Page 64 of Anyone But Her

"Birdie, come on. It doesn't matter."

"My clothes? Have you said something looks good on me when it doesn't?"

"A few times, but only because you get really mad if I don't like something you're wearing."

"That's not true!"

"The blue shorts with the pelicans all over them?"

"Okay, yes, but I only got mad because you didn't even give them a chance. Pelicans were supposed to be in that year. Maybe they would've looked better if I paired them with a different shirt. I'll never know because after your stupid brother laughed at them I never wore them again."

Birdie has no fear when it comes to fashion. She'll wear something crazy and say she's making a fashion statement. Cal always teases her about it, which seems to bother her more than if I do it.

"And your hat phase," I say, reminding her of the three months back in ninth grade when she wore hats every day. They were big sun hats and she'd wear them with giant sunglasses. She said it was her celebrity look and that all the major actresses wore hats and sunglasses.

"There was nothing wrong with those hats."

"Except that they were so big you kept knocking into people." I laugh. "Remember when your hat hit Mr. Webber and he sent you to the principal's office?"

"Yes. That's why I stopped wearing them." She laughs. "I have worn some pretty bad stuff, haven't I?"

"It's what makes you the Birdie I know and love. Now back to this problem with Luke."

"It doesn't sound like a problem to me. It sounds like you two are going to have a really hot summer. When are you going to have sex with him?"

"Birdie! I'm not having sex with him. I'm not even supposed to be thinking of him that way!"

"But you are. And he's thinking that way about you. I'd be willing to place a bet that you two will hook up before the end of the summer."

"If that happened my dad would not only kick Luke out of the house, he'd kill him! And Cal would help!"

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm calling you. Should I just try to completely avoid Luke and not talk to him?"

"That would definitely seem suspicious, so no. I say just act normal around him. No giggling. No twirling of your hair. Batting of your eyes."

"Yeah, because those are my go-to flirting techniques."

"You know what I mean. Try not to give any indication that you like him when you're around your family."

"I'll try, but what about when we're alone?"

"You should probably make sure that doesn't happen. Based on what happened today, the next time you're alone with him you might end up having sex."

"We won't. We're not ready for that. I barely know him!"

"You had weeks and weeks of deep, soul-baring conversations."

"We talked about stuff, yes, but I wouldn't call it soul baring."

"You're also in love and love leads to sex. Actually the sex usually comes first but—"

"We're not in love. And you're not helping."

"I already told you what to do. You just won't listen."

"Then recap it for me."

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