Page 222 of Assassin

There didn’t feel like there was one.

Poe considered it.

Then, he was honest.

“About ten years. Oh, wait. I’m still not over it. Sometimes, I have dreams about him, and sometimes, I’m haunted by his face—mostly when I look in the mirror and see myself. Loss is painful.”

That it was.

“I want to forget them,” he finally said. “I just want to erase them from my memory, so I can feel again,” he whispered. “I’m a horrible person for wanting to do that.”

Poe reached for his hand, and held it in his.

“No, you’re not. You’re human, and you’ve been through trauma. You’re entitled to feel the way you feel. There is no wrong or right way to mourn.”

He wished that was true.

Only, this burden was his to carry.

“I’m scared,” Gamble finally said. “I’m scared I’ll end my life, and she’ll be there waiting for me. Both of them will. It’s the only reason I haven’t taken my life yet. I can’t bear to be haunted in my death like I was in life.”

He let him talk.

“I hate her so much, Doctor.”

Oh, that was crystal clear. The man was wracked with guilt and anger.

“I know.”

Gamble kept talking.

“My child was so little. She was a toddler. She was smiles and peace…”

His voice quivered.

“Look at me,” Poe said, knowing he had to pull him from this mire, and it wasn’t going to be enjoyable for the man. It was going to be painful.

“You’re not going to want to hear this,” he admitted. “Only, someone has to be the one to say it to you. That someone is me.”

Gamble looked over.

“What?”

Here went everything. All of the trust he’d built hinged on getting Gamble to see what he was pointing out. He could lose him over this.

“She didn’t suffer. Drowning is quick, and it is like falling asleep. That’s the one thing you can hold onto.”

The second he said that Gamble pulled his hand away, and stood.

Yeah…

Poe expected this to happen.

Here came the anger part of mourning.

That one sentence shoved him into it. It was going to be painful for Gamble, but he wouldn’t heal unless he could hear the truth.

The man now standing there was breathing heavily as he faced the doctor down.

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