Page 150 of Holding On

Chapter Twenty-Six

Becca

When I get to work, I slam my purse on the table in the break room, still beyond furious with Ethan. He's so completely clueless. He kicks me out of his house, then doesn't even bother to call me and just shows up with flowers, assuming I'll forgive him?

Well, he's wrong. That was his last chance and he blew it. I'm done forgiving him. I've done it far too many times and I'm not doing it again. If he had opened up to me, explained what was wrong, then yes, maybe I would've forgiven him. But he didn't do that. Instead he refused to tell me what's bothering him because he doesn't trust me. And what's a relationship without trust? Nothing. Which means my relationship with Ethan is over.

"What's wrong?" Tina asks, turning away from the mirror where she was fixing her hair.

"Ethan. That's what's wrong."

"What'd he do?" she asks, as she watches me fight with my apron, which I put on inside out and am now trying to correct.

"He kicked me out of his house. AGAIN!" I stop messing with my apron and look at her. "That was the third time he's kicked me out of his house. I'm his freaking girlfriend! I was about to have sex with him! And he kicks me out!"

"Why?"

I toss my hands in the air. "Who the hell knows? He won't tell me! He keeps everything a big secret so I never know what's going on with him. One minute he's sweet and kind and the next he's quiet and moody, or yelling at me. And he won't tell me why. I hate it. I can't be with someone like that."

"So now what?"

"I broke up with him."

"Like for good?"

"Yes. I'm done. This is a deal breaker. If he doesn't trust me enough to tell me stuff, then we're done." I fumble with the strings of my apron, attempting to tie them.

"Isn't that a little extreme?" She leans back against the wall, her arms crossed in front of her.

"Extreme? He kicked me out of his house!"

"Maybe he just needed some space. You guys have been spending a lot of time together."

"You're taking his side? Seriously?" I yank on my apron strings, which are now all knotted up because I tied them wrong.

"Okay, calm down." Tina comes over and takes my hands away from my apron and looks at me. "Ethan's a guy. Guys do stupid things. Really stupid things. That's the first thing you need to know. Second is that guys don't like to talk about stuff, even with their girlfriends. That's not unusual. It's frustrating, but not unusual. And lastly, Ethan wouldn't tell you to leave just to hurt you. From the way you talk about him, it sounds like he really cares about you. And I know you care about him."

"I do, but I still don't want to date him."

"You don't mean that."

"Yeah. I do."

"Becca, didn't you hear anything I just said?"

"Yes. And I get that guys don't like to talk. Getting Mike to talk is nearly impossible. But whatever is bothering Ethan is affecting our relationship, so he needs to at least give me a clue as to what's going on." I shake my head. "Scratch that. It's over. There IS no relationship. I'm done with this. It was only supposed to be a summer fling, anyway."

"So you're giving up a great guy, a guy who cares about you, because you're too stubborn to forgive him?"

"I've forgiven him a million times!" I yell, then take a breath to calm down. "I'm tired of it. I'm tired of always having to back down when he does this stuff. It's not like it helps anything. I forgive him and then he does it again."

She rests her hand on my shoulder. "You sure this is what you want?"

I nod, but honestly, it's not what I want. My heart is breaking knowing it's over. Knowing I won't see Ethan again. But it's for the best. We can't go on this way. I won't be treated like this.

"I think you should give him another chance," she says.

"I've already given him enough chances. I can't keep doing this."

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