Page 43 of I Still Love You

He nods and lowers his gaze to the grass. “I know.”

“It’s like everyone left for food at the same time. Can you believe there was a line outside of the supply tent?” I hear Crystal before I see her, her voice loud and carrying around the edge of the wall. When she rounds the corner and realizes I have company, she slows to a halt. “Sorry, I didn’t know you’d be having a visitor.”

Luke smiles in her direction, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Not that I would know what that looks like these days. Just when I’m getting used to his down-turned brows and glaring eyes, he halts the blood in my body with his sorrow. He lifts off the table, straightens, and checks the time on his watch. “I need to eat, too, before the next swarm of people attack.” I notice his hesitation and wonder if he’s contemplating giving in with the way he lingers a moment too long.

Is he going to reach out? Touch me? Curl his hand into mine? Press a kiss to my cheek? That last one might be ridiculous, but you can’t blame a girl for trying.

He looks up at the umbrella, and it’s like he sees through it to the clear blue skies beyond. “Make sure you drink up. Last thing we need is an E.R. nurse ending up in her own E.R.”

Crystal watches our exchange, so I give him a quick nod to encourage him to be on his way. “Talk to you later,” is all he offers before curving around the table without another glance.

“Tell Jett it was nice to meet him.”

Luke flicks a thumb up and rounds the partition back over to his side of the booth, and I’m left to deal with the awkwardness that ensues after. Crystal sets the bag of food on the table. “Who’s Jett?”

“Jett’s his friend.”

“Is Jett as good-looking?”

I glance at the ring on Crystal’s left ring finger then and head to investigate the contents of the bag. “Which sub is mine?”

“Either, or. They’re both the same.” She grabs hers and offers me a bottle of cold water. “Well? Is he?”

I can’t help but ask, “Aren’t you married?”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate an attractive man when I see one,” she comments with a shrug, and my eyes nearly bulge out of my head because I didn’t peg her for this kind of woman. She must take my silence as judgement, because she admits, “Besides, my husband and I have an open relationship.”

“As in your polygamists?”

She lifts a flat hand and moves it from side to side. “Yes, and no. It’s complicated, but he sure as heck wouldn’t mind me checking someone out,” she explains with a grin and a twinkle in her eye. “He does it all the time.”

“That’s…confusing.”

Confusing? I think this heat is finally getting to me.

She looks over at me and winks. “I can think of another ‘c’ word we could add to match the context of our conversation.” Her cheeks blush a deep shade of red, but then she plasters her palms to them. “Oh my, God. I’m so sorry. I lose my filter when I get exhausted. I’m normally much more reserved, I swear.”

All that’s left for me to do is laugh. And I do. Boisterous, belly deep laughs spill from me and cause me to bend to get a breath. The last thing I expect after the seriousness that bounced between Luke and me is this. And as out of line as Crystal is, I can’t help but be grateful that there’s something to distract me from the feelings that might come when I finally sit down with Luke and…talk.

19

Luke

Day two of the clinic is no cooler than the first. The only difference is the occasional splattering of clouds that hangs high and shield us from the sun every so often, but they do shit to lower the temperature. The sun’s heat penetrates through the fluffy things like they’re nothing. I’m sweating like a fucking pig and can’t wait for lunch, so I have a reason to go to the supply tent, which—rumor has it—is air-conditioned.

Jett isn’t here giving me a hard time—he did plenty of that yesterday after coming back from his phone call. He wouldn’t let up until I gave him the details about Layla, about why I didn’t tell him she was back, and if I was serious about being back with her. That leads to letting him in on the facts behind it, including the deal. And God damnit if he didn’t make me feel every ounce of shame afterward.

So, instead of my best friend distracting me, Andrew is. I’ve noticed his perusing eyes in Layla’s direction one too many times today. Through showing off the models Rebecca brought from the office, I’ve kept my eye on him out of my peripheral. Was he like this yesterday?

It’s pissing me off. I don’t want to know what was between them, but the more I catch his stares, the more that’s starting to change. After all, he is the ultimate reason I can’t keep my eyes off Layla’s golden hair and petite frame. The reason she propped her ass on my lap at the farmer’s market. The reason she shoved a brownie in my damn face at Sierra’s house. He’s there, underlying each instance and responsible for it all.

And the audacity of blatantly checking her out while I was only feet away. He knows we’re together, and yet he’s doing the same damn thing while we’re all supposed to be working.

What the fuck is his issue?

Fuck it. I’m forfeiting my previous reservations. The way he eyes her, I can’t help but think that they have a history, but that only confuses the shit out of me because the last time she was in Quaint, she was with me, and the recognition that lit up his eyes that day in the hallway confirms he knew me, but I didn’t know him.

It’s all so disorienting, and I’m having trouble putting my finger on it. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts. I should care less about another man looking at her, at the way his eyes roll over her body like she’s a pretty flower he wants to pick.

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