Page 24 of I Choose You

“That’s perfectly okay to feel that way.” She jabs a carrot and sticks it into her mouth. “Mason and Luke have been around for a long time. You’re attached to them.”

I’m tempted to tell her that it’s more than that. That I don’t look at Mason the same way I used to, that something shifted, and I’m no longer blind to just how attractive he is. I notice it every damn time we’re together, and while I should hate it. I don’t. The longer it goes on, the more I enjoy it. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I chew it along with a bite of dinner and swallow it down because I can’t feel this way. As much as I enjoy the idea of what could be, messes come when two people fornicate and share themselves.

I don’t want Mason to be my mess.

And I can’t be his.

She reaches a hand over to squeeze mine. “I can see the stiffness in your shoulders, honey. That little crease between your eyebrows that appears when you’re worried.”

My fingers move to rub the crease away. “I don’t have a crease.”

She arches a brow but ignores my comment. “You should be open about what you’re going through with him. I can’t imagine it’s easy for him either, but maybe it’s something you two can help each other through.”

“It’s not that easy,” I tell her.

“No?” She exhales a breath and releases my hand. “Maybe it isn’t. But do me a favor?”

I blow on a forkful of food. “What’s that?”

“Don’t let Mason leaving affect the special bond you two have. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of friendship, and your mind will want to link it to past traumas—another thing I learned from years of therapy,” she winks to lighten the mood, “but it’s not the case. Mason is moving to better his life. He’s not leaving you for good. He would never do that to you.”

I quirk a brow at her in a challenging way. “Everyone is possible of everything.”

She shakes her head, and her lips twist up in disagreement. “No. Not Mason. I watched him grow from a young boy to the man he is today. I see the way he looks at you.”

“He doesn’t look at me any sort of way, Mom,” I tell her, saying it more to convince myself because he definitely displayed a certain kind of reaction days ago.

“Lies. He cherishes what you two have. I’m willing to bet Luke does, too, even being all about that Layla girl you talk about. The three of you grew up together. That’s not something you can easily throw away.”

I hum and fork more food into my mouth as I mull it over. She’s right about one thing; my bond with them is solid and sound. Our only enemy is ourselves, and I worry that if Mason and I aren’t careful, we’ll be our own downfall.

After Mom and I finish eating, I help her tidy the kitchen. We find ourselves on the sofa soon after. When she falls asleep watching an episode of I Love Lucy, I scrawl out a goodbye note, tack it to the bulletin board by the front door, and head for the door, but not before snatching the envelope of baseball cards off the coffee table.

10

Mason

My feet push off the pavement in quick succession. I’m running late. Mackenzie texted me that she couldn’t wait any longer to order. I’m lucky that I’m getting the chance to even meet her for lunch, considering my schedule. I’m due to close out on three projects in the next six weeks, and I need to wrap them up before I leave for Texas. Earlier this week, I gave Richard my answer and have been preparing for it since.

“Damn it!” The back of my jacket flips into the air like a cape. I try to run faster, but I bump into another pedestrian, slowing me down. I reach out to grab the woman’s arm. She glares in my direction when I balance her with a hand and apologize. “Shit, I’m sorry!” Then I’m off again, telling her to have a good day as I sprint to the restaurant ahead.

I’m almost there.

So.

Close.

I’m huffing out breaths when I reach the corner eatery and swing the door open. I spot Mackenzie at one of the tall cocktail tables that line the windows on the other side of the place. I shimmy around an older couple to make it to her faster. Pulling my arms free from my jacket, I hook it on my chair and announce, “I’m here! I’m here!”

“I was starting to think you might not show.” She brings a spoonful of cheesy potato soup to her lips—her favorite of all time—blows on it, then eats a spoonful without so much as glancing at me.

I lift onto the chair and flip open the menu. “I have those three projects, and one is giving me an issue. Anyway, then Richard called me into his office to go over details for the move, so I got held up.” I sigh as blood pumps through my veins from my run here. “I’m sorry for being late. What’s good to eat here?”

When I look up from the menu, she’s finally watching me. She lifts another bite of soup to her mouth. “I already ordered for you.”

“What?” I glance down at the menu and look back at her. “Seriously?”

She nods, and I relax back into my chair. My eyelids fall shut, and my breathing slows. Sprinting took the wind out of me. I’m in decent shape, so it doesn’t take long until I can catch my breath normally, but I’m also relieved that I don’t have to think about yet another thing.

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