Page 50 of Holding On

"It's where I sat last night."

"But now we're friends. Friends who've shared intimate details about bunk beds and car rides and umbrellas."

"What are you getting at?"

"Good friends sit next to each other."

"Um, okay." I get up and move over to the couch, but keep a whole seat cushion between us.

The movie begins. It's a comedy. I brought it because I thought Ethan could use some cheering up. When I came here last Thursday he seemed so down. He's better now, and I wonder if that's because I've been spending time with him or if he was just having a bad day on Thursday.

"Get a clue, dumbass," Ethan says. I look over and see that he's talking to the character in the movie. "She is so not into you."

I laugh. "You talk to the characters?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I do that too. Drives my brother crazy."

"A couple years ago I dated this girl who got so mad when I talked during a movie that she got up and left. I knew then that she wasn't the girl for me."

"Most guys I've dated don't care, but they don't participate, which is kind of a bummer. It's more fun when you're both doing it."

He motions to the TV. "Then join in. What do you have to say to Delia?"

Delia is the female lead. She works at a zoo and is in love with Eddie, the guy who works in the lion cage, but he has no interest in her. Vince, the 'dumbass' Ethan was referring to, loves Delia but she only sees him as a friend.

"Eddie's an idiot," I say to Delia. "You could do so much better. You should give Vince a chance. You could at least go on a date with him."

"Is that what you do?" Ethan asks.

I turn to him. "What?"

"Do you go on dates with guys you're not really interested in?"

"No. I don't want to get their hopes up. But I think Delia secretly likes Vince, which is why she should at least go on a date with him."

"When was your last date?"

"I'm not sure." I stop to think, then remember my last date was with Nathan, the guy I met at the car wash. "Wow, has it really been that long?"

"How long?"

"My last date was almost six months ago."

"You couldn't find anyone to date, or what?"

"I haven't really been looking. I haven't had time."

He pats the spot next to him. "Come here."

I shouldn't get that close to him, but of course I do. Because I want to. And my desire to be near him wins out over my head telling me not to.

"Go for it or hold back?" he asks.

"What does that mean?"

"If you're attracted to someone, and want to act on that attraction, are you more likely to go for it, or hold back?"

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