Page 17 of Examining Ella

“Yes, sir.”

“I think that’s a good choice.” He helped her off the table and then held her underwear at her feet while she stepped into them. He slid them up her legs and over the bulky diaper. He stepped back, appraised her with a smile, and said, “Can you turn for me?”

She did so, feeling oh so bashful.

“Bend over.”

She obeyed.

He patted her bottom with playful smacks. “You know how to drive a Daddy wild, baby girl. I’ll say that about you.”

She giggled. She wasn’t sure the last time she’d driven a man wild. It felt good. And the fact that it was a Daddy? Even better.

Just how wild was she driving him? How far would it lead? She certainly wanted to find out. The cruise had taken a sudden unexpected yet welcome turn. She didn’t want it to end.

But she got dressed and left the ship’s sick bay. They walked side-by-side, hand-in-hand, to the store.

She hated to let go. But when she saw the vast array of toys, she had to run to them.

“Slow down, honey. Those toys will still be there if it takes you a few extra seconds to reach them. They aren’t going anywhere.”

“Yes, sir,” she said.

She saw a couple of other women—all dressed in a similar fashion as her—looking at some nearby toys. That self-consciousness crept back. They looked younger than her. They were definitely skinnier. Would Dr. Kirk want them instead?

Of course, they might already have a Daddy. Or Mommy. Or they didn’t want one. But the question remained: how long would it take before he realized there were prettier women on board than her? A lot prettier. Just parading around the boat. He wouldn’t have to look very long or hard to find them.

“What are you thinking about, cutie?”

“Just, uh, what toy I want.”

She could feel his eyes on her.

“I think you’re worried about something,” he said.

Oh crap! Can this guy read my mind? Or are Daddies just good at figuring this stuff out?

“I’m not worried,” she lied. But it wasn’t very convincing.

“Honey,” he said, his tone patient but a little stern, too. He looked past her and to the other Littles. Those women were oblivious to the fact that they were the center of attention. They went about looking at the toys as they chatted and giggled. He looked back to Ella and continued. “I wish you could see yourself as I see you. You’re beautiful. There’s no need to compare yourself to anyone else.”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. She could feel tears mounting behind her eyes. She’d had a lifetime of measuring herself next to others. It was a hard habit to break.

Yet somehow, with Dr. Bryan Kirk, she felt as if she could.

Maybe.

She nodded and then turned her focus back on the toys. “Look at this dolphin!” The excitement wasn’t fabricated. The sight of the cute plush doll had done wonders in easing her mood.

“It’s cute. You think it’s a boy or a girl?”

“A boy,” she said. “And his name is Dizzy. Dizzy the Dolphin.”

Dr. Kirk laughed. “Why Dizzy?”

“Because I got dizzy earlier,” she said. “Before I fainted. Now, if I ever feel dizzy like that again, I can hug him and he’ll get me through it.”

The doc smiled. “I think that’s a great idea. Why don’t you pick out another toy? You were awfully brave during your examination.”

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