I wish I hadn't said that. Why did I say that?
"Brockton. Is that your last name?"
"Yeah, but don't go looking me up online," I say in a joking tone, although I'm not at all joking.
"Why not? Are you hiding some deep dark secret?"
"Just don't, okay? I'm not kidding."
"Raine, you're freaking me out a little here. What exactly aren't you telling me?"
I should just tell him. He's going to look me up when he gets home and then he'll know. Maybe knowing this will keep him away from me, which is not what I want but it's for the best. For both of us.
"Raine, what is it? You can tell me."
"I was arrested."
"For what?"
"Breaking and entering. Attempted robbery."
"Was this recently?"
"No, I was nineteen. My friend and I broke into a neighbor's house. I don't even remember doing it. I was too out of it."
"Drugs?" he asks, looking at me.
I don't look back. I'm too ashamed. "I was an addict, just like my mom."
"What kind?"
"Pain meds. The kind people get hooked on. I'd been in a car accident that year and hurt my back. The doctor wouldn't give me anything for the pain but my friend did. He gave me pills and I took them, never thinking I'd get addicted."
"Doesn't sound like much of a friend."
"He thought he was helping me. He said he took them himself to help with a shoulder injury. Anyway, we broke into the house to get more drugs and got caught. He ended up getting convicted and I ended up being let go. The news did a story on it so now my name is linked with that online." I look at him. "You know how hard it is to get a job when someone looks you up online and the first thing they see is a story about your drug addiction and arrest?"
"So that's why you're on the streets? No one will give you a job?"
"That's part of it. I don't want to get into the rest."
"Maybe some other time."
I stare at him. "Other time?"
"Yeah. Maybe when we get to know each other better you can tell me more."
"Wait, I'm confused."
"About what?"
"Why you'd still want to see me. This is when you say 'nice meeting you but I have to go' and then run out of the tent, far away from the homeless drug addict."
"You're not an addict. That was your past."
"Doesn't matter. You still shouldn't be here. Not after what I told you."
"And yet here I am." He smiles and it makes me smile back.