Page 55 of Holding On

But I wasn't happy. Correction. My dick was happy but the rest of me wasn't. Because none of it was real. We were both playing a game, pretending we liked each other when in reality we were just using each other.

But this thing with Becca and me? It's real. I can feel it. I can see it in her smile. She's actually happy to see me, not just faking it to get what she wants. The attraction we have to each other is more than physical. And then there's the fact that she's genuinely interested in me and what I have to say and who I am. I've never dated someone like that and I'm almost afraid to. I'm afraid of what will happen if it doesn't work out. Afraid of how I'll feel. Up until now, I've kept people at a distance. Getting too close to someone makes me uncomfortable.

"Hey." I grab her hands and pull her down to me and kiss her. When I open my eyes, I can see right down her dress. She's wearing a light blue bra with lace at the edges and a tiny bow in the middle. It's both sweet and sexy, just like her, although right now, all I can think about is her sexy side. I'm drawn back to my fantasies of her in this dress, and before I can stop myself, my hand rises up to the V-shaped neckline. I run my finger along the edge, then beneath the fabric, feeling her soft, smooth skin.

I slowly undo the top button. She lets out a breath and I capture her lips with my mouth as I undo another button. I slip my hand under the fabric and cup her breast, my thumb circling over her nipple.

She tenses up for just a moment, then relaxes into my touch as I continue to kiss her.

I'm so freaking hard, wanting to relieve the tension but having no idea if I can. I don't think she'll let me and it's probably for the best. I don't want to rush this. I don't want to risk messing it up and having it end before it's barely even started.

"Ethan," she whispers, breaking from my lips. "We should stop."

I swallow. "Yeah."

She kisses me once more, then slowly stands up.

"Just so you know," I say, "I don't usually greet people that way."

She laughs. "I would hope not."

"But if you like my greeting, I'd be happy to greet you that way again."

"I think I'd like that. Except when I'm working here. That might be weird." She sits beside me, buttoning up her dress. "Is it weird that I work for you?"

"You work for my mom, not me. I didn't hire you and I don't pay the bills."

"I know, but still, is it weird?"

"I'm not sure. You've only cleaned here one time, and last week we weren't together like this so it's hard to say. Why? Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No. I mean, it doesn't right now but I guess I need more time to figure that out. We'll see how Thursday goes."

"Tell you what. If at any time, either one of us thinks it's weird or uncomfortable, I'll just call the cleaning service and have them send someone else out."

"That might get me in trouble. They'd want to know why you didn't want me anymore."

I smile at her. "I'd tell them it's because I want your time to be spent with me, not cleaning my house."

"Which they wouldn't like. We're not supposed to fraternize with the homeowner."

"I'm a renter, not an owner. And our fraternizing is none of their business." I lean over and kiss her.

"Yes, but if I'm not cleaning here, I have to clean somewhere else. I don't get paid unless I work, and I really need the money."

"Then you'll keep working here and we'll keep it a secret that you're fraternizing with the homeowner slash renter. Does that work?"

"Yes." She kisses me and we end up back where we started when she got here, with my hand down the front of her dress. I want to keep going, but I keep it above her waist, trying to take things slow, which is nearly impossible with a girl this hot.

"We have to stop," she says, sitting back and catching her breath. "I have to leave for work soon."

I check the clock. Shit, we've been making out for almost thirty minutes. Fastest thirty minutes of my life.

"Can I use your bathroom? I need to change."

"Go ahead."

She takes her backpack into my bathroom and a few minutes later, she reappears, this time wearing her Chicken Shack uniform. Just as she described, it's red and white plaid, but it's a lot shorter than I imagined, ending several inches above her knee. And it's low cut, the neckline dipping into her cleavage. And it's tight.

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