strong drink to help me process this development. Using a heavy hand, I poured myself a liberal amount of whiskey, liking the burn and caustic nature of the human liquor. I needed something to help ground me, to break me out of the numb state I was in. I held the bottle out to Arryn to ask if he needed one as well.

He nodded sharply and ambled over to me, a hand running down his face, his shoulders slumping from the weight that kept pushing down on him. The last thing I wanted to do was add anything else to his load, but I couldn’t hide this. Not from him.

Taking a drink, I allowed the abrasive spirit that ran down my throat to bring me a sense of solace, brief as it may be, my eyes drifting closed to relish the moment as I put my thoughts together. Opening my eyes, I studied Arryn, the man I considered to be my brother even though we were nowhere near being related. He’d rescued me, teaching me to stand up on my own, to not be ashamed of who I was, of what I was. For that, I would always be grateful. It’s why I had agreed to help when he called.

He rarely ever asked for help, being determined to do most things on his own, so when he did ask, there was never any question. I would always do whatever it was he needed help with, no matter the ramifications. He was really the only family I had, the only one I could count on.

At least, that was until this moment. Now, I had Rhowyn. At least, I hoped I did. I couldn’t be certain that she’d accept the bond, but there would never be another on my part. She was it for me. While I was excited to have found such a rare thing, that excitement was dampened by the fact that she wasn’t a Raven and my fear of what that would mean for her and everyone else.

Sighing, I tried my best to answer Arryn’s questions. “Mates are rare. As in there hasn’t been a mated pair in the last thousand years that I know of. Although I haven’t spent much time with my kind, as you’re aware, I have gathered that True Mates have been nothing more than a legend, our numbers slowly decreasing after our persecution. No one knows why, except that the population of Ravens has dwindled to the point that my people fear the end of our race.”

Taking another drink, I studied Arryn’s face as he not so patiently waited for my explanation. To anyone else, it would appear that he was the embodiment of that virtue, but to me, I could see the cracks in his veneer. I noticed the small twitches and emotions that leaked through. “That said, I never expected to find mine. Partly because of the fact that it’s become so rare and partly because I spend so little time with my people. I’m just not around other Ravens enough to make any connections, especially the type of connection needed to spark a bond.

“I don’t know much about the bond, but looking back, I can assume it snapped into place after Rhowyn and I, um, connected earlier. It shouldn’t be possible for her to be my mate, she’s not a Raven, but only a mate can enhance our powers. It’s the only explanation I have for how she was able to use my magic and for why I now feel her. Here.” I rubbed a hand over my chest where I could feel a faint tether between us. Having noticed it earlier, I had brushed it off as simply my infatuation with her, deepening after the moment we had shared. With everything else that had been going on, I had been distracted, but now that I focused on it, I could feel her. From what I could gather about her connection to the other guys, it was similar but not the same.

Sighing and taking another drink, he remained silent long enough to have me shifting from one foot to the other. The last thing I wanted was for this to come between us, to affect our relationship. I couldn’t imagine having to choose between them. If you had asked me a month ago, I would have easily said that Arryn was the most important relationship in my life. Hell, he was the only relationship I had that was not work-related. It was just the way I had liked it. That way I didn’t owe anyone anything; I answered only to myself.

But since the moment I met Rhowyn, she’d dug under my skin, only to find a place in my heart. First, it was the mystery that surrounded her and who she was exactly. The human girl that wasn’t human, selected for the trials out of obscurity and dragged back from the human realm. Then, I stuck around because of the strength and fire that she had displayed, the goodness that surrounded her. She was captivating, alluring in ways she didn’t mean to be. The more I discovered, the more she drew me in until I couldn’t resist her anymore.

Thinking back, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the bond that had kept me near, pushed me to follow through with pursuing her, and made it impossible to resist the opportunity to love her the way she deserved.

Arryn spoke, pulling me from my thoughts. “This has to be because of Avalonia. She’s broken so many traditions with Rhowyn to begin with. I have a feeling that something more than just the kingdom is at stake.”

He finished off his drink before continuing, “I have to believe that she’s called on us to help Rhowyn accomplish whatever task she has in mind. Like I told you before, the decision to include you is always Rhowyn’s. I know Baer and Lennox won’t mind, but I do have my concerns on how Callum will react. He shouldn’t have a problem, but he’s been so unpredictable lately, his temper flaring when I least expect it.” Arryn voiced his thoughts out loud, something he did frequently with me. He wasn’t really looking for input, but he found it easier to put everything in order by verbalizing his musings.

I let him continue, only chiming in to tell him that I wanted this development to stay between us. “I need to tell her myself. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I know it needs to come from me.”

“Probably better if it were sooner than later,” Arryn advised.

“You’re right,” I confirmed, knowing I didn’t want to attribute to her trust issues. The last thing I wanted to do was to start our relationship out on the wrong foot. “Then she can decide how much to tell the others.”

Having cleared that problem up, knowing my burden felt lighter after talking it out with Arryn, I wanted to help him in the same way. “What’s on your mind?”

He glared at me, and I smiled softly in response. “You know you can’t hide from me. I know when something’s bothering you.”

Letting out a huff of air in acknowledgement, he stated, “I don’t even know where to begin. It’s everything. The rebellion or resistance or whatever we are calling it now. The traitor in our midst that ratted me out and got Rhowyn imprisoned. The knowledge that something else is going on behind the scenes that we are only getting bits and pieces of. Or it could be the fact that the Queen has something up her sleeves, something that will result in her continued reign and possibly the death of Avalon as we know it.”

I laughed, pouring more whiskey into our now empty glasses. “Oh, is that all?” He laughed with me, the burden lifting from him briefly before it settled again, sagging onto his broad shoulders. He’d always borne more than others our age, an old soul from the very beginning, seeing more than I had at his age. He was used to being in charge, the position coming naturally to him like breathing or walking. He did it without even thinking. His calm, steady nature pulled in everyone and convinced them that he could carry it all. He’d take on everyone’s problems without complaint, even if it pulled him under. It’s just what he did.

My job was to help him carry that burden, to lift him back up when he faltered. "You know that I’m here for you, that you’re not expected to carry all of this on your own?”

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