Page 71 of Holding On

"People are watching me. Wondering how fast I'm healing. When I'll be able to play again. It's too much pressure. It's just easier to stay here."

"You can't hide in here forever. You'll be back in school in August."

"Classes don't start till September. By then I'll be off the crutches."

"But don't you have to go to football practice in a few weeks? Even if you can't play, don't you still have to be there?"

"I don't know."

Actually, I do know. She's right. I'm supposed to be there, but I don't want to be. I don't want to sit on the sidelines watching my team practice without me.

"Are you hungry?" I ask, changing the subject. "We could go find something to eat. My girlfriend stocked the fridge." I smile at her, loving the sound of calling her my girlfriend.

She smiles back. "So now I'm your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, so tell your brother. Then maybe he won't make such a big deal about you staying over."

"I didn't agree to stay over."

"Then I'll have to keep working on that." I kiss her. "So what do you think? Are you hungry?"

"I could use a snack. And then I really should clean something. I feel guilty for not doing anything." She turns and gets out of bed.

"You work too hard."

She just laughs, but it's true. She works harder than anyone I know and she doesn't complain about it. It's admirable, and another reason I like her.

We find some leftover pizza in the fridge and each have a slice. As she's rinsing off the plates in the sink, I come up behind her and kiss the side of her neck. "Spend the weekend with me."

She shakes her head, smiling. "I can't. I have stuff to do."

"Like what?"

"Laundry. Get groceries. Clean the apartment."

"Those things don't take long. Come on. Stay with me, at least for a day. And maybe Friday night?"

She spins around. "I could probably make Friday night work. And I'll spend Saturday with you. But Sunday I have to go home and do stuff."

If that's all she'll give me, I'll take it. I just want to spend time with her. I'm finally feeling like I have some life in me again instead of dragging through the day. And it's all because of Becca.

***

Friday night, I wait for Becca to get off work. It's almost midnight, which is usually when she leaves. I wish I could drive. I'd go pick her up. I feel like she's not safe walking to her car this late at night. She said the singing cook guy walks her out, but if I'm remembering him correctly, he's so out of shape most anyone could take him down.

My phone rings. It's Derek, one of the guys on the team.

"Derek, what's up?" I answer. "How's your summer?"

"Freaking awesome. Spent last week in Miami. It was hotter than hell but I drank and got laid so all in all it was a good trip." He laughs. "How about you? Been doing anything?"

"Not really."

"Coach been by?" he asks in a tone that implies he already knows the answer and is testing me to see if I'll lie.

"Yeah, he's been by. I just haven't been in the mood to talk to him."

Coach shows up here at least once a week but I never answer the door. I don't want to deal with him.

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