Page 7 of I Still Love You

Mason shifts toward his brother. “What do you mean, no? I’m not paying for another cab. You’re going in there.”

“I’m not going anywhere with her.”

He talks about me as if I’m not present, like I can’t hear him. His desire to stay as far away from me as possible stings. Once upon a time, he used to look at me with love and adoration. Now, he can’t even address me.

I blink away the sting and put my focus back on Mason. “I’ll let triage know you’re here.” Then, I cut in front of them and power walk back toward the hospital, relenting to the oatmeal bar I have in my lunch bag because I won’t be leaving soon.

Luke may despise me, may not be able to look me in the eyes and hold a civil conversation, but I can’t go home until I know he’s okay. Without knowing that they walked into the hospital and walked back out.

I pace, the lounge bigger and allowing me more space for my strides than the supply closet during my phone call with Aubrey. It’s a twenty-by-thirty-foot space used by the nurses on this wing of the first floor. Two couches hug the wall on the far side. A complete kitchen with a seven-seater table at the other. Double-hung lockers fill the remaining walls.

A handful of nurses, ones I only recognize in passing, come and go while I wait. One gobbles down half a sandwich and leaves while chewing her last bite. Another nurse refills her insulated coffee mug, smiles at me, then returns to her shift.

I’ve had the god-awful experience of hearing the horrible news of someone you love not making it. Deep down, I’m aware that Luke is okay. Dr. Boise will stitch him up, and he’ll go on his merry way. He’ll leave this hospital better than he walked in like so many other people do, and that’ll be that.

My belly ties into a knot, twisting and looping in a way even the best angler can’t undo. Close to two hours since I ran into the Sacks brothers outside, and my stomach constricts. Nearly one hundred and twenty minutes since triage checked him in and brought them back at my request.

We rarely go against hospital policies, which is why I lied, why I told Helga that Luke and Mason are family. Her near-black eyes softened on me, and before I knew it, she moved him from the end of the list to the top—aside from patients who needed life-saving care. It’s also what put me back here, away from the three zones of the emergency department. Because he’s my family, I can’t assist in treatment, which is for the best. He couldn’t even look me in the eye outside.

I worry my lip, drawing the corner into my mouth and sit down for the first time in a while. Time always moves slower when I’m still, so I get back up and do laps around the room, walking over and around furniture when I need to. I almost fly across the room when the lounge door opens, and Susan pokes her head inside.

“He’s all done. Mindy is getting his discharge paperwork and after-care instructions together,” she informs, opening the door wider for me to slip through.

“Thank you, Susan.” I place a hand on her forearm. “It means a lot.”

A soft smile traces her pink lips. “Not a problem, sweetheart. This is how it is. Your family is my family. Mindy’s bedside care was impeccable, and Dr. Boise did a fantastic job with the sutures.”

Relief fills me as we make it to zone one, where Luke is, but the anguish returns almost immediately. In the nurse’s lounge, all I wanted was to see him. Now? It seems intimidating and impossible.

Susan squeezes my hand softly. “Good luck, Layla. He’s been drinking. Probably why he’s a tad moody.”

That would explain his attitude. Then again, I did abandon him.

I give her a thankful nod before she walks off. Bed three’s curtain is at the halfway mark, giving Luke privacy and hiding his bed from passersby. I angle my body to get a glimpse of him without being noticed. Intoxicated? Moody? I’m not so sure this is a good idea, but I can’t help myself. Susan might have told me he’s okay, but I need to see it with my own eyes.

Mason turns his head as I bustle by the curtain. I lean back, chastising myself for drawing unwanted attention. Take a deep breath, Layla. You can do this. If it were anyone else, I’d march in there, but this is Luke Sacks, the man who stole my heart years ago. The man whose heart I ruined.

“Layla?” Though quiet, Mason’s voice makes me jump as he walks around the curtain and motions toward the station in the middle of the department meant for doctors and nurses. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. What are you still doing here?” Curiosity shimmers in his words.

I shake my head slightly. “I didn’t feel right leaving. I wanted to make sure he was okay.”

The green in his eyes softens, turning a lighter shade, and a glow moves over them. I’m relieved to see that Mason still encompasses the same benevolence he had years ago. “Thank you for tonight. I didn’t realize you were in Texas. If I’d known you worked here, I’d have gone down the road, but every time I drive by the parking lot to Austin Inner, it’s packed. I thought a doctor would see him sooner here.”

Austin Inner Hospital is known to take their good old time with patients. I’m glad he didn’t take him there. I shake my head and glance at the floor, suddenly feeling awkward because I haven’t seen Mason in forever. I can’t imagine he’s happy over what I did to his brother. “No, it’s okay. You did the right thing,” I assure him. “Listen, I know this is weird.”

Mason peeks back at Luke’s curtain. “There’s definitely some tension in the air.”

“I know,” I breathe out. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for staying and for what I did.” Holding his stare, I apologize for what I did in the past. “I’m sorry I left, but I—I just needed to, Mason. I couldn’t stay.”

Reaching out, he squeezes my arm sympathetically. “I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt him. You broke his heart, Layla. Shattered it to pieces. Shit, mine, too. We welcomed you into our lives, into our family.” He sighs. “I know it couldn’t have been easy what you went through.”

Nodding, I revert back to the professionalism I exuded outside. “Thank you for saying that. Luke is lucky to have you.”

He tips his chin faintly and crosses his arms. His gaze sharpens, fixing me as the target. “He was lucky to have you too, you know.”

A sense of longing fills me, taking me back to when Luke loved me, back to when we spent every extra minute of our time together. To when we were a happy couple who looked forward to creating a future together.

I offer a tight smile. “Is it okay if I have a minute with him? I’ll be quick.”

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