Page 60 of Their War

“I'm not even sure where to start,” I whispered back, nuzzling into his neck as he wrapped his arms around me. I liked it here, in his embrace. I'd had sex before. Sex was simple and usually without attachments. This was new. Cuddling up to someone just because you wanted to be next to them. Touching someone else for reasons other than violence and sexuality. Wanting to have him hold me because I needed the comfort and reassurance was uncharacteristic and new for me.

“Understandable. You've had a lot go on in the last couple of weeks, much less days. Wanna talk about it?” Nox's arms tightened around me, and I caught the glances of the other guys. Everyone but Brannoc that is.

“Go. We'll catch you up when we're done here. There's still a lot to cover, and I'm sure you need rest,” Arryn said.

Looking at him, I was glad for the reprieve. “If you're sure?”

“I'm sure.” I felt him pluck at our bond, gauging its connection. “You're awake, but the connection is still weak. You'll need more rest to ensure your magic is at full force, which is imperative if we're to undertake this mission.”

“Okay,” I said, a yawn forcing itself from my mouth as if just the thought of sleep was enough to draw me down into the dark abyss. Standing, I turned to Lennox. “You coming?”

“If you want me there,” he said, his eyes hopeful, before glancing to the guys for their approval as well.

I glared at them, not happy that he was looking to them. If I wanted to spend time with someone, it was my business, not theirs. “I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you there,” I snapped, taking out some of my frustrations on Lennox. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself. There was too much uncertainty and anxiety gnawing on my gut for me to censor myself.

These emotions and feelings were great, but my instincts kept me on edge. If something sounded too good to be true, then it usually was. My brain struggled to let me just be, and instead, I was on high alert while I waited for something to go wrong. Logically, I knew that it was my own insecurities, but I couldn’t stop myself from lashing out. My temper was getting the best of me and doing its damndest to convince me that this was not reality. Maybe one day I would be able to relax into what these men were offering me freely. Until then, I feared I would continue to snap at them.

Instead of losing his own temper and retorting like he had every right to, he just laughed. “Easy, Princess. I'm coming.”

“Not yet he's not.” I heard Baer joke playfully under his breath, earning laughter from the others.

I couldn't help the smile that graced my face. There was nothing better than watching the guys teasing each other, building a camaraderie. Walking off, I called over my shoulder, “He definitely won't be if he keeps dawdling.”

Even louder laughter followed me as I heard Nox rushing after me, smiling as he slung an arm over my shoulder. “If you keep that up, I'll just have to make you wait as punishment. So impatient, Princess.”

“That's if you can even keep up,” I teased him as we entered my room.

“Oh, is that how little you think of me?” His lips found the back of my neck as he kicked the door closed, his arms wrapping around me. Large hands cupped my breasts, a moan escaping as I leaned backward into him.

“It's been too long. I've got to make sure I keep you on your toes,” I breathed out between gasps as he ground his hardness into my backside, his hands still working their magic.

“Is that a challenge?” he asked, deft fingers finding the hem of my shirt to pull it off swiftly before he kissed down my neck to my shoulder.

Just as I was about to respond, two fingers pinched my nipple, dragging a loud gasp from my throat. “Only if you want it to be,” I said between moans as he switched to the other nipple.

I pushed my ass back into his erection, grinding myself against him and eliciting a groan from him. His hands found my hips, gripping them hard enough to leave bruises, holding me still against him. “As you said earlier, it's been a few days, and I don't want to disappoint, Princess.”

He turned me around to face him, his tongue lapping across my collarbone, occasionally stopping to suck the skin hard enough to leave reddened bruises behind, marking me. “After all, you have no idea how hard it is to feel your pleasure through the bond...”

He kissed between my breasts, his hands removing my bra as if second nature for him. “...to hear your moans of pleasure through the thin walls...”

As he made his way down to my navel, he dipped his tongue inside and swirled it, imitating what his plans were for when he reached his final destination. My breaths heaved in and out in anticipation as I waited for him to finish his thought. “...to know that someone else is bringing you the pleasure that I am desperate to give you.”

His hands found the hem to my pants, his fingers hooking into the waistband and tugging my underwear and pants down to my ankles. He lifted one foot and then the other, causing me to place my hands on his head to steady myself as he left me completely bare before him.

Pausing, he gazed up at me from his position on his knees, sitting back on his heels. His eyes tracked up from my feet, to my core, my breasts, and then finally met my eyes. “Gorgeous,” he whispered reverently. “Everything I could have wanted and more.”

While his words pleased me, I couldn't help the twinge of sadness and fear that gripped me. “Even if I may no longer look like this after the glamor is removed?” My words were barely more than a whisper as I held my breath waiting for his answer.

Standing, he gripped my chin harshly. “Your beauty is not the shape of your body, though it’s pleasing to look at. Your beauty comes from inside,” he took my hand and placed it over his heart, “Where I feel you and you feel me. Your fire, warmth, kindness, and generosity. It's the way you give of yourself, never asking for anything in return. It's the way you act because it's the right thing to do, without any thought for the consequences for yourself.”

His lips found mine, teasing at the seam and then his tongue tangled with mine briefly before withdrawing again. “I would love your beauty in any shape because my love is for the woman you are, not what you look like.”

He knelt down on the floor before me, kissing one hip and then the other before continuing. “I love everything about you, Rhowyn, and that will never change. My heart is yours until the end of time.”

I sobbed loudly at his words, tears running down my face. How did he always bring me to such extreme emotions when we were alone? How had he known exactly what I needed to hear? And though a traitorous part of me wanted to deny that he meant the words, that he said them just to please me, a bigger part knew he meant them. All I had to do was search the bond that connected him and I. It rang true with each of his words. The only part that was in denial was the part of me that feared losing him. A defense mechanism that was trying to keep my feet planted on the ground, although all I wanted to do was to soar into the clouds of love with him.

Choosing to ignore that part of myself, to embrace this moment and deny the fear within me, I put a hand on his cheek. “I love you too, Nox. Forever.”

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