Page 10 of Examining Ella

Big, bulky diapers.

“I can’t wear those in front of people,” she said, shaking her head as she stared unblinkingly at the package. “People will think I’m a freak.”

She’d seen plenty of other Littles in diapers when walking around the ship’s decks. She’d even seen some Littles being pushed in adult-sized strollers. She wouldn’t stand out one bit by wearing a diaper.

But that didn’t soothe her low self-esteem.

“Start small,” she said.

She nodded, her mind made up, and grabbed the shortalls.

That outfit was a good compromise.

She hurried and changed, ready to get back out and explore the vast vessel.

***

She was still nervous as she walked along one of the decks. It just felt so strange to be Little out in the open like that!

She stopped by a giant, swirling water slide and watched as happy, laughing Littles slid off it and into the landing pool. Maybe she should have worn her bathing suit, she thought, so she could take a turn on the slide, too.

But being exposed like that would only make her feel more self-conscious. Her body wasn’t built for showing off.

She walked on, but that self-doubt kept pace with her. It grew, too.

These Littles are prettier than me. Skinnier, too. Am I the oldest and fattest one here? Oh gosh. Maybe I should just ride out the rest of the cruise in my cabin. I’m sure they sell books somewhere. And I brought my Kindle. I can load up on naughty romances and just live vicariously through the characters. Maybe I can…”

The world started spinning as a wave of anxiety washed over her. She’d had panic attacks before—that’s part of what had led her to Dr. Kirk’s office—but she never got used to them. Each one seemed worse than the time before.

And this one was outright awful.

She tried to breathe deeply, but it was no use. She staggered a few steps and then went down. Thankfully, she fell right onto a soft chaise lounge near the pool.

She was out cold.

Chapter Eight

Bryan walked along the deck, hands in the pockets of his white shorts, smiling as he passed folks, greeting everyone with a cheery word.

The sun was shining. The ocean was deep and blue. There were laughing Littles all around. Life was pretty damn good.

But not as good as it could’ve been.

Ella Grant would have made it better.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the woman.

Try, damn it. Don’t get so caught up with a fantasy woman that you miss all the women right around you. There are dozens of Littles who came on this cruise hoping to meet a Daddy. One of them might just be your Little.

He reminded himself that Ella was not a fantasy. She was very real. She just happened to be his patient. And maybe not even a Little.

Maybe.

She gave off that energy, that was for sure. If he had to bet, he’d lay money down on the Little side.

The patient thing made it complicated, but not impossible. There were no rules against doctors dating patients. It wasn’t like a therapist with a client—which was a big no! Things were different for physicians.

He reminded himself to try and forget her, simply living in the moment and enjoying his semi-vacation.

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