Page 236 of Mountain Men Heroes

“Fuck. What are we going to do? Sawyer wasn’t wrong.” Dyson’s low voice stopped me in my tracks. I could hear the emotions roiling through his words.

“Do you think we’re wrong? About Clara?” Eeli’s voice was just as low and emotion-filled.

“No. We know what we feel when we are with her. That woman was meant to be ours.”

The breath I didn’t realize I held left me in a big huff at Dyson’s fast and firm response. Unfortunately, he didn’t leave things there.

“But I think Sawyer’s right that we might not be the best thing for her right now. We need to figure out this thing between us. We can’t drag her into this fucked up mess.”

“Shit.” Eeli’s curse was quiet but full of anger. “I don’t think I can stay away from her.”

Hope filled my chest. I hated that they had any doubts and I racked my brain for ways to reassure them I was just fine with working through their problems with them. The only important thing was that the three of us were together.

“We could reenlist,” Dyson said.

My blood ran cold.

“You want to go back to that?” Eeli asked, the same disbelief I felt making his voice rise.

“I don’t want to go back. But if it puts enough space between us and Clara while we figure this shit out, we should at least consider it. As long as we’re here, we won’t be able to stay away from her.”

Silence followed Dyson’s words. I braced a hand against the wall to help keep me up.

“You’re right, man.” Eeli’s voice sounded defeated and my hand flew to my mouth to keep back the cry that wanted to break from me.

I’d finally—finally—found where I belonged. Something I’d begun to fear would never happen to me. I’d been afraid something was wrong with me. Until the bond between Dyson and Eeli clicked. Something so magical it had me believing in, well, magic. Despite the uniqueness of our situation, and the fact my guys were still working through something, I felt complete for the first time in my life.

But maybe I’d been right before. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Why else would my men think running back to the horrors that left them broken was a better alternative than staying here and fighting for us?

Only when something warm and wet hit the hand covering my mouth did I realize I was crying.

“Clara?”

I looked up to see Sawyer standing outside his office at the end of the hallway.

Crap. Sawyer’s questions and accusations were the last thing I needed right now. I remembered all the words Sawyer hurled at us this morning. Words that pushed my men to consider going back to hell rather than stay here with me.

The anger, the fear, and the hurt churning through me formed a giant ball in my chest, so painful I couldn’t contain it another second. As it broke wide open, my eyes blurred with hot tears that came too fast for me to stop them. I didn’t trust myself to speak to Sawyer right now without getting violent, and I couldn’t face Dyson and Eeli with their words still ringing through my head.

There was only one thing I could do. I whirled and ran as fast as my legs would carry me. Tears streamed down my face. Sawyer yelled my name out, the sound of his boots hitting the floor in a flat-out run pushing me to race out the door and slam into my truck.

I backed up without really looking, lucky I didn’t hit anything as my tires sprayed up dirt and gravel. As I turned onto the road, I checked my rearview mirror to see Sawyer, Dyson, and Eeli crash out into the parking lot. Sawyer stood staring after me, but Dyson and Eeli didn’t waste a moment getting to Dyson’s SUV.

I ran the back of a hand over my cheeks, my movements jerky, and once again pressed my foot harder on the gas as I did my best to outrun the people who seemed determined to cause me pain.

Idrove aimlessly for a little while, avoiding all my usual spots. My thoughts tumbled and turned until I thought I’d lose my mind. At the forefront of everything was the idea that Dyson and Eeli might go back into the military and leave me behind.

That thought sent such piercing pain through my chest, I struggled to catch my next breath. I might have only just realized how I felt about them, but even with only a few days together I couldn’t imagine being apart. How could I survive with that empty pain inside me all the time?

I stared out the windshield and found myself driving past Pierson’s, a sporting goods place on the very edge of town. The sight of it made me remember Deacon Pierson, the owner, had called me earlier in the week to let me know he had some old towels and blankets and some food he’d collected for the shelter. I might as well stop in and get them now. Nobody would be looking for me there.

If they were even looking for me instead of running off to reenlist. If they would even take them. I pulled my visor down to check how big a mess I looked, rolling my eyes at my own ridiculous, childish thoughts.

“The only one who ran anywhere was you,” I told my reflection. I did my best to wipe away the tear tracks and smears of makeup under my eyes. With a sigh, I flipped the visor up. I’d done the best I could.

“Hey Deacon,” I called to the tall, bearded man behind the counter as I walked in. His gaze swung my way. His only response to my greeting was a chin lift and a blank stare.

I stopped dead. I don’t know how long I stood there holding Deacon’s stare, but I couldn’t look away. In his eyes, I suddenly saw my future.

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