Page 24 of The Awakening

“Smart. So, what’s the plan for the extraction?” Arno asks, rubbing his hand through his hair. There is a long pause in the room, Dean and Everett not making eye contact with me. My blood starts to boil with the silence and the lack of communication they’re giving me.

“What is it?” I say louder than I meant to. Time is ticking and we have no more extra time at this point. Colson has been suffering for far too long and without us, he’s as good as dead. Everett lets out a long breath, closing his eyes and rubbing his hand down his face.

“We’ve been discussing possible options, however...” he stops, rolling his head to the side and cracking his neck.

“Out with it, mate,” Arno says, waving his hand at Everett in a rushing motion. The expression Everett gives Arno could quite possibly kill if he stares at him long enough.

“What he’s trying to say is, we’ve got a plan, but it’s far too risky,” Dean speaks up from beside me. I turn to face him, raising my eyebrows and waiting to hear this “far too risky” plan of theirs.

“For fuck's sake, spit it out, mate,” Arno stands from his chair, frustration etched across his face.

“We send in a decoy of our own, play them at their own game,” Everett finally says. Glancing down at the floor, I ponder what he means. Sending in a decoy, meaning sending in Everett who will pretend to be his twin brother Callum. It’s smart, yes, they would never see it coming. To play one in their own game, switching the chess pieces and scrambling their playing board. I can’t say I hate the idea, but yes, it is very risky. Sending anyone into that compound alone once again, let alone Everett for the second time, is not something I feel comfortable with. I can’t see my guys being hurt any more than they already have. This is my family, my dream of having blood relatives and my own selfish desires landed all three of them in their own personal hell. No, I won’t let that happen anymore.

Leaning back on the sofa, I close my eyes tight and try to think of a plan that eliminates the possibility of anyone else getting hurt, captured, tortured, or possibly killed. No one dies because of me. This is my fight, my war, my revenge. I sit up abruptly, an idea flooding my system.

“I’ve got an idea,” I say to the room. All eyes are on me as my breathing picks up in nervous excitement at what I’m about to say. No one is going to like this, and if I’m able to convince them to go along with this plan, it will be a fucking miracle. I take in a deep breath before looking at each of them one more time before speaking again.

“How about we send me in, give them what they want most? Blind them with the prize, giving you enough time to get Colson out.”

“Absolutely fucking not!” Dean yells from beside me, standing up and balling his fists by his side.

I expected that reaction.

Has she lost her ever-loving mind? For her to even think we would let her just walk into the largest organized crime family and offer herself up for slaughter, is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. I’m fuming, my skin feels like it’s on fire, and my palms are starting to hurt by how hard I’m squeezing my fists. No, I already lost my brother for the past six months because of this psychotic family. I’m not losing the only woman I’ve ever loved to these monsters.

Sloan has come a long way. She’s strong, cunning, and so fucking smart, but with someone like Cara, I can’t ensure her safety within the confines of the compound. I won’t allow this; I can’t lose her. Not now, not ever.

Looking at Everett, I notice he has yet to say a word. His cool demeanor not giving anything away. He narrows his eyes at me, his eyebrows pinched ever so slightly together as if he is actually entertaining this idea.

“Well, mate, speak up. Tell her this idea is nothing more than an idea. We’ll not allow this.” His eyes shift to Sloan, his lip curling up as if he wants to hate the idea, but something is brewing in his own mind. “Everett, don’t you fucking dare think about it!” I bark at him, stretching my arms to the side in disbelief.

“Dean, I agree with you. I don’t like it either. But—” I point a finger at him, cutting him off.

“No, no buts, Everett, this is insane, and you know it. How can you sit there and even for one second think that sending our girl into hell would be a good idea? You were there, my friend. You saw and felt what they are capable of, and don’t think just because she’s a woman they would take it easy on her. If you’re really thinking this is a good idea, why don’t you take a look at this.” Pulling my shirt over my head, I turn my back to him, showing him the evidence of the destruction they are capable of. My back is riddled with scars; some are still bright red with freshly regenerated skin. That was my punishment most of the time while we were imprisoned there. I was whipped over and over again until the pain became too much for my brain and body to process. I would soon slip away into the peace of being absent from my own body and fall unconscious.

