“I didn't want to burden you with a life you could never have. You needed to believe you were human to fit in. And what good would knowing have done you? You couldn't do anything about it. We couldn't go back, not without significant risk,” she explained.
“I have to be honest, Mom; I'm having a hard time believing all of this. You've gotta understand how unreal it all sounds. I feel this is an elaborate delusion, and it has me worried for you. I'm not sure of how best to move forward with all of this information.”
A calm confidence settled over my mother as she took a slow drink of her water. A small smile graced her face, which made her seem younger in this moment than it had in years. “I would expect nothing less. In fact, if you didn't question or have trouble believing me, I’d be more concerned. But Rhowyn, I believe you're forgetting something important, the very thing that started this whole conversation. You now have the Mark of the Chosen.”
She was right. I had no other explanation for what had caused my pain and gave me this mark on my shoulder. No amount of logic could brush that fact away. “What does that mean?” I asked her, needing clarification.
“You have been marked as a Chosen, one of the fae selected by the lands to compete in the trials to be the next queen. Which means, you will have to travel to Avalon,” she said simply, as if this statement didn't just blow up my world.
“What!?! No. No, I can't leave. I have way too much here, people who are counting on me. My students need me, Mom. I can't abandon them like everyone else in their lives. It would destroy them. How do we stop it? How do I turn down these trials?” I was well aware that I was now the one sounding crazy, but I had no other explanation for my mark, and just the thought of leaving my kids terrified me.
“I was never a master of magic, only having a middling ability myself, so I'm not sure if there is a way to refuse the mark and the honor. I do know you won't get those answers from here. You'll need to go to Avalon to get them. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I suggest that you prepare your students for your absence.” It was my mom’s turn to placate me and offer support. Just another thing that felt so surreal.
“How, Mom? What do I tell them? How long will I be gone?” I bombarded her with questions as my mind swirled with the implications of what she was telling me.
“I wish I could say. I've never had the privilege of witnessing the trials. The last one took place three hundred years before I was born.”
“Okay. Maybe I can tell the students that I’m needed out of state to care for a non-existent grandmother and that I'm not sure when I will return,” I said more to myself as the wheels turned too quickly for me to focus on anything else at the moment. “Wait.” I stopped pacing, turning back to face my mom, who was still sitting in her chair, finishing her dinner. “You mean to tell me the Queen is at least three hundred years old? How's that possible?”
“I believe she's closer to nine hundred and sixty years old now, give or take a few decades. She was rather old to be Chosen for the trials, which was surprising at the time, but she was only considered middle aged at the time.” I gawked at her, unable to comprehend this new information. She continued, oblivious to my shock. “Fae age differently than humans. Once you reach maturity, you age much more slowly and can live for almost two-thousand years.”
I sat down in my chair suddenly, not sure how I would process all this information, but somehow, in my gut, I started to believe her. I wasn't sure how to proceed from here, but I had a feeling I wouldn't get much of a choice. Without even trying, I had wound up so far over my head that I didn't even know which way was up anymore.
Chapter Four: Lennox
Voices droned in the near distance, humming under my skin as if the buzz from my drink could be heard outside of my body. I knew this wasn't the case. No matter how much honey wine I consumed, I could never escape my destiny or birthright. And if there was ever any hint of me trying to escape them, the court was always quick to remind me that I couldn’t. I walked toward all the voices, knowing that if I didn't make my entrance soon, I would be made to regret my avoidance. I reached the doors, which stood three times my height at least, oversized and ostentatious, just like everything else in this castle. Taking a deep breath, I donned my mask, figuratively and literally. After all, it was a masquerade that awaited me beyond the threshold, an excuse for indulgence in all things as we all pretended not to recognize each other.
My mask in place and my constitution solidified, I nodded to the attendants my readiness as they swung both doors wide, the weight slowing down the motion. Once the doors parted wide enough to be acceptable, I strolled forward, conveying an air of indifference and boredom as my name and title were announced to the awaiting audience. While everyone else got to enjoy the anonymity, the royal family always had to flaunt their superiority and importance, lest the people forget whom they serve.
The glittering from jewels on gowns, glassware in hands, and precious metals being flaunted reflected the soft lighting as everyone turned to pay respect, bowing and curtsying as I entered. I gave my signature smile, the devil-may-care one, that had girls chasing me and guys hoping for the chance to join my circle, knowing that it hid my true feelings. In all actuality, I would have given anything to end this numbness that seemed to shroud itself over everything I did, thought, or felt. I learned early on that no one wanted to know how I truly felt, and that revealing myself would only leave me vulnerable. But it seemed this was my destiny; to forever be on parade, always waiting and preparing for the knife in my back.
Through the crowd, standing on the dais in front of her throne, I spotted my mother watching me and waiting. I never really knew if she was waiting for me to claim my destiny or to fail miserably, but it always seemed that I left her wanting. Which was apt since I always found my own self lacking. For what, maybe I would never know, but the feeling was there all the same. Not wanting her to have a reason to punish me, I headed down the staircase, the crowd parting for me as I ended the current waiting game. As I passed the courtiers gathered, I heard the whispers, my hearing sharper than they all knew. Not their fault I learned a long time ago to hold my cards close to my chest and ensure that no one ever knew what to expect from me. That way no one could ever hurt me.
Through the whispers which floated all around me, I kept my smirk in place. It wouldn't do to ever let anyone see my true face; the emptiness scarier than anything my mother could threaten. It terrified me, and I lived with a monster, which made me wonder sometimes if I was broken just like everything else she touched. Now that concept wouldn't surprise me at all. At the bottom of the dais, I bowed to my mother who expected complete and utter obedience from everyone, even her son and consorts. At her nod, I rose and walked the few steps up to her. “Mother,” I said in greeting.
