Page 14 of The Awakening

“Yes, yes, do it again!” I need this. I need him to hurt me so I can distinguish the feeling of pain. I need him to help me flip the switch inside me.

“You want me to hurt you, baby?” he asks, his tone curious as his mouth hovers over my collarbone. My pussy is throbbing—the friction of his jeans against my clit is not enough. I need more; I need his cock to fill me up and force its way inside me. I need him to hurt me.

“Yes, punish me, hurt me, make me feel something, Dean.” He pauses a moment as the realization of what’s happening registers in that split second.

“I fucking knew this was going to happen.” Dean sounds angry, and not his normal angry, but the anger he felt when I was kidnapped, or when I was being tortured by Van, or when Colson died. Without another word, Dean throws me off his lap and stands up in an instant. I’m sitting on the treadmill, leaning back on my elbows while Dean towers over me.

“You want me to hurt you, love? Then let’s go somewhere where I can do it properly.” Dean doesn’t let me respond. Instead, he grabs my arm with one hand and my waist with the other, and he lifts me over his shoulder and stocks to the gym door.

“Where are we going?” I ask, but he doesn’t answer me. It doesn’t take long for me to realize he is taking me to the women’s locker room. He kicks the door open and spins us around to flip the lock of the handle before setting me down on my feet. Turning to face me, his eyes dark as night as he stares down at me.

“I’d be lying if I said this didn’t happen to all of us during the simulations. We all eventually lost ourselves to the madness and flipped the switch so we didn’t have to deal with it anymore. But with you, you promised me you wouldn’t, and now look. I have to hurt you in hopes that will bring you back to the light. Pain is arguably the most triggering emotion we have. When we feel it too much, we take drastic measures in hopes of stopping the pain. Do you want me to hurt you, Sloan, because you no longer feel the desire you once had for me? Don’t fucking lie to me, either.” I hadn’t realized Dean was walking towards me until my back was flush against the wall. He’s now looking down at me, heat radiating off his body and anger evident in his posture.

Is he right, though? Do I want him to hurt me because I’ve lost my lust for him and Everett?

“I—I don’t know. I just need to feel something. I need you to help me, Dean. Help bring me back. Please,” I beg as I lift my arms and rest them on his abdomen.

“I can’t feel anything right now, and it’s numbing. I don’t want to not feel. Help me, Dean.” His eyes soften as I plea with him to do something—hurt me, fuck me hard, strangle me for fuck’s sake—just do something to fix this black hole of utter nothing that’s taking hold of every inch of my being.

Just as I’m lowering my head, about to accept defeat, Dean’s hands spin my body around and push me firmly into the wall. The heat of his body against mine is so hot, like when you stand too close to a fire and the heat waves burn you.

“You need to remember, Sloan, you asked for this. This will hurt.” I want to feel scared, but at this moment I still don’t. I need this from him. I need this to hurt. My jeans are suddenly ripped down my legs, along with my panties, as my entire backside is exposed to him. I can feel the slickness between my legs growing as he grabs the back of my long-sleeve and pulls it just enough so it’s no longer touching my back. I expected him to pull it off me, but the sound of metal clicking has me wondering what he’s doing. A slicing sound tears through the air, followed by my shirt hanging off my arms in two pieces.

“Now, take it off,” he growls, stepping back from me so I can remove the fabric from my chest. I take it off, letting it fall to the floor. The only thing left is my bra, but he makes quick work of that. Unlatching the bra, he pulls the straps down both my arms, and goosebumps prickle my skin. Dean’s lips brush my ear as he helps me out of my bra, and I close my eyes to the sensation.

“Now, bend over and hold on to the wall. This will hurt.” My body is trembling. Normally, I would be feeling nervous, anxious, or curious about what he’s going to do. My body is clearly reacting to his demands, but my brain is still in its zombie state. Quickly, I bend over, exposing my wet cunt to him.

“What are you going to do?” I ask, turning my head to see him unfastening his jeans and freeing his thick cock as he begins to stroke it up and down. He doesn’t answer me. He firmly grabs the back of my head, turning it towards the wall once again.

