Page 44 of Their War

“I wasn't running. I was spying. Trying to see if I could find information that could help us.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, but just know, you're not fooling anyone.”

Deciding to pour my own drink, I needed the libations if I was being forced to have this conversation. “I'm not trying to fool anyone. I'm simply stating facts.”

He just stared at me, clearly not buying my excuse. Sitting in the chair beside him, I sighed. “Fine. I was running.”

“Obviously.”

“Don't rub it in,” I told him, narrowing my eyes at him.

Smiling at me, he asked, “When did you become so dense?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, not liking the tone of this talk.

“I mean, we all know you're attracted to Rhowyn. We even know she's attracted to you.” At my questioning look, he explained, “We can feel it in the bond. As for you, you're not very subtle about your interest.”

“I don't want to cause any problems. I simply want to help Rhowyn, but if my being around is an issue, I can leave,” I said, taking a deep drink of my liquor. Leaving Rhowyn was the last thing I wanted, but I didn't want to add any more to her plate than she already had. If my being here was distracting her, I'd disappear from her life in a heartbeat.

“Don't be daft,” Arryn said. “I'm trying to tell you that we've talked about this.” I glanced sharply at him, not daring to hope. As if reading my mind, he continued quickly. “Well, not with Rhowyn, not yet. I meant that the guys and I have discussed this, and if it's something that Rhowyn wants, we won't interfere. We want her to be happy and safe. We trust you enough by now to know that you have her best interests in mind and will protect her as surely as we would.”

“But how?” I asked, taken aback by this information. “There's never been a Queen who's taken a low fae lover before. It's just not done.”

He smiled. “As if you haven't noticed that Rhowyn is different by now. She'll do what she pleases either way. Besides, I have a feeling that Avalonia put you in our lives for a reason. She knew Rhowyn would need you, that you could give her something that she can't get from us.”

“And none of you have a problem with this?” I asked. “Even Callum?”

Arryn laughed softly. “Well, Callum is still on the fence, but he won't stand in your way. It's for Rhowyn to decide what she wants with you.” Finishing his drink, he stood, setting the glass on the side table. “Don't fuck this up,” he told me before heading to his room.

Unsure of how to process this revelation, I sat there stunned. The thing I wanted most in this world was sitting right before me. The question was, did I dare take it?

Chapter Twenty Five: Rhowyn

I slept alone last night, not quite ready to forgive any of them. While I could give them a second chance, I wasn't ready to get my hopes up that I'd be allowed to go with them without a fight. Granted, while making plans last night with Loki, Arryn begrudgingly included me, Callum staying silent but obviously still in disagreement. Until we were back in the castle, I wouldn't be able to relax.

Splashing cold water on my face to wake myself up, I regretted my lack of sleep. After tossing and turning all night, my thoughts refusing to let me rest, I finally gave up instead, trying to focus my mind in preparation for what I needed to do today.

Maybe a drink would help settle my nerves? Something to take the edge off sounded like just the thing. At this point, I'd try just about anything. As a fighter, I knew what nerves could do the night before a big fight. I knew and yet, this was on such a completely different level. In a fight, I didn't have to worry about anyone else getting hurt. I was in control.

But here? Now? I found that I had very little control, and it was terrifying. As much as we tried to plan for all the eventualities, I knew better than most that the best laid plans always went awry. Something would come up, and I prayed to Avalonia that my men would make it out of this safely. I'd do anything to ensure it.

I found the stash of liquor, greatly diminished over the last couple of days, the tension that we were under keeping us returning to the liquid that could soothe our raw anxieties. Finding a whiskey, I poured myself a glass, needing the sweet burn that it would give me. Taking a drink, I closed my eyes as it slid down my throat. My muscles relaxed as I inhaled, the scent of bergamot and night reaching my senses. Before opening my eyes, I prepared myself for this interaction. Today had already been tumultuous enough, I couldn't take any more rejection.

“Brannoc,” I said before opening my eyes to find him standing before me, just out of reach.

“Rhowyn.”

“What are you doing out here? Why aren't you resting?” I asked him, observing the mostly empty glass in his hand. He'd been out here first. I had probably intruded upon him.

“I could ask you the same,” he said.

Tipping my head in the direction of his glass, I said, “Sorry, I'll go. I'll let you drink in peace.” Holding up my own glass, I continued, “I just needed my own little night cap. I'll go now.”

Awkwardly, I started to leave, just now realizing that I had to maneuver around him to get away. When he didn't make any move to get out of my way, I paused to look up at him. “You don't have to go,” he told me.

“No. It's no problem. I really should try to get some more sleep,” I rambled, the desire to kiss him strong. The fear of rejection was the only thing keeping me from it.

“Please stay,” he pleaded. The vulnerability in his voice had me looking up at him, my confusion and desire peeking through to match his.

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