Page 6 of I Choose You

How the hell am I supposed to go to Texas? This town has been my home for the last five years. My twin brother is here. My best friend. I can’t fathom being so far away. Having so much distance between us would be…unnatural.

Luke’s relationship with Layla comes to mind, making me consider whether he would even miss me, but he would. We’ve been together since our mother’s womb. And Kenzie…

I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve had a thing for her all these years. I’m not even sure if Luke really knows. I’ve chosen to keep it under wraps because I value our friendship, and if it came down to it, I would want our friendship over not having her at all. The thought of not being around her every day nearly chokes me out right here at my desk.

I wish relationships weren’t so goddamn risky. People don’t always see eye to eye. It’s what can make or break the bond two people have. Not only that, but I know the extra effort Kenz puts into not getting attached. Luke and I are damn lucky that her parents’ divorce didn’t impact our friendship with her. Every time I allow my mind to go there—and think about Mackenzie being mine—I’m reminded that it’ll likely never happen.

I breathe deeply in an effort to push the stress of the decision away and turn my focus back to the report on my screen. It’s halfway done, and my goal is to finish it before the day is over. Because of their extensive nature, they always take me hours.

Once again, I’ll be spending the evening at my desk. The thought makes me consider moving to Texas more. Would leaving the most important people in the world be worth what I would get in return?

3

Mackenzie

I’m watching as Owen and his grandmother, Nancy, the applicants I’ve been working with for the last two weeks, make another loop around the canines. Owen’s grandmother is trying to figure out which dog she shares the best connection with, and while we’ve pulled a dozen of them out for her to interact with, she can’t decide.

I might be more annoyed if I didn’t love my job and find her absolutely adorable. She’s your typical grandmother, rather small in stature and donning a smile that goes on for days. Her lips stretch across her face with joy every time she approaches a different kennel. And while she’s not the steadiest on her feet, and her hand slightly shakes whenever she pokes a finger through the crates, you’d never know she physically struggles. Her happiness is as apparent as the yelping barks that serenade her each time she gives a new canine her attention.

It’s taking up my morning, but I find it endearing. At least she knows what she wants and is putting in the effort. The poor dogs perk up each time she passes by. Pretty soon, if she doesn’t adopt one, I might have to.

Owen’s bright blue eyes make me straighten to attention each time he looks over his shoulder to silently apologize for how long she’s taking. I always offer a genuine smile back to tell him it’s okay, and he turns back around to assist his grandmother. Something about their body language tells me she raised him, especially whenever she rests her hand on his lean forearm for support. More so when she hooks it through the crook of his arm.

“She still looking?” Nelly, my coworker and good friend, strides up beside me, bumping into my shoulder for attention. When I glance over, I immediately smile at what I see. Nelly is naturally beautiful, with sleek cheekbones that become more defined with the makeup she uses. And she’s always sporting some shade of red on her plump lips. Today, they’re stained a deep cranberry, and it’s the perfect contrast against her dark skin and midnight black curls.

“Love that color on your lips,” I compliment before looking back over to Owen and Nancy with a sigh. “She’s searching for a companion. That’s not something you can rush.”

Nelly moves on from Nancy to appreciate Owen in an instant. “And what about him? Can that be rushed? And thanks, by the way, it’s my new favorite.” She rolls her lips together, then smacks them in a kiss before appreciating Owen like he’s a piece of meat she wants to gobble in one bite.

There’s no doubt that Owen is good-looking, with his dirty blond hair and sharp jawline. His shoulders are broad, and his nose comes down to a strong point that almost accentuates his well-mannered boldness. He carries this genuine air about him that I’m sure makes people gravitate toward him. His kind and respectful nature doesn’t hurt. Two things I’m sure his grandmother taught him if she did raise him, along with the patience he’s seemingly a pro at as well.

Something tells me he wouldn’t be able to handle Nelly. I don’t have to know everything about him to know this because I’m aware of how extra Nelly can be. Some days I don’t understand it, but I try not to question her. She’s a free spirit, wild and opinionated. She loves all things sparkly and moves through men quickly. The best part about it, she’s not ashamed of herself. She loves men and makes no apologies for it, but is Owen the same? Does he move through women like it’s no big deal? I angle my head and observe him. I can’t picture him being a playboy.

She gasps when his back turns in our direction. “Damn.” He does have a nice ass. Even I can admit that. The jeans he wears compliment him well. Almost too well, especially when he bends to stick a finger through one of the kennels, and his ass pops out in those dark denim jeans he’s wearing.

“How are you not jumping his bones?” Nelly questions with a quiet voice, tilting her head to the side as she checks him out.

“I have self-control. Something you have none of,” I joke.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, her winged eyeliner creasing from the movement. “I can control myself. I just choose not to most of the time. We only have one life to live, Mackenzie. Might as well make the most of it when an opportunity like that presents itself.” She pauses for a beat, “When are you going to let go and have fun? Look at what you’re missing out on.”

I wish she would stop nagging me to go out with her and listen to me when I tell her I’m content with how things are. “I’m not interested in commitment. You know that, Nel.”

Her arms fly into the air, her hands then come down to slap against her thighs in exasperation. With her sudden outburst of body language, I’m surprised she’s so quiet when she talks. “Exactly why it’s the perfect setup. Besides,” she says, her expression turning softer, “you can’t let what happened when you were a kid destroy your life now. Go out and have fun. No strings attached. That’s what most guys go for, anyway.”

Yeah, at first, until they want more. Then, what? While I’m appreciative that Nelly is trying to get me out of my comfort zone and knows the basics of why I am the way I am, she doesn’t fully understand why I’m so hesitant. Only knowing that my parents divorced when I was young is a completely different level of trauma compared to what really happened. “I’m not stupid. You tell them you’re not interested, and then they become interested. It’s like reverse psychology.” And something I’m not willing to risk.

Her narrowed gaze moves to me. “Oh, stop. I think it would do you good to be your own science experiment.” She lifts a shoulder. “Go out, get down and dirty, then move on the next day. You can’t be alone forever. Everyone needs companionship eventually.”

I shift my weight to my other foot and lean against an empty kennel. “I’m not alone,” I tell her, though I try to convince myself in the process because the truth is, I am alone.

She sighs. “Friends don’t count. I’m talking beyond me, Mason, and Luke. When was the last time you got out?”

“We went paintballing over the weekend.”

She purses her lips. “Let me rephrase. When was the last time you got out that didn’t involve them or me?”

Okay, it has been a while.

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