Page 20 of I Still Love You

I chuckle, knowing he’s fucking around. Well, mostly. Jett and Henderson started in the leagues around the same time. They quickly fell into each other’s inner circles and have been there for each other ever since. Tilly, on the other hand, pushed his way through, and we all know the bastard is here to stay, him and his smart mouth. But it doesn’t negate that he and Henderson get into it sometimes.

I motion for my next patient to come back with me as Henderson heads for the door. “I’m telling Tilly that,” I shout, screwing with him. As soon as he’s outside, he peers through the door and gives me the finger.

My next three appointments fly by. Before I know it, I’m in my office eating a packed lunch to avoid going into the hospital. I crunch carrots between my molars and devour a whopping ham and cheese sandwich in five bites before accepting a video call from my brother. He’s been pestering me about Layla, wondering what’s going on between us. Just this morning, I caved and told him what Layla did. That she claimed me as hers.

“What did you tell her?” Mason asks with piqued interest after telling him I sought her out the other day. Mackenzie, in the background, stands with Charlotte on her hip, and she’s the cutest little girl in the world. I can’t help but smile when I see her button nose and flowy brown hair. Sometimes I wish we didn’t live so fucking far from each other. I would happily cart my ass to Austin if it meant I didn’t have to give up my office or clients.

“What do you think I told her?” I question, my voice a considerable amount lighter than what it would be if this conversation were happening with the woman herself. I pluck a carrot out of my sandwich bag and pop it into my mouth, crunching through the visceral irritation that’s beginning to pump through me at the mention of my ex.

Mackenzie, the love of Mason’s life, lifts her brows at me. “Please tell me you were nice to her, Luke.” She knows what I went through when Layla left me. Saw me at my worst. She also gets that I haven’t been the same since it all went down. She always encourages me to be a better person, to push it aside and, dare I say, forgive her.

It’s easier said than done.

I lick my lips. I don’t know what they expect of me, how they think it’s so easy for me to let go and chalk it up to a misunderstanding. They got their happy ending. Shouldn’t they focus on all the love they have brewing over there instead of where my head is at regarding my ex-fiancé? “Why does it matter?”

“Because you’re not usually a jerk,” Mackenzie notes, leaning over Mason’s shoulder to get closer to the camera. “You weren’t before she left, anyway. You got into a bar fight a few weeks ago, Luke.”

I squint at my friend turned sister-in-law. “That guy had it coming.” And I haven’t had a lick of alcohol since I’ve been back home. I know it’s a death trap. Know that it’s just what I need to fall down my off-the-rails rabbit hole. “As far as she’s concerned, I’m trying my best.”

Lies. Lies, lies, lies.

I don’t want them worrying about the shit that’s happening here. Not after what they’ve been through, even if it was years ago when Mason decided to leave his life in Maine for a new job in Austin, resulting in their love story finally starting. I can’t imagine how hard it was for Mason when Mackenzie declined to move to Texas with him the first time he asked. Layla being back fucks with my head just as much as that did his.

Mason, the decent husband that he is, stays quiet while Mackenzie drones on. “You used to be sweeter, Lukey,” she croons, using the childhood nickname she made for me when we were kids. “Now you’re like walking barbed wire.”

I look to Charlotte because Mackenzie’s not wrong. I am rougher around the edges and have been since Layla ghosted and disappeared. The only person who truly reaps the rewards of whatever is left of my pleasant side is my niece. “Tell your mom that’s not true, Char.”

Charlotte kicks her legs and wiggles in Mackenzie’s arms. She’s just starting to talk, and if she knew more words, I know she’d give me a witty, childish reply. Instead, she giggles, and it instantly improves my day.

“See.” I wink at Mackenzie. “Still a little sweet.”

Mackenzie sighs. “Charlotte doesn’t count. She’s your niece. Of course, you love her and will be nice to her.”

“I disagree. She totally counts.” Again, I turn my attention back to Char and give her a silly wink, scrunching my upper lip higher as I do. She giggles again, and it’s everything. Why are kids so damn adorable? My mood bitters at the thought, because had Layla done things differently, we could have started our own family by now. Charlotte could have cousins.

Mackenzie sighs and walks out of the camera’s frame when she realizes she’s not getting anywhere with me. “I have to get Charlotte ready for her playdate. Talk some sense into your brother, Mase.”

“Love you, Kenz!” I yell, ignoring what she just said to Mason and shoving the bad mood grabbing for me away. “You too, Char!”

Mason glances at their retreating forms before turning back to the screen. “She’s not wrong, you know.”

I exhale an annoyed breath and lean back in my office chair. “She threw me under the bus and now is expecting me to follow along with whatever she says. Nothing good is going to come from faking it.”

“If mom and dad heard you talking to her the way you did that night, they’d rip you in two. You can’t keep up the asshole façade forever, Luke. I don’t see why you can’t give her the benefit of the doubt. I don’t like what she did any more than you do, but you have history. It’s not good to keep that shit buried. Look at dad. He pushed all of his emotions down until he exploded with one hell of a mid-life crisis. Hell, he convinced mom to move to California with him. California. Is that what you want for yourself?”

“California sounds kind of nice, actually.”

“You weren’t saying that when you were here. If I remember correctly, you were bitching about how they should put more effort into visiting more often.”

I look off to where a window is cut out in the wall, ironically in the same direction as the E.R. My dad’s mid-life crisis has nothing to do with what Layla left me with. He didn’t know how to properly handle all the shit in his life—his withering marriage, his stress-ridden job, and his uncanny ability to move from one thing to the next without caring how it affects people.

“I’m not going to go buy a yacht with my only line of credit,” I assure him, realizing how ridiculous it sounds out loud. I still don’t know how dad got away with it or how mom had the patience to lure him back in and fix him, but she did, and I guess that’s all that matters because the two of them are the happiest we’ve ever seen them. I just wish they didn’t need to leave their family to get there.

“It wasn’t a yacht.”

“Yacht or not. I’m not having a crisis.”

“You sure about that?” Mason questions before shaking his head. “She broke your heart, man. I get that, but you have to move on. You can’t do that until you face the music."

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