Page 19 of I Choose You

“Which, exactly?”

“Forget it.” I situate the handle in my hand and make it toward the office door. It’s the only way to get to the laundry room from the canine room. My lack of sleep ignites an irritation beyond what I’m used to. Impatience settles in my bones, and I pick up my pace.

She’s quick to spring to action, calling out for me to wait. “Relax, girl. I’m kidding.” She pulls open the door when she notices me struggling. “You are wound tight. You need this more than I thought.”

I make it through the narrow corridor and breach the threshold for the laundry area. “I thought about what you said.” I keep my thoughts about Mason top secret, tucked away in the lockbox of my brain. Like how the muscles in his forearms contract and expand when he makes a pot of coffee. Or the way he keeps his fingernails cut short and maintains their cleanliness. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve noticed the second one, but what can I say? It’s a turn-on. One that I’m not ready to share with a soul.

“And?” she presses. “What did you think about it?”

I drop the bucket to the floor in front of the ancient washer, then open the tiny compartment to pour in the detergent. “Just that you make a good point.”

She lets out an annoyed huff. I’m not trying to be short with her on purpose. I’m just watching what I say. If I tell her I have feelings for Mason, she’ll have a field day. She’d probably throw a party to celebrate.

Honestly, I’m really hoping the thoughts are stress induced. If another guy is there to satisfy the itch, my stress will drain along with any extra feelings I have about my best friend.

“Whatever.” She waves her arms in a grand gesture. “As long as you see you need it and you’re ready for all the good that’s about to come into your life.” She beams with sudden excitement and claps her hands. “You have no idea how thrilled I am that you’re finally ready to do this.”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” I lack the same level of enthusiasm. Because truly, I’m not sure if I am ready, but I know I can’t do this between Mason and me. I will not go down that dangerously tempting path. No matter how badly I want to at the moment.

My response dampens her mood, changing her upturned lips into a slash. She gives me a dirty look and moves to leave the laundry room. “Don’t get me wrong, I love your snippy side, but only when you’re not directing it at me.”

That makes two of us.

I’m on the verge of upchucking my breakfast and lunch, and my head is dizzy from the cramping in my abdomen. I’ve purposely spent less time with Mason this past week, and I miss him. I should be at home in comfortable clothing while spending time with one of my favorite people. Instead, I’m wasting a perfectly good Saturday night on a double date Nelly set up because I can’t keep my head separate from my heart.

I need this, but I’m not kidding when I say I’m on the verge of canceling. The entire drive, I’ve been wondering how I’m going to make it through the night when my mind is elsewhere, which only reminds me of the very reason I needed to get out of the house.

I turn to look out the rear window, noting the line of traffic behind us, then face forward in the back seat of my Uber. “Stop! This is it!” I yell out as the driver almost passes The Canary, a laid-back steakhouse that features live entertainment. He’s quick to slam on the breaks and veer over to the curb.

I pay using the app on my phone, then slip out of the car. I should have driven myself, but Nelly convinced me it would be better in the event we decide to drink or leave with our dates. As necessary as all this is, the thought of going home with a man on the first date makes my stomach recoil.

The Uber merges into traffic, and I make my way up the front steps of the restaurant. I have no clue what our dates look like since I wasn’t at Nelly’s cousin’s wedding, so I’m not about to search for them until Nelly arrives. Luckily, my phone chimes with a message from her a minute later.

Nelly: Be there in a minute. Hope you’re ready to get down and dirty, babe!

The last thing I’m thinking about is getting down and dirty. I’m so close to saying, fuck it and running down the street to catch up with my Uber. The idea of letting her take the reins of my love life—even if she still is unaware of my growing attraction when it comes to my best friend—is unsettling, and it makes me want to void the verbal contract we agreed to.

But I can’t. I’m desperate not to have these feelings for Mason so much that I’ll do anything to steer clear of them.

Nelly hops out of a car at the curb and hurries over to me. Straightaway, she peruses my high-waisted jeans that accentuate my curves and the basic sling crop top I’m wearing.

“You look hot.” She gives me a nod of approval with a subtle smile.

“Thanks, you do, too.” Nelly never looks less than. She’s dressed to impress. Her skin glistens from the body oil she uses religiously. Faux leather covers her skinny legs, and the strappy heels underneath give her outfit all the sass it needs. She’s stunning.

“You ready to knock the pants off this guy?”

I try to push away my nerves by shaking my hands out when Mason’s face comes to mind. “I shouldn’t have agreed to this.” This isn’t me. This isn’t something I normally do. Then again, I don’t normally feel a fire burning low in my belly whenever Mason so much as grazes me.

She loops her hand through the crook of my arm to encourage me, though I think she does it so I can’t run away. “Don’t think you’re bailing! You’ll be fine! They’re both nice and fine as fu—”

“Nelly, I am not fine.” I am dangerously close to wiggling my arm free to dash in the opposite direction.

I’m about to tell her the real reason behind why I agreed to this when she tugs on my arm and moves us toward the entrance. “Just remember to breathe. You deserve this!”

Live music penetrates our ears when we get to the hostess stand. Nerves jittery, I inhale one of the deepest breaths of my life. Nelly tries to distract me by sharing more about our dates, but I only get half of it.

“They are melt your panties hot. No, not your panties. Your entire body. Right down to the ground.” She wiggles her brows at me. “I picked good ones.”

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