Page 60 of Home With You

I glance at him. "Don't make me say it."

"Go ahead. I'm curious. Why do I come here?"

"To annoy me."

He turns to me. "I annoy you?"

I sigh. "No. Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's just that I told you there could never be anything between us and yet you keep coming back. So it's not you, specifically, I'm annoyed with, but the fact that you won't listen."

"So we can't even be friends?"

Grabbing a napkin, I wipe my hands and reach for my soda. "Why would you want to be friends with me? Do you really like hanging out in an alley?"

"I'd rather take you out somewhere but you refuse to go with me."

"Going out means going on a date." I take another slice of pizza, then close the box, wanting to save it for later.

"It doesn't have to be a date. We can just go out as friends."

I point to myself. "You really think I want to go out like this?"

"What? I think you look great."

"Are you kidding? My clothes are dirty. My hair's dirty. I can't shower."

"If you don't mind me asking, what do you do about that? The shower thing. Do you have someplace to go?"

I hate talking about this. It's embarrassing and just another reminder of how different we are and why he needs to find someone else.

"The bathroom in the coffee shop."

"There's a shower in there?"

"No." I grab another napkin and wipe off my hands. "I just use the sink and paper towels. Washing my hair is hard because the sink is so low and it's really small but it's better than not washing it at all."

"What about Gladys?"

"She does the same. I help her with her hair but she only washes it once a week."

"And you said Zoe washes your clothes?"

"Only if we ask her to. But I feel bad when she does it. She has enough laundry to do with all her kids' clothes. We usually just wash our clothes in the bathroom."

"I could take them."

"Take what?"

"Your laundry. I have a washer in my apartment that barely gets used. All my work clothes go to the dry cleaner so I really don't use my washer much."

"You're not doing my laundry."

"Then you can do it. Just come over and use my machine. I'll give you a key. You could use my shower too if you want. You could go while I'm at work. Might as well have someone using the place while I'm gone. Gladys could go there too."

"We're not doing that," I say, kicking around the loose pieces of concrete under my feet.

"Why not?"

"Because it's wrong. And I told you, we don't take handouts."

---