Page 58 of I Choose You

I’m not sure what’s going to happen once he’s gone. My fears about commitment issues still remain. How do I tell him having a long-distance relationship isn’t something I’m interested in?

The thought makes me queasy.

His hand grasps the back of my neck to pull my forehead to his. His mouth is a breath from mine, but I don’t want to ruin the moment by pressing up on my toes. This differs from what I’m used to with him. Lately, it’s been all fun and flirty and euphoric. I still wonder how things changed so fast, but this is heavy and makes the air thick with tension. And not the kind that feels good.

“I won’t overthink it,” I promise.

“Promise me, Kenzie. Tell me you won’t, so I don’t have to think about going without you for the next few weeks. It’ll kill me not to have you by my side before I leave.”

My heart hurts at how painful his words are. I know how badly he needs this because I need it, too. Before we knew what it would be like to be with one another, we were the best of friends. People who stood by each other through our toughest and easiest moments. Kisses and touching and orgasms won’t change that. Ever. We can’t let it.

“I promise, Mase.” I try my best to cover the brittleness of my voice and push down my emotion as I raise my eyes to his. “These next three weeks, you’ll have me however you need me.”

His mouth covers mine then. Hard. Fervent need rushes from his lips to mine. It’s toxic to my nervous system but the safest bet for my heart. With a growl, his knees bend, and his hands are on the back of my bare legs, moving up, up, up until his hands catch on my bare ass. They knead and massage, separating my cheeks, only to let them bounce back together.

It only turns me on more.

He pulls away, his attention moving to my towel. He might have lifted it to feel me, but he doesn’t seem to like that I’m still covered. “I’m going to ask you to do something. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” His teeth cut into his bottom lip. “But I really fucking hope you do.”

I pull the tucked corner of the towel free before he gets the chance to ask. He’s at his breaking point, but what he doesn’t know is that so am I. I know what it’s like for him to touch me, for him to drive me to the point of release.

The ocean-blue towel falls to the floor, leaving my reddened skin from the hot shower water on display for him to see. “Is this what you wanted?” I whisper.

I thought he was at his neediest on that paintball field, but boy was I wrong. This version of Mason is so much darker, deeper, and hungrier. Forest green eyes widen with pleasure. He retreats, moving back until his body bumps against the bathroom door. I’d be alarmed by the distance if he weren’t already fucking me with his eyes. He turns, pressing his forehead against the wooden door as if he’s struggling with the idea of seeing me naked before turning around. He’s a man at war with himself. I almost don’t know what he’s going to do next until he closes the distance with one step. He lifts me onto the edge of the sink, and in an instant, his lips blanket mine. My mouth becomes his asylum, protection from everything that threatens to separate us.

This is much better.

His lips restore my emotions thanks to his greedy need for more. We nip, working quickly against the other. We could throw out sparks with how fast we move. Our teeth graze our lips. Tongues twirl. Soft moans barrel from my chest. Deep, throaty growls sprint up Mason’s throat.

I gasp for air when his lips leave me. Immediately, they drop to my neck before heading south. I yelp when he bites my clavicle. A cry of pleasure replaces it when his swollen, sweet lips move over my nipple and he pulls it into his mouth, sucking and licking until he’s content. Then he moves to the other side.

My legs spread on their own. My core begs for what it received yesterday, only instead of fingers pumping into me, it’s ready for something more wicked. Something heavier and thicker.

“Mason.” It comes out hoarse and awkward, but I am far from embarrassed. This thing he awakens in me is animalistic and foreign and the best thing I have ever felt in my life. “More.”

He grins against my stomach as he kisses down over my belly button while he undoes his belt buckle. The metal rattles. He kicks at his work slacks until they glide down his lean legs and pool at his feet. I rove over his black briefs, heat filling me from seeing the stiff bulge straining against them. From here, he looks big—too big—and it makes my cheeks warm.

Kisses pepper along my thigh, and I whimper, wondering what it would be like to have his mouth where his fingers were yesterday. How the slickness of his tongue touching the wetness of my core would seduce me. Teasingly, he moves his lips against my skin. Sweat beads on my body, hot and sticky from the combination of getting out of the shower and thinking about him inside me.

Pleasure moves through me when his finger brushes my heat, then moves away, kissing until his mouth is hovering above me. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

Under dark lashes, he looks up at me. “I mean it, Mackenzie.”

“So do I.”

“Once we do this...” The rest of his sentence lingers in the air until he decides it’s better to finish it than leave it up for interpretation. “I’m fascinated with you in a way I have never been with anyone else. If we do this, I know I’m going to want more. Are you ready for that? If you aren’t, we can stop this, and I promise everything will go back to the way it was. I won’t make it awkward.”

Why the heck would I want to go back to the way things were before all this started? Back then—which wasn’t that long ago—I lived in fear. My past wiggled its way into my present. I resorted to blind dates and dating apps—and failed.

Even with our future unknown, I wouldn’t stop this for anything.

Mason makes me feel like I can breathe. With him, my mind is quiet. My heart knows it’s safe. It’s like all the negative emotions in me joined and flipped into the most positive experience; us. If two lefts can make a right with a third, then two negatives with a side of we-shouldn’t-do-this can definitely make a positive.

Continuing could very well ruin us, or it could bring to life a new chapter. Either way, I understand the danger, knowing full well this is the riskiest decision I have yet to make. It’s worth skidding out for, though. It’s worth spinning in circles over.

I lean forward, my ass still on the edge of the sink, and peer down at him. He peppers me with kisses, waiting to see if I waver.

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