“Lennox.” Her eyes studied me, making sure my appearance met her standards and the image she wanted to project. She wouldn't find a single hair out of place; I could get that much right at least.
“Any later and I would have had to call for Callum to collect you. Now that you've finally arrived, we can begin.” She left the threat hanging in the air, knowing that I didn't want Callum in her presence any more than he already had to be. As my former best friend, I was partly responsible for his current situation, which ate away at me. Something she knew very well, the only weakness I had ever shown her. I certainly didn’t need her constant reminders.
I nodded in deference as she turned to the crowd, pushing those thoughts away. She made eye contact with the performers, which was all it took to silence the music and cued those gathered to fall quiet. Each fae in attendance knew the price for anything otherwise. Our full dungeons evident to all those in attendance just how quickly her generous mood could turn. No one dared to give her a reason to draw her focus, much less her ire. Taking my place behind her and to the right, I watched while her four consorts moved behind and to the left. We would never give any appearance that we thought ourselves equal to the might of the Queen.
“Lords and Ladies, I want to thank each of you for joining us tonight for this momentous occasion.” Mother began her show where she acted the part of a gracious and humble host while everyone played along. “We gather here this evening to undergo the sacred rite of passage, that of The Choosing. Now, each of you knows what an honor it is to witness such a sacred rite, so I ask that everyone treat it as such.” She paused to allow her threat to sink in. The courtiers all bowed their heads in acknowledgment, the silence deafening in contrast to the noise from earlier. Not a soul dared to even cough or sneeze in fear that it would be seen as an affront.
Mother turned slightly and gestured behind her as her ice blue gown swirled around her ankles. “Please welcome, Master Jude, our head priest who will perform the ceremony tonight.” As we all turned to the door she gestured to, that same door opened, an attendant holding the door wide for Master Jude to walk through it, followed by his priests who would be assisting him in the ceremony.
He moved assuredly to the altar that had already been set up before the arrival of all the guests, its final resting spot now in front of the dais on full display for everyone present. Once he reached the altar, he turned to face us. “Thank you, Your Majesty. Tonight is indeed a momentous occasion; one we have not been looking forward to as we have all enjoyed the prosperous bounties that you have blessed us all with during your reign. We can only hope that the new prospects chosen tonight by sacred rite and by the land itself are half as gracious and wise as you have proven yourself to be.”
I fought to keep from rolling my eyes. We all knew that we had been simply biding our time for this day in hopes that our new queen would be less ruthless and blood thirsty. My mother's reign was littered with bodies and tarnished by all the blood she had shed to maintain ultimate control over all those who called themselves Fae. Barely successful in maintaining my now stoic expression, I was careful not to show the relief that the long-awaited time had come for a transfer of power. I didn't dare to fully hope that things would be any better with a new queen, since in my experience, ultimate power corrupted even the most generous and honorable souls. I had seen it time and again, how easy it was to wield fear in order to gain your heart's desires. I had even used it myself to keep all others away from me.
Maintaining her demeanor of a humble queen, Mother dipped her own head in response to Master Jude. “It has truly been my honor and pleasure to serve the Fae of Avalon. It is also my wish that I have the joy of mentoring the new queen and her consorts. A task of this magnitude, that of ruling Avalon in a fair and honest way, cannot be expected to happen overnight. It must require a learning period, which I look forward to assisting the new Chosen with all the adjustments she must undergo as she ascends the throne.” She turned and now addressed those in attendance. “It is my wish that as my loyal subjects, you will allow the new queen a grace period, as she will no doubt need it, to ensure a smooth transition of power. I expect each and every one of you to treat the new queen with the same respect that you have given me.”
I never had been able to determine why she insisted on this false facade when every single one of us loyal subjects knew the truth. That she wouldn't even hesitate to put me down, her own son, should I ever give the appearance of challenging her. Despite being a Lord in my own right and raised here in the castle, I had never been privy to her thoughts or reasons. As murmurs of assent and agreement to her statement resounded, she nodded at Master Jude to continue. Though no one dared speak it aloud, we all recognized the ploy as an attempt to maintain power for as long as she could.
My attention switched to the altar, now set up with tools and ingredients to assist with the magic that would be performed shortly. I watched as the priests continued to place bowls and cups in a row, all things that were needed for the consort selection that would immediately follow. They poured a thick liquid from a pitcher into each cup. It was said that the water came from the heart of Avalon itself, the pure waters used to assist Avalonia in her magic. They then combined dried leaves from several different plants before distributing it among the bowls. Finally, little brushes were placed beside each grouping, to be used later.
Master Jude raised his hands, palms up, the sleeves of his robe sliding up his arms to reveal weathered and wrinkled skin to match his silvered hair. As one of the oldest fae still living, he held a place of honor among us outside of his appointment. His wisdom was world renowned, and many sought the honor of being blessed by him and Avalonia as they received his words upon their hearts. I couldn't help the hope that his presence brought, hope that the ceremony wouldn't be twisted by my mother completely. I squashed it down as much as I could, reminding myself that someone of his wisdom and age knew the fruitless endeavor it would be to try to thwart whatever will she had expressed to him. I knew her well enough to know that she had already spoken with him, the threat unspoken but there all the same, about what she expected from tonight's ceremonies. She had a plan; of that, I was always certain.
“I know that many of you here tonight have never before witnessed the rite that will take place in a short while. With help from my priests, I will begin the ceremony to select our new Chosen. Upon completion, those who are Chosen will know who they are. I ask that you then approach the altar where I will solidify the choosing with another rite. This next one will be to select the four consorts that are destined for you, linking them to you forever. At the end of the ceremonies, I request that every Chosen and Consort stay here in Cashel Rí so that we can begin to prepare you all for the trials which will determine our new queen as selected by Avalonia.