Page 37 of Their War

“So, whatever you're thinking now, know this. You are enough. You are more than we could have ever asked for. You represent hope and faith. None of it is something you thought about. All of it is simply just who you are.” He wiped another tear from my eye, our gazes glued to each other as he poured out his heart to me, and I knew he meant and believed every word he was speaking.

“But you don't have to bear this burden alone. You have your consorts to help you, protect you, to love you.” He paused to take a deep breath before continuing even more softly. “And you have me. I am here with you in whatever way you need me, in whatever capacity you'll have me.”

Swallowing past a thick lump in my throat, I slowly pushed up on my tip-toes, closing the distance between us further. As if moving in slow motion, our eyes never parting, I leaned into him, searching for a clue that he didn't want this.

What I saw instead captivated me. Unable to resist any longer, I kissed him. My mouth finding his in a press of lips meant to convey thanks and gratitude, lust not part of this equation. I could feel his devotion as he kissed me back, slowly and surely. My tongue darted out, seeking to deepen our connection, swiping along the seam of his lips. He opened for me, our tongues dancing briefly before he jerked back, separating from me brusquely.

Still reeling from the moment, I gazed at him confused. He stepped backward, running his hands through his hair before clearing his throat. “The others are back.”

Not waiting for a response, he became smoke, leaving me alone in the place that was his sanctuary to question what had just happened. Did I read that wrong? Did he not want me in that way?

His words had been so striking, moving me deeply, but alluding to something more. Surely, I hadn't made that great of an error in judgment? He wanted the same thing, right? After all, he had kissed me back, but was that just the heat of the moment? Our passions taking us further than he had intended?

Before I could ponder on those questions any further, Brannoc returned, the smoke clearing to reveal Callum and Baer. Unable to help myself, I rushed forward, wrapping my arms around Baer and hugging him tightly, needing the comfort he provided me after Brannoc had left me reeling. He chuckled at my enthusiasm, a tug along the bond, a question about my swirling emotions, the only indication that he knew how much I needed him. I shook my head against his chest in answer, not ready to say anything yet.

Baer pressed a kiss against my hair, and I allowed my eyes to close, soaking in his warmth and security as I tried to wrestle my emotions back into the box where they belonged.

“Come here, Trouble. Let me get one of those hugs,” Callum said, pulling me into his embrace and from Baer's arms just as I closed the lid on that box inside my mind.

“That's better,” he rumbled. Leaning down to speak softly in my ear, he said, “We were worried about you.” Through the bond, I could feel the pulse of uncertainty and fear that he was allowing me to feel. I smiled at the way he'd slowly been opening up to me, especially after our interlude with Lennox.

Pulling back, I teased him, “Oh ye of little faith. Surely, you'd have more faith than that in your future Queen?”

Snatching me back into him, he grumbled, “Oh I have something for my Queen, that's for sure, but I wouldn't call it faith.” His seductive words stoked the fire low in my belly.

Baer laughed freely. “If you two are going to have some fun, I would love to be invited to the party.” Letting me go, Callum smiled, the lascivious thoughts clear as day on his face.

Pulling back further, finally feeling slightly more settled, I couldn't help but notice the way Brannoc stood back, removed from us but watching everything we did. Turning back to Callum and Baer, I asked, “So what did y'all manage to find out?”

“Unfortunately, we didn't find out much. It seems that the fear among the lower fae is too great to be broken by a few beers. Although, Callum here imbibed his weight in ale, leaving him more likely to reveal secrets than our targets, as evidenced by the way he's looking at you now like you're the food to his starving body,” Baer said with a laugh.

“That explains why he's so cuddly all of a sudden,” I teased him, smiling.

“Hey! I am not cuddly.”

“Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself buddy. You’re just a big ol' teddy bear underneath it all. Apparently, all I needed to do was get you drunk to get you to show it.” I winked at him playfully.

Confusion crossed his face. “What's a teddy bear?”

Baer and I laughed loudly while Callum's frown only deepened at our reaction. As Baer explained that it was a stuffed toy, my gaze found Brannoc still standing apart from us. His expression was shuttered again, but shadows seemed to leak from him, undulating at his feet and sides. I wanted to kiss him again, to pull him into the group so he didn't have to stand on the outside, but guilt over kissing him without talking to the others first made me duck my head, hiding from him.

“The others are here,” he said coldly, drawing my attention back to his face. This time, the pain in his eyes threatened to send me to my knees. Frozen, I watched as he was swallowed by the darkness.

A gentle hand on my lower back had me jumping from staring at the spot that Brannoc had been, his eyes haunting me even though he'd already gone. “What's wrong?” Baer asked me.

Turning back to him, I rolled my shoulders as if I could physically shake off the guilt. I needed to tell them about it, but now was not the time. Now that Arryn and Lennox were back, we needed to focus on getting to Jude. Smiling, I begged Baer with my eyes not to push me. “Nothing that can't wait.”

“Are you sure?”

Nodding, I murmured a quick, “Yes,” as I placed a hand over his heart, pushing my own emotions back down again. “I'm fine.” He didn't believe me. We both knew he could feel what I was feeling, but thankfully, he left me to my own thoughts. Glancing at Callum, I caught a frown marring his face before he smiled broadly, his eyes now dancing with mischief.

“So, lass, you think I'm soft?”

“I didn't say that.”

“Is that not what a teddy bear is? A soft toy?” I laughed as he stalked closer. He snatched me around the waist, pulling me firmly up against him. I loved this side of him, more playful than I had ever seen from him. His smiles and laughter were a sweet balm to my soul after he'd withheld them for so long.

He nipped my ear, and his warm breath had me turning my neck and exposing the soft tissue for his attention. His nose ran the length of my neck with an inhale. “If you think I'm soft, I'll just have to show you how hard I get. How I like to push the envelope of pain and pleasure, to bring you to the edge and then take that which you desire away. To keep you from the pinnacle until I'm ready for you to soar.”

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