Page 110 of Accidental Roommates

“No, because that’s not what she wants.”

I set my soda down. “See, this is where you went wrong. By not telling her what you want, she assumed you meant you didn’t want marriage and kids at all, or not until way off in the future. If you told her your timeline and explained why you want to wait, maybe she’d be okay with it.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t see her changing her mind.”

“You’ll never know until you talk to her. I bet she’d be willing to wait a few years to have kids if waiting meant she got to be with you.”

“If that were true, then why didn’t she just ask me about this, instead of breaking up with me?”

“She shouldn’t have to ask. You should’ve told her. When she explained why she didn’t see a future with you, that was your chance to tell her the future you both want isn’t that different. But you kept quiet so she left.”

“I’m such an idiot,” he mutters.

“So am I.” I sit back, folding my arms over my chest. “Jace gave me a chance to tell him how I feel and I blew it. I’m so stupid.”

“Sounds like he blew it too. If he wanted you to be more than a roommate, he should’ve told you, not kept quiet.”

“I think he tried to tell me, but I didn’t let him.”

“But that’s not your fault. Nikki called and interrupted him.”

“I could’ve talked to him later. Like that night, or the next day.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Because I was angry. I was angry he took off to be with Nikki after we’d just had a great night together. It made me think he’s not over her. If all it takes is one phone call for him to drop everything and do whatever she tells him, then what chance do Jace and I have as a couple? I don’t want to be his second choice. And I don’t want to date him and then have him go back to Nikki later.”

“But didn’t he tell you it was a mistake to go over there? That all they did was fight?”

“Yes, but that was their relationship. They fought all the time, and yet he stayed with her. It’s what he’s used to. So it’s entirely possible he’d go back to her.”

“Not if he had you.”

“But I ruined any chance of that happening. When he tried to talk to me, I pretended I’d moved on with you.”

“You used me,” he says, pretending to be annoyed.

“Not really. I mean, we did go on a date that week.” I pause. “But I guess I kind of used you later.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” He looks down at his phone. “I’m nervous about calling her. I don’t know what to say.”

“Just tell her all the stuff you’ve told me. About how much you love her and want to be with her and can’t imagine your life without her. I know it’s scary telling her that, knowing she might reject you, but you have to do it. If you don’t, you’ll never be able to move on.”

He nods. “I know.”

“As for me, I think it’s too late.”

“Why? Haven’t you been telling me this whole time about how it’s never too late?”

“Yeah, but it’s different with Jace and me. You and Maddie were in an actual relationship. Jace and I never had that. We didn’t even get a chance to date. All we’ve ever been is friends.”

“You’re making excuses.”

“Excuses for what?”

“For why you can’t be with Jace. When the truth is, you’re just afraid you’ll get hurt again.

“I’m not afraid. Getting hurt is part of falling in love. I’ve accepted that. It’s not what’s keeping me from being with Jace.”

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