Page 40 of Home With You

"Raine, I was kidding. What you're wearing is fine. It doesn't matter to me. All I want is to spend time with you."

She looks like she's about to agree to it but then doesn't, blinking her eyes like she's holding back tears.

"Raine, what is it?"

She looks down at herself. "They won't let me in the restaurant. Not like this. They'll be able to tell. They kick people like me out."

"They're not going to kick out a paying customer."

She pauses, then says, "I don't want to go, okay? I mean, I do, but I can't."

"Because of your clothes? Raine, if that's the reason, we'll go get you different clothes. Whatever you want."

"No," she says, backing away from me. "You can't do that."

"Do what?"

She turns her back to me. "You can't buy me stuff. If you do, it'll be just like—"

I walk around to face her. "Just like what?"

She shakes her head. "Never mind."

"Raine, I know you're not telling me something. What is it? Why are you acting this way?"

She sighs. "Just go away."

"I don't want to. And I don't think you want that either. You're just scared or angry or both, but it's not because of me. It's because of something you're not telling me."

"You just met me," she says, rolling her eyes. "And you think you know everything about me?"

"No, but I want to." I take a breath. "It's one night. One dinner. I had a really shitty day at work and this was the only thing keeping me going. I've been looking forward to it all day. Can you at least go for me? So I'm not sitting home alone in my apartment thinking about my shitty day?"

She half smiles. "You were looking forward to this?"

"All freaking day. I swear. So you canceling on me is going to make today even worse."

She hesitates. "Okay, fine. But do you have anything I could wear? Like maybe a t-shirt in those gyms clothes you have in your car?"

"I do, but it's going to be huge on you."

"I don't care." She tugs on her shirt. "I've been wearing this for days. I don't want to wear it to dinner."

"Can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, that's fine."

"Go ahead."

"Is that all you have?" I look down at her clothes.

"I have some other stuff but I need to wash it. Zoe lets Gladys and me keep a box in the coffee shop with some clothes and whatever else we don't want to leave outside. I don't have much but I have another pair of jeans and a few t-shirts."

"Where do you go to wash them?"

"The bathroom at the coffee shop. Or sometimes Zoe will take them home with her to wash, but we don't like making her do that so we try to clean them ourselves."

"You know, there's nothing wrong with letting people help, especially if they offer."

"You'd think it'd be easy like that, but it's not. When you're out here, you've already lost everything. Sometimes just taking care of the few possessions you have is the only thing that makes you feel halfway normal. Like everyone else."

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