Page 27 of One Night

"Now that you know who he is, you really don't want to see him again?"

"No. It would ruin the memory. Did you see how many girls were up there screaming his name? I don't want to remember him that way, with other girls hanging all over him. I want to remember him with me. Just the two of us, and the night we spent together."

"You spent the whole night with him?"

"Most of it. We fell asleep, and just as the sun was coming up, I snuck out."

"You left without saying goodbye? That's kind of mean."

"It's not mean. It's every guy's dream. He got sex and never has to see me again."

"But it sounds like he really wanted to see you again."

"He was probably just saying that to be nice." I shrug. "Doesn't matter. I'm not going to see him again. Besides, I've moved on. I have Matt now."

And it's true. I have Matt, a great guy who deserves a better girlfriend than one who keeps thinking about some other guy. From now on, I'm going to be that girlfriend. I'm going to stop thinking about Dylan and focus on Matt.

The problem is, seeing Dylan tonight only made me want him more.

Chapter Seven

October

Amber

"I'm sorry, but this just isn't working," I say to Matt, my voice shaking because I feel so bad about breaking up with him. He's been a great boyfriend. Taking me out to dinner. Buying me flowers. Calling when he says he will. But there's still no spark. No chemistry.

I've tried to create that chemistry. Candlelit dinners at my apartment. Sexy lingerie. Even a few bedroom toys. But nothing has worked. He just doesn't excite me. I still blame Dylan for that. After experiencing what I felt with Dylan, I can't help but compare that to my experience with Matt, which doesn't even come close to what I felt with Dylan. Now I'm worried it won't just be Matt, but that every guy I date won't compare to Dylan. My night with him might've ruined me for anyone else.

Matt sighs. "I get what you're saying. We're good as friends but...it seems like you're never really there when we're...you know, intimate."

"Yeah." I glance down at my hands. "I'm sorry about that. I really am. I tried, I just..."

"Amber." He puts his hand on mine. "You don't have to be sorry. If it's not there, it's not there. There's nothing wrong with that."

He's so understanding, so sweet, that I feel even worse about this.

I look up at him. "I still really like you. I know it's a total cliché to say we could still be friends, but I wish we could. I'm going to miss talking to you."

"Cliché or not, we can still be friends, at least until you find someone else and he tells you we can't be friends anymore."

I smile at him. "Or until you find someone. You'll probably find someone before I do."

"Probably not. I work so much I don't have time to go out and meet people."

We're quiet for a moment and all I can think about is Dylan. Whenever I imagine myself with someone else, it's always him.

"Can I ask you for some advice?" I shouldn't tell him this but the fact that I want to just shows how much I value his friendship and his opinion.

"Sure. Go ahead."

I realize how insensitive it would be for me to bring this up now, after just breaking up with him, so I say, "Forget it. It's not the right time."

"Amber, just say it. We're friends, remember?"

"I know, but I feel like it's the wrong time to bring this up."

"Is this about some other guy?" he asks cautiously.