Page 81 of Holding On

"Is that you?" He points to a photo on the wall next to the TV. It's a picture of my dad, Mike, and me. It was taken at Mike's high school graduation and is one of the few photos we have of the three of us together. I looked a lot different back then. My hair was short and I'd dyed it blond. My friend dyed it for me and left the color on too long. The chemicals completely fried my hair so I had to cut it short. That was my last attempt at ever trying to color my own hair.

"Yeah, that's me with Mike and my dad."

Ethan leans forward to get a closer look. "It's strange seeing you with blond hair."

"It wasn't supposed to be that blond. My friend forgot to set the timer for the color and she left it on too long."

He sits back and smiles. "You wanted to be a blond?"

I kiddingly shove his arm. "Don't make fun of me. It was a phase I was going through."

"Was it for a guy?"

"Yes," I mutter, ashamed to admit that.

"Did you go out with him?"

"No. He wasn't interested. He was on the football team and only dated cheerleaders."

"And you weren't a cheerleader," he confirms.

"I tried out but didn't make it. I'm not coordinated enough and I couldn't remember the routines they taught us."

"If he only dated cheerleaders then why'd you try so hard to get his attention?"

"Because that's what girls do at that age. We do stupid things to get a guy's attention."

"I would've dated you."

I let out a laugh. "Yeah, right." I motion to the photo. "Did you see how skinny I was? I didn't even have boobs back then."

He glances at the picture. "You were still cute. I totally would've dated you."

"I don't believe you. I bet you were just like Lance. That's his name. The guy I wanted to date. I bet you only dated cheerleaders."

"I did, but it's not like it was intentional. It was just that they were always around, going to the games, going to football parties, so it made sense that we'd hook up."

By 'hook up' I'm sure he's referring to sex and not just dating. With his good looks, money, and talent on the football field, he can get sex whenever he wants. He has girls lining up to give it to him.

So what does that mean for me? Am I just another girl he'll have sex with, then forget about? And if so, am I okay with that? Given the feelings I'm starting to have for Ethan, I don't know if I am.

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