Page 16 of I Still Love You

Ashton, you can come out now.

First pretending I’m her boyfriend—when, really, I was so much more than that. Ashton is here somewhere, damnit. He has to be. “Is this a joke?”

She repositions two glass bottles in her hands, and it’s the first I notice the soft indigo of her scrubs and how my shirt is almost a perfect match. It couldn’t get any better than this. Truly. “Am I laughing, Luke? Does it look like I’m pulling your leg?”

“How the fuck would I know?” I raise my brows and cross my arms over my chest. “It’s hard to trust anything that comes out of your mouth.”

She glares at me and takes a confident step closer. Her eyes no longer pleading with me, she raises her chin, and it takes me back to the first moment we spoke, when she looked up from that little table at the coffee corner and smiled at me. Back then, she exuded the same confidence she does now. The only difference between the two? She’s about ready to murder me with it rather than shoo me away. If she had one superpower in this second, it’d be flame daggers from the eyes. They’d come for me at lightning speed. No chance in hell I’d get away before they’d cut into my skin and sear me.

That would be better than this. Better than her lithe body being less than a goddamn foot in front of me. I’d rather eat cockroaches. Walk on a bed of nails. Eat a jar of fucking mayonnaise—the only condiment I despise—rather than deal with her.

Though she’s close, she doesn’t dare touch me. Just angles her neck back so she can taper her beautiful blue-jay eyes at me. I’m ready to kick myself in the ass when I notice her soft lips, the hearty shape of them, and the way they shine under my stare. Jesus, they’re enticing. Not just because their fullness matches her other features perfectly, but because of her mouthy confidence.

When she speaks, I realize my love for them needs to morph into a less desirable emotion. So, I twist my lips up in a scowl and watch her. “Get used to it, Sacks. As much as you want me gone, this is where I am now.”

My nostrils flare, my tongue rolling in waves. “For how long?” How long will I need to watch for her over my shoulder? “For how long should I avoid the cafeteria lunches?”

“That’s what you care about? The cafeteria lunches?” She scoffs, lowers her eyes, and turns in the opposite direction, clearly done with me. Fuck, if I were her, I’d be done with me, too.

Quick to round her and catch up, I press my hand against the wall to stop her. She doesn’t seriously think this conversation is over, does she? We have yet to discuss what the hell she’s going to tell Andrew because we most definitely are not dating. I’m not her boyfriend, her fiancé. I’m nothing, and that’s how I’d like it to stay. “What are you going to tell that dude?”

“I’m not—”

“Cut the shit,” I spit, my voice tighter than it was a moment ago. “We both know that guy is a bouquet of red fucking flags. Of all the people you could’ve attached to, you picked me.” It tells me he’s much worse than I initially thought and that she’d be willing to endure the fire between us to save face with him. “For once, be fucking real with me.”

“Okay, fine,” she seethes. Her eyes drift to a lady walking by before turning back to me. “He’s an ass. Something you two have in common. Hey.” It’s like a lightbulb appears above her head the way her eyes widen in sarcasm. “Maybe you two can get a beer together. Bond over the fact that you both like to give me shit.” She forces her lips into a saccharine smile, then ducks down to walk under my arm.

I grit my teeth while the squeak of her shoes fades down the hall, her insult hanging heavy in the air. She approaches a door not far off, pulls her badge from her body, and swipes it against the security strip. The doors fold open and swallow her, but not before I knock my fist on the wall one, two, three fucking times, the time on my watch showing I only have fifteen minutes until my next appointment.

“Goddamn it.”

7

Layla

I can’t be held responsible for my actions.

I shouldn’t have told Andrew that Luke and I are together. I’m hoping they both just…forget about it. Forget that moment ever existed. Luke, with those heated cadmium green eyes of his, are all I keep thinking about.

It’s not my fault he appeared at the perfect time. Sadly, I can’t exactly backtrack because coworkers are now shamelessly asking if I’m back with Luke. I can’t bring myself to tell them no, not after I broke off our engagement two years ago. “Are you two, really, you know, a thing? You’re back together?”

Sierra’s long, balayage blonde hair tumbles down her chest in waves, and it’s the first thing I glimpse when I look up, her stylist nailing the perfect color combination to go against the backdrop of her skin tone. Even if her hair didn’t look fabulous, she still would. Sierra always had this effortlessness to her. Like nothing is too hard. Like everything is within reach.

Swallowing down my stupidity, I say, “We’re trying to figure it out.”

She leans forward over the desk, lips pursing as she peers down at me. I always appreciated her bubbliness, even before we lost contact. “You’ve been gone for two years. Please tell me you’re picking back up from where you left off.” Her eyes move to my hand. “Where’s the ring?”

I glance down at my screen and continue working on the notes I need to input for my current patients. “There is no ring.” I don’t think I’ll ever be that lucky again. “It’s not as easy as it sounds to just come back and start off where we left things. I hurt him, Sierra.”

“Heartbroken or not, you’re a hot piece of ass.” She smirks. “No wonder he snatched you back up the second you got back.”

I nod, but my stomach sinks. I’m fairly certain Luke wants to stay as far away from me as humanly possible. If Sierra knew the truth, she wouldn’t be looking at me with sparkles in her eyes. Luke’s menacing stare would shut her hopefulness down in a snap.

“I bet it feels good to be back with him, huh?” She arches one of her micro-bladed eyebrows and leans into the counter. Looking off, she sighs dreamily. Her cheeks push up the slightest bit and highlight her foundation covered cheekbones. “What I wouldn’t do to have a man like that in my bed every night.”

I’d roll my eyes at her ridiculousness if I knew she wouldn’t question me. Good-looking or not, his soul has soured into a prickly form of a man. She might see a brown-haired, handsome sports therapist with lean arms and a muscular chest. To me, he’s a cactus. Get too close, and those sharp points will poke and prod. One word aimed in my direction from him, and it’s like I’m being backed into that plant, and my skin wants to splinter.

All over again, the guilt of leaving creeps in, causing my confidence to waiver. Back and forth, I volley, like a pinball, waiting to break past the barriers at either end, my hurdles being my own mind and Luke.

---