Page 5 of The Awakening

“It looks like Colson had been keeping a journal assigned to him by the therapist,” Dean says nothing more, allowing Everett to connect the dots. Taking the journal, he looks up at Dean.

“Where did you find this?”

“I found it in his nightstand a moment ago,” I answer before Dean. Everett then begins flipping through the journal, stopping to skim the contents of the small book before finally closing it and tossing it to the island. The journal makes a loud slap as it lands on the granite countertop, making me flinch at the sudden noise.

“He knew the policy. Why would he risk it, risk all our safety by bringing it here?” It’s the question we’re all thinking.

“Have you read it?” Everett glances over his shoulder, awaiting my answer.

“Only the first entry. He wrote how he was told by the therapist to keep a journal, but that was it. I haven’t read any further,” I answer as Everett lifts himself from where he leans against me and makes his way to the cabinet that holds his favorite bourbon. Proceeding to pour himself a glass, he lifts the decanter to Dean and me, but the both of us shake our heads, refusing his offer for a drink.

The three of us remain in silence as Everett looks to be pondering his thoughts by the way his forehead creases with every sip he takes. Crossing my legs in front of me, I clasp my hands together and start to fiddle with my fingers. I stare over at Dean, his face lowered to the ground and his muscular arms crossed in front of his chest, looking equally as pensive as Everett.

“Who wants to work out?” I hop off the counter and give them both a sympathetic smile in hopes they will allow their minds to rest and take my bait. As the two of them look at me, I can see the tension releasing from their shoulders as they each give me a crooked smile.

“Just what I need, baby girl,” Everett responds as he sets his glass down and walks over to me, hoisting me over his shoulder. “Dean, you coming?” With a sharp slap to my ass, Everett makes his way to the hallway leading to the gym, Dean following close behind us. Pushing my hands against Everett’s back, I purse my lips at Dean. There’s no hesitation—he leans in and kisses me with his full lips as the three of us make our way to the gym.

“You better be saving some for me, princess.” Everett lets out a chuckle from behind us as he squeezes my ass in his hand.

“Plenty to go around, boss man.” I lean down his back and give his ass a playful squeeze back.

October 24, 2021

I have no idea how to start these fucking entries, but whatever. I was tasked with a target two days ago that got me thinking quite a bit. The target is a forty-seven-year-old male who’s made a reputation in the skin trade business. Reading his file, it lists his very active involvement in the dark web that specializes in the buying and selling of underage girls. This shit makes my blood boil. His file also states that he himself is a father to three preteen girls himself. That’s the shit I don’t understand. A father himself, buying and selling young girls to predators that will do unthinkable shit to them. I’m glad to take this man’s life. I wish I could do it in a more brutal way other than a quick blast to the head with a bullet. He deserves a more painful and slow death.

The three of us work out for the remainder of the evening. Dean and I focus on Sloan’s takedown ability and grappling skills on the mat. After they found Colson’s journal, my mind instantly began racing with unanswered questions. Questions that will never be answered due to the fact that the only one who could answer them is no longer here. Fuck, I miss him so damn much.

While on the mats with Sloan, I can’t help but admire her new confidence and strength. She has put her all into training, and the once delicate and fragile woman has bloomed into a fighting machine. Her ability to absorb every aspect of The Shadows’ training is on a higher level than most. Not only has she been successful in taking down an opponent twice her size, she’s also mastered the skill of reading her opponents every move before they’ve executed it. Dean has been working with her nonstop in this area of training, and it shows. The growth over the past six months has been a roller coaster of emotions for me personally. Although I’m more than proud she is learning to defend herself in any scenario, I’m also concerned about her future. I know for the three of us, The Shadows’ lifestyle is brutal and much more mentally debilitating than physically.

Watching her take down Dean on the mat, my amusement fades as I think of the emotional stress that she’ll soon have to endure in her training. Sloan’s physical capabilities are of no concern for me. That’s apparent with the way she slams Dean flat on his back after successfully escaping his grasps. However, her mind is no longer going to be safe come tomorrow.

Strength is not always something you can see. It comes in forms that we, as humans, cannot see with the naked eye. The mind is a dangerous yet powerful place that houses a muscle that is the hardest to strengthen. Whereas a bicep or quad can be stretched and torn to rebuild itself stronger and more durable, the mind is a whole new world—a whole new area of the body that needs to be treated with far more care than most. We have to protect ourselves, guard our minds, or we can crumble far too quickly.

The sweet sound of her laughter brings me back to the mats. Glancing over, I see Sloan straddling Dean with a smile that screams victorious, and I can’t help myself, I smile at the two of them. Their playfulness is intoxicating and infectious, and some days, I wish I could see the joys from her perspective. I fear I’ve lost my ability to be ‘fun’ and for that, I pray she never loses hers.

After a few more rounds of the two of them sparring, we decide to sit in the sauna. The steam and heat releasing the tightness in our muscles as we melt into the wooden benches we’ve all sprawled out on. Sloan has taken the top bench lying flat on her back, her legs crossed in front of her as her arms lie by her sides. Dean is sitting closest to the door; he never has the strength to last in the sauna for long periods of time. Pussy. I’ve taken the bench below Sloan, my back facing her as I spread my legs wide and drape my arms over the top bench where Sloan is lying.

“When are your birthdays?” A chuckle slips from Dean’s mouth as I tilt my head back to Sloan. “I’m serious! When were you guys born?” Looking into her crystal-blue eyes, I give her a small smile before Dean answers first.

“January first.” I can see her smile from my peripherals, allowing her a moment before I answer her question as well.

“December twenty-third.”

“Ooo almost a Christmas baby,” Sloan says, not looking at either of us.

“Do you guys want to know mine?” she asks, not knowing we already know her birthday, what hospital she was born at, how long her mother labored for, and the weather on that day. I play along, though.

“What’s your birthday, love?”

“September sixteenth,” she says, drawing out the words. “I’ve never celebrated my birthday before, not once. To me, it’s merely another day if I’m being honest.” I understand that. Dean, Colson, and I have never celebrated our birthdays; we were never celebrated as kids nor as recruits in training, so why start now? There was a long pause before she spoke again.

“When was Colson’s birthday?” I knew that question was coming, and I dreaded having to tell her. Glancing over to Dean, I see he’s already staring at me, his eyes hard as he inhales a deep breath. I close my eyes and rest the back of my head on the bench once more.

“September sixteenth,” I breathe out. I keep my eyes closed as Dean and I wait for her to react. I hear movement from behind me as she rolls her body from her back to her front.

“Oh,” is all she says. Nothing more. I sit up, lifting my head and turning to look at her. Damn, she’s beautiful—her completely naked body glistening with sweat across her skin, pooling at the curve of her ass where her two dimples are. Turning sideways, I lightly place my fingers at the base of her neck and traced the line of sweat down to the top of her ass. She crosses her arms and lays her head down on top of them, closing her eyes and enjoying the sensation. Goosebumps rise on her skin as I do this, over and over again, with my fingers.

“What’s going on in your head, doll?” Dean’s deep husky voice asks her from across the sauna. She opens her eyes to this question, staring at him from where her head is resting.

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