Page 62 of Home With You

"I can't move. I leased my apartment for the year. And I like it here. I just don't like the job."

"Then look for another job. It's a big city. You might be able to find something."

"Maybe, but it's not going to look good if I quit this job after only a few weeks. I feel like I have to stick it out for a year."

"Why do you hate it so much?"

"My boss. The partners. How they run the firm. It's all about money instead of what's right. That's not why I went into law."

"So what are you going to do? Be miserable until you can quit?"

"Probably."

"That sucks.

"Yeah, but at least at night I can come here. This is the best part of my day."

I laugh. "Yeah, right."

"It is." He looks at me. "It'd be even better if you didn't hide in the tent every night."

Why does he stay stuff like that? And why does he look at me that way? Like he thinks there's something between us? Okay, I know there's something between us, but I don't want there to be. I don't want to feel this way. It's too good. Too addictive. It makes me want more of him and that's the last thing I need. I've already done this once. I fell for a guy. Became addicted to how he made me feel. It made me careless. I didn't pay attention to what was going on and ended up on the streets.

I know Miles isn't Rob but I don't want to rely on him, or any guy, ever again. I need to get my life in order, on my own, before I can even consider a relationship again.

Miles tilts his head up, gazing up at the dark sky. He reaches over and takes my hand.

"What are you doing?" I ask, trying to pull away.

He holds on tighter. "It's dark."

"Yeah? So?"

"You know I get scared in the dark."

"That was a lie. You're not scared."

"Just go with it, okay?" He slides his fingers between mine and rests our joined hands on the arm of his chair. "This isn't so bad, is it?"

I don't answer, but the truth is, it's not bad. It's perfect. I love holding his hand. It's large and strong and his grip is just tight enough to make me feel safe, and I never feel safe in this alley, or on the streets. I haven't felt safe for months. Until I met Miles.

It's proof I can't trust myself. I shouldn't feel safe with a guy I've only known a few weeks. He could be hiding some deep dark secret, or be hoping I'll eventually give him sex in exchange for all the stuff he's bought me.

Knowing that's possible, I shouldn't trust him, and I shouldn't let him hold my hand. But I do, because now is one of the few times I've felt happy since being homeless. And I could use some happiness, even if it's just these few minutes sitting in the alley with a guy I don't really know but who seems to know me, and knows that this is just what I needed.

14

Miles

"How's the job?" Greg asks as I toss my laptop bag on the couch. It's Friday and I just got home from work.

"Still sucks." I go in the kitchen and grab a beer from the fridge. It's Friday and I could use a beer after the day I've had.

"What are you going to do?"

"Take it a day at a time and hope it gets better." I pop open the beer and take a swig.

"Why don't you look for other jobs?"