Page 175 of Holding On

Chapter Thirty

Becca

"I can't believe you're moving in with that guy," Mike says as I'm packing my stuff.

I stop and turn to him. "You told me to!"

"I know." He laughs. "I'm just giving you shit."

Last week I made the decision to move in with Ethan. For years I told myself I wouldn't move in with a guy until we'd dated for at least six months, but with Ethan, I didn't see the need to wait. I love him and I'm at his place so much it's like we already live together.

"So what do you and Ethan talk about?" I ask.

"I'm not telling you," Mike says. "That's between Ethan and me."

"But if he ever told you something I need to know, you'd tell me, right?"

"What would you need to know?"

"I don't know...like if he was planning something."

"Like what?"

I don't want to say it. It'll freak Mike out and then he'll lecture me about how I shouldn't even be thinking about that yet. But I'm only thinking about it because Ethan brought it up.

"Like if he ever...I mean, not that he would but...if he was ever considering proposing, you'd tell me right?"

"Ethan wants to marry you?" he asks, surprise in his voice.

"Why did you say it like that? Are you implying it'd never happen?"

"It's possible, but you're totally against the idea so I don't know why he'd even try. It's an uphill battle."

"I'm not completely against it. I would maybe consider it, way off in the future."

"Oh, really?" He cocks his head, smiling. "And what changed your mind?"

"I didn't say I changed my mind. I said I was maybe open to the possibility, but that's not the point. The point is, if he ever mentions it to you, you need to tell me."

"That would ruin the surprise."

"I don't want to be surprised. I want to be prepared, and able to stop him from something I don't want, like some big, showy, elaborate proposal."

"That's definitely Ethan's style. The bigger, the better. If he ever proposes, he'll probably do it at a game. A televised game. In front of millions of people. And it'll be recorded so people will be watching it over and over for years to come."

I stare at him. "You're mean."

He laughs. "I can't wait. This is gonna be awesome."

Actually, I think it would be awesome. Not the proposal part, but being married to Ethan. I'm just too afraid to actually do it. But maybe, years from now, I could get past my fears.

"You think you'll get married someday?" I ask Mike.

A few months ago, I'd never ask him that question. He was still too upset over his broken engagement to Tricia. But he's over that now. And I think he's finally over HER. She still calls him now and then but he hasn't called her back.

Mike's still dating Heather. That's another reason I'm moving out. Mike and Heather are always hanging out here and I feel like a third wheel. Plus, with me gone, Mike can use my bedroom as an office. His podcast has really taken off and he's starting to make money with ads. That, combined with his military checks, gives him enough money to pay the rent on his own, along with his other expenses. His podcast has also been getting him some speaking gigs. They don't pay much but they might in the future if his podcast continues to get more popular.

"I'll definitely get married someday," he says. "I want a wife, kids, the whole thing. You know that."

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