“Don’t move.” I stay still, as much as I can, as my body trembles. A warm hand glides up my ass, massaging my cheek hard as he squeezes it in his hand, no doubt causing it to bruise. He snakes his other hand around my waist, laying it flat against my stomach. Slowly, he slides his hand lower, past my belly button and to the apex of my pussy. He stops there, his hand hovering over my aching clit—the throb is becoming too much, and the desire for him to touch me grows. I moan, arching my back as his cock slowly presses against my ass.

“I’m going to make it hurt so good, you’ll never have to question your desire for me again.” With that, he dips his fingers into my pussy, the sudden pressure heating me instantly. As he slowly starts swirling his fingers in my pleasure, his thumb presses against my hole, swirling around, causing a sensation I’m not familiar with. Dean slides his fingers between my folds, spreading the evidence of my arousal as he reaches my hole and starts slowly pressing a finger inside me. It hurts, yes, but it’s a pain that you want more of.

“Ugh, Dean,” is all I can manage to say. He continues working my backside with one hand as the other squeezes my hip so hard it causes my abdomen to flex against his grasp. As he slips his finger inside my hole, a sharp pain shoots through me like an electric current, causing me to gasp.

“Relax, baby girl. You’re doing so good.” Dean continues spreading my arousal from my dripping pussy to my ass, preparing me for what’s to come. Releasing my hip, I hear him spit into his palm as he works his cock and my backside simultaneously. I’m breathing rapidly at this new type of pleasure; I’m not prepared when the tip of his cock presses against my hole just enough to slide the head inside. The mangled scream that escapes my mouth is truly demonic as the pain of his cock entering inside my tight hole has me seeing stars.

“Tell me, baby girl, what are you feeling right now?” I try to catch my breath and register exactly what he’s asking me, but all I can say is, “I feel you.” He pushes his cock a little further, the sharp pain increasing.

“Wrong. What are you feeling right now?” he asks again. Dean’s hand is back on my hip, squeezing me hard enough where I can’t move. I try to register what I’m feeling, what he wants to hear from me, but I’m blank. I’m so focused on his cock slowly pressing inside me that I can’t think of an answer.

“I remember when I first saw you at Stone Fortress, I hated you. I didn’t want to get involved with anything that wasn’t our business.” His cock slips in another centimeter. “Then we brought you home, and we made you our business quicker than I anticipated.” Releasing my hip, his hand comes down hard on my ass, the sharp sting of his hand slapping my skin causing another scream from my mouth.

“Then every incident after getting you home had me so confused and at war with my emotions. I didn’t know how to interpret what was happening to me. It would have been easy to turn it all off, of course.” His cock is now halfway inside me. “But that would have been the bitch thing to do, the easy way out. Is that what you’re doing, taking the easy way? I knew you couldn’t handle this job—I knew you’d bitch out and take the easy road.”

Slap. Another crack to my ass.

“If you think asking me to hurt you will miraculously flip your switch, then that shows me you have no control over your emotions, or worse, yourself.”

Slap.

“Colson would be so disappointed.” With that one comment, I’m seeing red. I’m ready to turn around and face this prick for daring to say such a thing when he forces his cock fully inside me. The pain radiates throughout my entire body. The pain ignites a fire in my core, the sharpness mixing with the sting of his invasion taking over me. I welcome the pain, feeling it as it racks through my body, filling every hole inside until the only thing I feel is the pain.

“So, fucking tight, baby,” he groans, his body flush against my ass, his cock still fully seated inside me. “Maybe Colson wouldn’t be disappointed—you’re taking me so well.” Red flashes through my vision once again, and I push my ass back against him until I’m able to release myself from his cock. Spinning around, I give him a death-glare at Dean, rage now taking the place of the pain as my blood starts to boil hot.

“You don’t get to talk about him like that!” I yell, and I see the side of his lip start to curl into what looks to be amusement. “You fucking bastard!” I get in his face, sweat starting to form along my hairline.

“Are you mad, baby? Did I take it too far?” His tone is condescending and full of sarcasm as he steps towards me. I put my hands to his chest, ready to push him back, but his hands clamp over my wrists, making me immobile. He pulls me into his face, his nose a mere millimeter from mine as his dark eyes peer down at me.

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