Page 58 of Beautifully Savage Butterfly

“You can move your head. Don’t they make wheelchairs you can control that way?” Elio interjects.

“Yeah, and they cost a fortune,” I answer. “He just needs to get over himself and let me push his damn chair.”

“No,” Jack says stubbornly.

“Let’s drop it,” I suggest. It’s not an argument that’s going to be resolved tonight.

Jack lets the topic go, and Elio asks him about movies without skipping a beat. That’s a much safer subject, and it turns out they share a passion for obscure indie films. Elio’s words echo in my head for the rest of the visit, keeping my pulse quick and my stomach nervous. Luckily, they don’t need much input from me to keep the conversation going. Not that I would have much to add even if I wasn’t reeling. I haven’t had time to watch a movie in years.

When they’ve exhausted the topic of movies, Elio notices the bumblebee tattoo on my brother’s arm.

“Are you super into bees, or what?” he asks.

Jack looks down at the tattoo and I tense, waiting for his reaction. Since his injury, I’ve done everything I can to avoid the topic of his former life, our former life. It feels like it’s always lurking around the edges of every conversation though, just waiting to deliver a knockout blow to us both. A nostalgic kind of smile flutters on his face though.

“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. It’s Muhammad Ali,” he explains.

“So do you have a butterfly somewhere else?” Elio asks.

My brother laughs. “Nope. Check your boyfriend’s ass for that one.”

I cringe and Elio swivels in his chair to look at me with wide eyes and an amused grin.

“Are you serious? You have a butterfly tattoo on your ass?”

“I can’t believe you never noticed.” I chuckle.

“I’m usually pretty distracted when you’re naked, Boss.” His voice dips low, and Jack makes an exaggerated gagging sound.

“Please, spare me the details of your sex life.”

The tension eases out of me, and I manage to breathe without knots in my chest. Maybe I’ve been trying too hard to avoid talking about the past. Maybe Jack needs a little bit of normal from me to feel like his whole life didn’t end that night.

We launch into a fresh topic of conversation, and when Jack starts to get tired an hour or so later, I put a hand on Elio’s shoulder and jerk my head towards the door.

“Do you mind giving us a second?”

“Sure thing.” Elio stands up and slips out, leaving me alone with my brother.

“Alright, give it to me.” I make a bring it on gesture with my hands.

“You’re all grown up, O. You make your own decisions.” He sounds tired and resigned, but not angry. That’s more unsettling than if he just flat-out yelled at me.

“Since when?” I tease, and he snorts.

“Since a long damn time ago. If you like him, then he must be a good guy. Or… well… maybe not good, but…” His mouth twists in a wry smile and I make an amused sound in my throat.

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” I agree. “A lot of this shit is just so much more complicated than I wanted it to be, you know?”

“I know. I’m not mad, I promise.”

I let out a breath that’s been stuck in my throat since before we even walked in here tonight. “Thanks.” I lean over and kiss Jack on the forehead. “I love you, man.”

“You too. Now get out of here so I can sleep. Lying motionless for years has really taken it out of me,” he says dryly.

I ruffle his hair, and even if it’s the millionth time in five years, I still miss the way he used to take a swing at me when I would do it.

“And don’t think this whole thing distracted me from Sarah,” I say with a grin. “I want details when I stop by tomorrow.”

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