I drop my shirt to the floor and glare at my girl. She, however, is not looking up at me. She is still seated on the sofa, her head lowered to the floor, hiding her face from the darkness that is me. I stomp out of the room, not wanting to say something I would surely regret. Heading towards the staircase, I take two at a time until I’m standing in front of Colson’s room. His door is open, everything still where it was before we were captured. We’ve not changed a thing. His bed, dresser, lounge chair, everything sits where it sat the last time he was here.

My chest becomes so tight I feel as though I can’t breathe. I finally unclench my fists, blood rushing back to each one of my fingers. I lift them to my face, rubbing my shaved head with both hands. They’re shaking, as is the rest of my body. Anger, fear, heartache, my emotions are so jumbled up, it’s as though I’m looking through a kaleidoscope.

I always knew this life we’ve been tossed into would be our undoing. I knew we would never live forever; something would inevitably go wrong, leaving one of us trapped or dead. I just always hoped it would be me instead of either of my brothers. The thought of living a life without one of them is too hard for me to process. A life without my brothers is a life not worth living in my mind. But then there is Sloan. A literal angel sent from the heavens to show me life is more than just bloodshed. She’s the light.

No, she will not be thrown to the wolves as a distraction for us to get Colson out. There are too many uncertainties and room for errors. I’m absolutely sure I would not be able to live a single moment without her. I won’t risk it. Call me selfish, but when you’re given a savior from above, you protect her at all costs, and I know Colson would say the same.

I don’t hear her footsteps; I don’t even hear her approach me, so when she wraps her arms around my back, resting her hands on my chest, I flinch at the sudden contact. Her delicate hands are so small they barely cover my pecs. Her soft touch is warm against my skin, and I close my eyes. Sloan has this power of calming me down without having to say or actually do anything. Her touch alone brings me tranquility, and whatever darkness that was swirling around my head suddenly vanishes.

“I can do this, Dean. I’m not the same girl you rescued that day. Let me help, let me bring him home to us. You’ve taught me so much. Let me prove it to you.” Her words are a dagger to my heart. I know she can do this; I know how hard she’s been training, and I have no doubt she can accomplish anything that’s placed before her. But I can’t lose her.

“Baby girl, I can’t—” My voice shakes, and I suck in a deep breath, calming the war that’s starting to brew inside once again. “If anything were to happen to you, I wouldn’t be able to walk this earth knowing you’re no longer here with me. You’re not just my girl, Sloan. You’re the air inside my lungs, the blood pumping in my heart, you’re my whole existence.” I turn to face her, her hands falling from my chest as I turn to see tears forming in her eyes. Cupping her face, I rest my forehead on hers.

“A life without you is a life I don’t want to live.”

I close my eyes as Dean pulls me to his lips, kissing me with so many unspoken words. He’s scared, I can feel it. The thought of losing me to the monsters that tortured him is more than he can bear. Dean’s love is palpable, his touch giving away just how much I mean to him. Love is just a word; I’ve always found it silly to say a four-letter word to someone to describe the intense emotion I’m feeling from within. Rather than say such a small, simple word, I would rather have someone show me their love, and vice versa.

That’s how Dean shows me his feelings for me. Dean’s slowly pulling our bodies into Colson’s room, our lips never leaving one another’s. Standing at the end of the bed, I’m suddenly spun around until the backs of my legs are up against the mattress. He continues to devour me, his hands roaming every inch of my body. As I go to wrap my arms around his neck, he pulls away. The warmth of his lips leave mine, and the sudden absence of his body leaves me wobbling on my feet.

His hand wipes down his face, the internal conflict of our conversation downstairs raging war inside his mind.

“You’re not going, Sloan. I won’t let you throw yourself to the lions for Colson, for Everett, for me. I can’t allow them to hurt you.” Dean’s voice is stern, his tone low and deep. As he speaks, he begins to pace the room in front of me.

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