Page 32 of Bound to Him

“It’s not that bad. You and I go to these types of things all of the time, and this one is populated with enough family, friends and business associates that small talk is easy.”

“For you, perhaps.” Sebastian pushed away from the wall and drained his glass. “It’s not the venue or the people that I find intolerable. It’s the effusive well-wishing. People seem to be endlessly fascinated to hear the details of our courting. As if they all don’t know this is a sham in one form or another. How can they not see that our marriage is a business transaction?” The flash of a camera caught his attention. “And paparazzi welcomed in instead of chased off? Christ, what a circus!” He was surprised at the bitterness in his own voice.

How did I end up in this ridiculous situation and why am I so mad?

“Oh, it’s not that bad. And it’s almost over. Forty-eight hours from now, give or take, you and I will be free to do as we like. I’m sure you’re keen on spending the next two weeks in that villa you rented. And I have plans of my own.” Will looked out over the dance floor.

Sebastian followed his fiancé’s gaze. “I take it the Honorable Serena Bishop will be lingering behind when the other guests leave?”

Will gave him a wolfish grin. “You wouldn’t believe how flexible that woman is. And she works in London so we’ll have time to enjoy each other even after we return from this honeymoon.”

The tawdriness of it all was revolting. “People will notice. People will talk.”

“In the immortal words of the Duchess of Devonshire, let them talk. What do I care?”

The man had a point. What others perceived of their marriage was of no account. No one would dare say anything to their faces. All the talk would be behind hands and in those loathsome gossip columns. And when the children came and eventually realized that their fathers didn’t love each other…that was no different than what happened with others of their social circle. He was sure his own parents weren’t devoted to each other in a sentimental way. They undoubtedly had affairs…although he had no wish to know for sure.

“I’m getting another drink and will give this one more hour. But I’ll make my own excuses so that you don’t have to.”

Will grabbed his arm before he could leave. He leaned in to speak softly in his ear. Anyone seeing them probably mistook it for some kind affection. “Lighten up, Sebastian. It’s not as if you’re giving up the love of your life for this marriage. It’s not as if you’re giving up anything, really.” He stepped away and smiled brightly just as someone snapped a picture of them.

Sebastian looked into his empty glass, not even trying to show a sign of happiness. It was all he could do to stop from shouting in the middle of the room, are you not amused? “No. You’re right about that. I’m not giving up a damned thing, especially love.” Even as he agreed, however, there was a part of him that doubted the truth of it.

* * * *

Sebastian was careful not to get drunk at his own party, tempting as it had been. He didn’t want to get married hungover, squinting from the Tuscany sun and sweating out bourbon.

It had taken well over an hour simply to make the rounds and say his goodnights personally, as he’d promised Will he would do. Stepping out into the cool night air had been a physical and emotional relief. One of the chauffeurs hired for the wedding whisked him away and dropped him off at the rented villa. Because he could hear Parker’s voice coming from the back, he walked around the house to the pool area. There he found his boy on his knees, not to give a blow job but to dangle a feathered toy in front of the cat that had come with the villa. Parker had been delighted to learn of that fact and had started playing with the orange tabby before Sebastian had left. He’d been glad the boy would have something to do while waiting for him to return.

Now, Sebastian envied the cat, wanted to nudge it away so that he could play with Parker himself. He couldn’t make his feet move, however. He remained stuck to the fringes of the shrubbery, watching his slave’s face in the unguarded moment. Here was the true Parker—not someone very different than the one the boy presented to him normally, but it was still lovely to see that circumstances hadn’t forced Parker into conveying disingenuous happiness.

Parker giggled as the cat batted at the toy. The sound washed over Sebastian, calming his frayed nerves. His heart did a slow roll that forced him to face a reality that had been pushing its way into his mind for weeks now. I love him. A few months ago, he’d bought a debt slave to fill a need without the expectation of emotional strings attached, without risking the inevitable drama of yet another break-up. He’d been stupid to think he could live his life that way, to believe that sex and companionship would never lead to love. Parker had broken through the wall he’d built around him. Unlike any of his other relationships, the intimacy of the sex had led to first affection, then more. Parker was a part of him now and he couldn’t imagine a future without him. It wasn’t a matter of five years. He wanted the boy in his life forever. By his side. In the light. Not something dirty and hidden in the shadows.

Turning on his heel, Sebastian quietly returned to the front of the villa. He pulled out his phone and called the chauffeur and told the man to turn around. On the ride back to the Emerson villa, he formulated his plan. It was risky. He might lose everything, and all for a boy whose feelings he didn’t know. Parker might spurn the offer Sebastian was going to make, especially after he found out that their living circumstances might diminish to a very large degree. No, that was a stupid worry. Parker had needed money to clear his father’s debts, not because money was important to him, personally. As long as the debt remained cleared—and it would—he couldn’t imagine that the boy who showed such innocent appreciation for everything Sebastian did for him or gave to him would leave because the luxury would take a hit.

The bigger problem was that unless and until Parker stopped being a debt slave, any feelings he professed or promises he made to Sebastian could not be trusted. Parker was honorable. He’d made a commitment and would stick with it no matter what, even if it meant agreeing to a man and a life he didn’t truly want. It would eat away at Sebastian if he thought Parker stayed with him out of a sense of duty. He wanted the boy to make a life with him because they loved each other. Although it tied his stomach in knots, he had to accept that the only way to have Parker for real was to first let him go.

When he arrived back at the Emerson villa, he was uncharacteristically nervous, yet determined to do what he’d come to do. The crowd of revelers had thinned out to a few stragglers. There were always those who never left a party until the sun came up even if it meant returning for a noon wedding. Still, it was easy to avoid them by slipping in through a side door near the kitchen. As luck would have it, he found Milo walking by. The sight of his friend, someone truly on his side, bolstered his courage.

Sebastian grabbed his friend’s arm, careful not to dislodge the glass of juice he carried. “Milo, thank God. I need you.”

His friend gave him a hard look. “I thought you left already? I mean, I know you had a lot of people to get through, but still…”

Sebastian tugged the man into a recess in the wall. “I did leave, but now I’m back. And the fireworks I’m about to light are going to be spectacular. I could use a friend by my side.”

A gleam came into Milo’s eyes. “Damn, son, are you calling off the wedding?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” Saying it out loud confirmed it was the right call.

“Now, that is something I don’t want to miss. And I’m just going to say I’ve never been more proud to be your friend. Let me get this up to Daphne. Nursing makes her thirsty and she wanted juice, not water.”

“You’ll find us in the sitting room on the second floor. The one with all of the red and gold?”

“I know it.” Milo started to leave, then stopped. “We still get to stay the weekend, though, right?”

Sebastian gave that some thought. This whole thing was going to be messy. “I’ll put you up in a hotel. And fly you back home separately from my parents.”

Milo nodded once. “That works.”

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