Page 119 of One Night

Amber

"When I'm in love, I'll let you know," I tell them. "Now let's get out of here and go to the movies."

When we get there, we all agree romance movies of any kind are banned. The last thing we want to do is watch a story about some happy couple, then go home to parents who hate each other. But what I didn't realize until today is that it's surprisingly hard to find movies that don't involve some kind of love story. Action films, sci-fi, comedies. Almost all genres of movies include a love story. That left us choosing a cartoon, but then halfway through the movie the damn duck ends up falling in love. So you can't even escape love in a cartoon!

Later that night, I call Dylan. He left me messages all day but I didn't want to call him back when I was in a bad mood and feeling down on love. Unfortunately, I still feel that way but I can't avoid him forever.

"Hey," I say when he answers. "I'm sorry I took so long to get back to you."

"Don't worry about it. I know you got a lot going on. So how are you doing?"

"Not great. My dad took off earlier today and hasn't come back. I guess he's staying at his apartment. My sisters and I went to a movie and when we got home my mom was asleep in her room. I think she's depressed. We all are."

"God, I'm so sorry. You sure you don't want me to drive out there?"

"Dylan, that's sweet, but no. I need to spend time with my sisters. Britt's really struggling. I need to give her all my attention right now."

"I understand." He pauses. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

I miss him so much it scares me. For years, I wanted to feel this way. To feel this deep connection with someone and want to be with him all the time. But now? I don't know what I want. I definitely don't want to go through what my mom is going through right now. Alone and sad and locked away in her room, probably crying herself to sleep. And my dad? Who knows what he's doing or how he's feeling. He hides his emotions but I know he, too, must be suffering.

When I was younger, I remember my dad coming home with little gifts for my mom. Sometimes it was flowers. Sometimes a box of candy. Once it was a purse that she really wanted but didn't buy because she thought it was too expensive. My dad surprised her with it for no reason at all. It wasn't a birthday or anniversary. He just wanted to make her happy. So how do they go from that to where they are now?

I could imagine Dylan doing all those things for me. Bringing me flowers and candy and buying me special gifts. In fact, he's already sent me flowers, several times, saying it was one of his romantic gestures. And he still writes me letters. Sweet, funny, beautiful letters that I keep tucked away in a shoebox and read over and over again.

He hasn't said it yet, but I think he loves me. Just like I love him. That should make me happy but instead it makes me panicked, thinking this happy state we're in now is the peak of our relationship and will soon begin a slow gradual decline until we fall out of love. Or maybe the decline won't begin right away. Maybe we'll keep dating and eventually move in together and then it will happen, and it'll happen so gradually that we won't even recognize it and be able to stop it.

I feel like that's what happened with my parents. Their love for each other just gradually went away without them even noticing. And now it's gone. Completely gone.

I hear Dylan's voice again. "Do you want to talk about this or are you sick of it? Because we can talk about something else."

"Something else. Please."

He knows me so well. He knows when I'm happy or sad or stressed or tired and he reacts accordingly, knowing what I need. It's like he could sense I was all talked out when it came to my parents and that I needed a break.

"So after Christmas dinner," Dylan says, "I suggested we go to a movie. Gramps didn't want to go but we made him. My mom insisted we see a family movie because she doesn't like my brother hearing curse words even though he hears them all the time at school. Anyway, we ended up seeing a cartoon."

I laugh. "We saw that one too. The one with the duck?"

"Yeah. The duck who fell in love with the rabbit. Cross-species romance. Very taboo in the animal kingdom. I told my mom that was way worse than a few curse words."

I laugh again. Only Dylan could make me laugh when I'm feeling so sad and depressed.

"And then," he continues, "near the end of the movie, Gramps had a coughing fit. He wouldn't stop so we had to get up and leave. My mom was freaking out, thinking Gramps was really sick or choking or something, but then we found out he was sucking on an atomic fireball."

"The candy?"

"Yeah, my brother got some in his Christmas stocking. He loves those things. Anyway, Gramps thought they were just cherry-flavored candies so he stuck a few in his pocket and started eating one during the show. It was so hot he had to spit it out but the fiery aftereffects had him coughing so hard he couldn't stop."

"He's never eaten a fireball?"

"Guess not. He's diabetic so he's not supposed to have candy but he always cheats and steals candy from people at the retirement home. Anyway, going back to the movie, the coughing isn't even the worst part."

"What else happened?"

"Gramps was coughing so hard, he couldn't control his bodily functions."

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