Page 20 of One Night

Looking at the blouse, I remember how I practically ripped the buttons trying to get it off as Dylan and I stumbled into the bedroom, racing to get to the bed. Then later, after we'd done it, we both got dressed and he laid beside me. He kissed me as his hand slowly undid the top button of the blouse.

I close my eyes, remembering how it felt, his lips on mine, his fingers brushing against my skin as he continued to slowly undo the buttons.

A shiver skitters through me as my arousal builds. I can practically feel his body pressing against mine. I can hear his voice whispering in my ear.

My eyes remain closed, the blouse falling to the floor as I get lost in the memory of that night. The way Dylan touched me, his hands caressing my body. The way it felt when he—

Music blares from the living room and I'm startled back to reality. Back to the present. My eyes pop open and I hear talking. It's a commerical. Kira must've turned on the TV.

I quickly grab my blouse from the floor and shove it in the back of my closet, right next to the skirt I wore that night. I haven't worn either of them since. I haven't even washed them. I couldn't. They still have the slight hint of Dylan's cologne, which rubbed off on my clothes that night.

What is wrong with me? I shouldn't be thinking about that night. Or about Dylan. I should be thinking about Matt and the date we're about to go on.

Why can't I get Dylan out of my head? I have a boyfriend now. A nice, caring boyfriend who treats me well, and yet I'm still thinking about some guy I had a one-night stand with. I try not to. I swear, I do. But then something will remind me of him, like that blouse, and my mind goes back to that night.

I should throw out that blouse, and the skirt. Maybe that would help me forget that night. Shoving the hangers aside, I reach to the back of the closet and grab the blouse again. I hold it up, knowing I should toss it but unable to do it.

I can't get rid of it. I should, but I can't. Not yet.

I hang it back where it was then shove my other clothes in place, hiding the blouse and the skirt from view. That's good enough for now.

Searching for the black dress, I finally find it and hold it up in front of the mirror. It's short and fitted. Matt will love it. He loves it when I dress sexy. Only problem is, wearing this will make him want to do things. Things I'm not ready to do.

Matt and I haven't had sex yet. Whenever he tries, I shut him down, telling him I'm not ready. But I don't know why I'm not ready. I've dated him for over a month. We've gone out a lot. Talked a lot. Gotten to know each other. He's a great guy and I'm attracted to him. I'm just not feeling that spark when we're together. I keep thinking I'll feel it at some point but so far I haven't.

Part of me blames Dylan for that. The way he made me feel that night was unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was magical. Perfect. And because of that, it messed me up and now I expect to feel that way with Matt, even though I know it's not realistic.

I need to force myself to stop thinking about Dylan and that night and return to reality where nice guys like Matt should be enough. More than enough. I need to be happy with Matt and stop putting off sex with him and just do it. Who knows? Maybe the sex will be great.

I hear the channels changing on the TV out in the living room. Kira and Matt are probably out of things to talk about and getting bored. I check the clock. I've been in here for fifteen minutes and I'm still not dressed and haven't done my hair.

I change into the dress then go in the bathroom to fix my hair. After another fifteen minutes, I'm ready. As I walk out to the living room, Matt sees me and smiles.

"You look great," Matt says as he gets up from his chair.

"Thanks!" I go over and give him a quick kiss. "Ready to go?"

Kira gets up from the couch. "I think I'll change my shirt."

"Okay." I smile, happy that she's agreed to wear something else. "We'll wait."

Matt sighs, in a joking way. "Is this going to be another half hour?"

"No, I'll be quick." Kira hurries down the hall to her room. Minutes later, she returns, wearing a fitted black t-shirt and different jeans. It's not great but it's way better than what she had on before. "Okay, I'm ready."

"See?" Matt says to me. "It's possible to get ready fast." He gives me a kiss.

"Maybe, but don't get your hopes up." I loop my arm around his and we head to the door.

We take Matt's car and when we get to the bar, Matt drops Kira and me off at the door, then goes to park. He knows the heels I'm wearing hurt my feet and he didn't want me to have to walk too far. He's so considerate.

When we get inside the bar, Matt pays the cover charge for all three of us. It's another considerate gesture that makes me feel guilty for even thinking about Dylan earlier.

"It's freezing in here," I say, shivering as the air conditioner blows ice cold air out of the vent right above me.

Matt puts his arm around me. "You want to go back and get a sweater or something?"

"Could we? I know it's a pain to go all the way back but—"

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