Page 34 of Their Trials

I sighed and took a deep drink, savoring the burn of the whiskey and letting it settle and focus me. Callum shut the door to Rhowyn's room softly and crossed the room to join me. He poured his own drink, swallowing it all quickly before pouring a second one.

He took one of the chairs and sat with his second drink in hand. “I assume you'll be wanting to debrief.” He directed his statement to me.

I nodded my head at him. “You'd be correct.”

Topping off my drink, I also took my seat to wait for Lennox to return. We'd debrief, and then we could eat before each getting much needed rest. Our magic would replenish slowly without those things, so the sooner we could accomplish them, the better. If I knew anything, it was that we always needed to be prepared. Life had a way of throwing things at you when you least expected it.

As if my thoughts had summoned him, Lennox entered the suite, empty handed. At my questioning look, he answered, “Juniper will be bringing things along shortly and will help us with Rhowyn.”

“Good.” I gestured to the couch with my free hand. “Come sit. We've much to discuss.”

Lennox took his seat next to Baer, the silence becoming malignant between us all. I sighed again, taking a drink before beginning. Sometimes, I felt too old for all of this.

“Okay. Although I'm sure we don't want to bring up what happened with the Ankou, I feel we must clear the air.” I began the discussion. That encounter had done more damage than we could have prepared for and repairing it would take time we didn't have.

“What's there to discuss?” Callum said gruffly. “We all spoke the truth. It needed to be said.”

My eyes darted to Lennox, who sat there with his head and shoulders bowed, as if weighed down by something heavy. I could only guess that it was guilt. “Maybe so, but I'm sure there's still some regret from us all about how we went about voicing our issues. I know there is on my end.” I hoped that my confession would get them all to voice theirs.

Callum drained his drink again and rose to get a refill. Not facing us, he said in a clear, low voice, “While what I said may have been the truth and what I had felt, I shouldn't have gone about it the way I did.”

Surprised that Callum would be the first to open up and admit his faults, I waited silently for the others to chime in. My eyes drifted to each of them, each of them hiding in their own ways.

“It certainly was unpleasant to watch,” Baer said, joining in finally, his hand still rubbing along his sternum. It was a reminder that he hadn't been affected by the Ankou, for which I was thankful. However, I wasn't sure why he wasn't, a question to be answered after we had addressed the rift between Callum and Lennox.

“Lennox?” I prompted him to join us after we sat in silence for several minutes. Each minute that passed pressed down on us all, making speaking up and being honest even more difficult.

“What do you want me to say? I didn't say anything I regret.” He snapped back at me like a wounded dog might.

And that was the crux of the matter. The words had destroyed him, and I needed to stabilize him before the next trial. Like a wound that was bleeding, I needed to staunch the flow before I could go about healing him. Though, with a wound like this, it wasn’t something that my magic could resolve. “No. You did not,” I agreed with him. “However, you were greatly affected by some of the things said.”

Callum sighed before taking another drink. His shoulders were slightly raised and curled in, his focus on the liquid in his glass, but every inch of him was attuned to Lennox. I glared at him, but he thankfully remained silent. For once, he was smart enough to hold his tongue to keep from making the situation worse.

“So, what if I was? It was all true. I am responsible for what happened to Callum. Nothing I can do will ever change that,” he snapped, his hands grabbing his dark hair and pulling on it.

Carefully, I continued on. He was so close to the edge, and I didn't want to lose him. One wrong word, one misstep would send him falling into an abyss that no one would be able to pull him out of. “No. We can't change the past,” I admitted, hedging on the truth and unsure of how to proceed. I racked my brain for the right words to console him, unable to find any. I was at a complete loss.

Callum stomped over with a fresh glass of whiskey and sat roughly in his seat near Lennox. Each of his muscles was corded, the veins raised by the tension running through him. He was restraining himself. Barely. “It wasn't really your fault.”

I sat there, almost holding my breath, knowing they needed to resolve this on their own, thankful that Callum was stepping up. My gaze traveled his face, studying him as I searched for the thoughts he kept locked behind an impenetrable fortress. The only way inside was if he let us in.

“I know that you were manipulated by your mother. It was all her fault. It's just been easier to blame you for everything,” Callum admitted, cradling his glass in both hands, his forearms resting on his knees, and his head bowed as if searching for the answers in his drink. His previous tension had deflated him, as if by letting out these words, he had also let go of the thing that had sustained him for so long.

“I should have known she'd get the truth from me. I should have avoided her. I should have done something. Anything. But I didn't. I sat by while she destroyed your life,” Lennox pleaded with him. His eyes watered at his admission, his guilt eating him from the inside out. He had wallowed in his remorse for so long, I feared that he wouldn’t ever let it go. It had become a part of him, and if he released it, forgave himself, then what did he have left?

“And what could you have done? I was the one who told you,” Callum snapped at Lennox, glaring at him as Lennox continued to blame himself. “She's more powerful than both of us. It's why I blamed you because if I placed the blame where it truly belonged, then I'd have to admit that I was powerless against her. That there was nothing I could do. At least I knew I could hurt you. I blamed you because you were an easy target.”

Lennox inhaled sharply, his eyes watering at Callum's admission, a tear falling down his face, nose reddening with emotion. Baer and I were silent as these two started the road to forgiveness. Forgiveness for themselves and each other. Neither of us dared to make a sound, to do anything to disrupt this process. We could do nothing except bear witness to their turmoil and misery.

“I'm sorry I blamed you for all those years,” Callum said, so softly that I almost didn't hear him. This wasn't easy for him. Letting go and moving his wrath to the real culprit. He'd coped the best way he knew how, but now it was time to grow up and accept the reality of the situation.

Lennox smiled sadly. “Thanks. I just wish I could forgive myself as easily.”

“You think that was easy?” Callum snarled at him, his temper starting to get the best of him.

“I'm sure he didn't...” I tried to intervene, to keep the conversation civil and productive, but I was interrupted.

“No. This isn't easy for any of us. I just know that our Chosen needs us. That includes being at our best, and right now, we aren't. I can see how you feel about her, Lennox. If you truly cared for her, you'd get your shit together and stop blaming yourself for something you couldn't change,” Callum chastised.

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