Page 77 of I Choose You

It’s me who finally needs to separate my life as a child from my life as an adult. The way my father neglected our relationship hurt me. It still does, but it doesn’t have to define the relationships I have with my closest friends—or anyone, especially the father of my child.

Jeez, I still can’t believe this happened.

So long ago, I gave my power to my father, a man who didn’t care to be around and hasn’t been in my life since I was a child, but I’m taking it back now. My power is my own, and this baby will know who their father is better than I ever knew my own.

36

Mackenzie

Luke’s hands rest on my shoulders, and he pulls me into a hug. “I wish you’d let me come with you.”

He tries convincing me a myriad of times on the drive to the airport, but it’s unnecessary. I need to do this on my own. It’s nerve wracking wondering if Mason will reject me on sight, but whenever I worry about it, I try to move through the emotions that come with it and remind myself that this is Mason Sacks we’re talking about, my best friend of fifteen years. As much as he may not like me currently, he won’t tell me to leave.

For me and the baby’s sake, I can’t allow myself to go there.

It would be easy to go back to my old way of thinking, but I have tried too hard this past week to reframe my mind, so I don’t want to risk taking a step backward. I don’t want to stay in the past when I need to move forward. It’s not only my heart on the line now. “I love how much you’ve been here for me, Luke, but I need to hold my own hand through this.”

His hand squeezes my shoulder. “Keep yourself out of your head, yeah? And take care of that little one for me.”

“I promise.” He leans forward to press a kiss to my forehead, then drops his hands to his sides.

“Call me Sunday before you board your flight to remind me what time I need to pick you up.”

I nod, appreciating the lengths Luke is going to make sure I’m okay. I think it also has something to do with his excitement over being an uncle. We haven’t spoken about it much since I still haven’t told Mason, but I can see it in his eyes. I’ve noticed how he’s home more often these last few days. When he is, he lingers. It only solidifies his words from earlier in the week; we love you, Mackenzie.

Before I board my flight, I give him a look. “You didn’t tell him I was coming, right? I want him to be surprised when I get there.”

“I wanted to, but I didn’t,” he promises.

“Thank you.”

“Go get him, Kenz. See you Sunday.”

I land at the same airport as when Mason and I visited. I grab my carry-on out without a problem and shuffle through the crowd of people to catch a cab. Lucky for travelers, there’s always an abundance of them waiting outside in their dedicated area. When I slide into one of the submarine-yellow taxis, I read off the address Luke got for me. In minutes, the taxi drives toward the outer suburbs of Austin. It takes a lot longer to get to his apartment complex than the last time. The airport is farther away than our hotel was, and it tacks on an extra forty-five minutes to the drive time with rush-hour traffic.

I hold my elbows tight to my sides and take a shallow breath when we pull up to his apartment building. I hand over a few bills to the cab driver. “Thanks so much.”

“Need me to wait?”

“No, uh, I’ll be alright. Thanks again.”

As he drives away, I stare up at the building before making it into the foyer. I adjust the strap of my carry-on and pray for the best. I hope to God Mason is in a forgiving enough mood since I decided against booking a hotel room. Most were already taken for the weekend, and Luke assured me it wouldn’t be necessary.

Mason won’t turn you away, I promise.

Luckily, the same gentleman that worked at the front desk when we visited before is working, and he recognizes me even though Mason did all the talking that day. “Ah, I’ve seen you before.” He bends slightly, opening a cabinet door below a computer monitor while shaking a finger at me.

I smile through the knots wreaking havoc in my stomach. “You have. I’m he—”

He waves a hand at me. “I remember. Mrs. Sacks, right? I’m Doyle, one of many clerks you’ll find here. Though if I’m being honest, it feels like I’m the only one sometimes.” His creamy tan skin glows under the soft lighting behind the desk when he grins, and the single stud in his left earlobe sparkles against his salt and pepper hair.

I appreciate his megawatt smile and how it makes him seem more approachable. Still, I gulp down the error he made and nod. It’s easier than having to explain who I am.

“I was worried we wouldn’t see you around here again, but I am very happy to see you’ve arrived. Mr. Sacks won’t come and go looking so somber. Almost convinced me he was suffering through heartbreak.” He smiles softly. “Now I see he was just missing you.”

The knot moves to my throat, preventing me from getting a word out. Instead, I give him a reassuring smile and take the key he hands over the counter, finding it somewhat strange that they have extra keys for each apartment. I shrug it off and thank him for it even though I know I won’t be using it.

“That’s what I’m here for. Tell Mr. Sacks I expect a few smiles out of him in the morning.”

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