Page 79 of I Still Love You

With our history, he’s not about to grovel, that’s for damn sure.

He could’ve, however, listened to me and allowed me to share my side of the story. Instead, he shut me out, and that’s what hurts the most. He thinks I was repeating history, that I was running away for a second time.

What he doesn’t know is that I spent an hour during my shift pleading my case to Mildred on why she could use another permanent nurse on her floor even though there isn’t necessarily a need.

No matter how I can manage it, I’m staying in Quaint. I’m tired of moving around, of having to form relationships with new people every few months. In the beginning, it was great, but the longer I’ve been back home, rekindling relationships with people from my past—Luke included—the more I want to stick around for the long haul.

“So, you’re going to veg out on the couch all day?” Claire questions from her kitchen, where there’s an opening in the wall.

“I just got off work. If I want to be a potato, then let me be a potato,” I say defensively, my hands tucked under my pillow as I stare at the reality show I’m watching.

“Just wondering how long I’m going to have to call off my nightly hookups. The guy in apartment 4B has been eyeing me, and I know it’s only a matter of time.”

“Shut up,” I say, looking up from the T.V. to catch her smirk. “I thought you were back with Jared?”

“We hooked up one time, and he started to get too needy. The guy in 4B might not be, though.”

“Didn’t you tell him that needy isn’t for you? That you never let anyone through the threshold into the wonderful world of Claire Robinson.”

She lifts a brow, challenging me. “Who says it’s a wonderful world?”

“I do,” I say, “but only because you’re in it.” Claire may be rough around the edges, but she’s loyal. When she cares, she cares. And so far, she hasn’t found a man worthy enough to be on the receiving end of commitment from her. Jared, her last serious boyfriend, fucked her over one too many times for her to take him seriously again. “Thank you for letting me stay here. I just…don’t want to be alone.”

She enters the living room, taking a seat on the colorful armchair on the other side of the space. “You could have gone to Mom’s or Britney’s. Why did you come here?”

I move my gaze back to the television—some kind of dating show where participants are only allowed to communicate through texting. “Because I know you wouldn’t let me dwell for long. This is my second day here, and you’re already trying to kick me out.”

“I didn’t say you had to leave,” she clarifies. “I was just curious how long you’re going to mope in case I need to bring in reinforcements.”

I quirk a brow, repositioning my hands under my head. “Are you and Britney done fighting?”

“We were never fighting.”

“You two haven’t been talking since that Phase 10 rematch night. You’re definitely not being friendly to one another.”

“Not because of me. You know how she gets. She gets offended, and then it takes her three months to get over it.” Claire shakes her head. “But we both know she’d be here in a heartbeat if I called her.”

This is true.

“Do I need to call her?”

I contemplate her question. Adding another person into the mix will just make me want to mope longer. I’m going to have to brush off my knees and get back on my feet eventually, but I need the quiet to sort through all that’s happened.

Ignoring her question, I say, “He told me he still loves me. That he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.”

When I told Claire I was coming over and that it was an emergency, she took one look at me when I arrived and didn’t ask a single question. She opened her door wide enough for me and my oversized bag to squeeze through, then covered the couch with an extra sheet. It wasn’t until the next morning that I told her the bones of what happened between Luke and me.

I think she knows I’ll talk with time, and that’s why she’s given me so much space. To put it simply, I’m devastated. Luke’s words sliced into me, causing bleeding wounds that have yet to stop. I’m not sure they ever will, especially knowing that we were so close to salvation.

Both her brows shoot skyward. “No shit. What did you say back?”

I nibble at the skin on my lip to keep it from quivering. “He didn’t give me the chance to say anything back. Claire, he thinks I was planning this all along.”

“Were you?”

Pushing up on my elbow, I move to a sitting position and pull my knees to my chest. “No.”

"So, you weren’t going to toss up a peace sign the second your contract with Regional ended?”

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