Page 93 of Still Love You

"Willow, what are you saying?"

"I'm asking you what to do. I love this guy so much that it hurts to be away from him for even a day, so how do I go day after day for the rest of my life without him?"

"You don't." I hold her hand. "You let him back into your life and you never let him go."

"But I want him to be happy. I want us both to."

"Then you talk about it and find a solution that works for both of you."

"What if we can't?"

"If you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to make it happen."

"It's not that simple."

"It IS that simple, once you decide what you really want and what's important to you. Is this guy really that important to you?"

She nods. "Yes. When I made that plan for my future, there was always something missing. I knew it was him. I just didn't want to admit it because I didn't think I could have him. I thought I'd lost him."

"You haven't lost him." I lean in and kiss her. "He's right here."

She hugs me. "I love you, Silas. I love you so much."

I hug her back, squeezing her tight. "I love you too."

Is this really happening? Or am I dreaming this? It's the middle of the night so it could be a dream, but it feels real. Did she really just say all that? The words I've been waiting to hear for two years?

"I want us to get back together," she says.

"I do too."

"And you won't date anyone else?"

I pull back. "Is that why you're doing this? Just so I won't go out with someone else?"

"No. I want us to get back together because I love you and miss you. And because I want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you and call you my boyfriend. Seeing you do those things with someone else hurts too much."

"I don't want to do those things with anyone else. Just you."

"But you have a date on Monday."

"It's not a date. It's a business meeting. I'm meeting with Anya to talk about having her design a new website for my mom's jewelry. My mom's been looking for a web designer and Anya showed me some of the websites she's built and they were really good, so we're meeting to discuss pricing and timing and then she's going to do a prototype."

"Oh. When I saw you with her I thought—"

"Yeah, I might've let you think that but I shouldn't have. Sorry. I should've explained."

"You didn't have to. You didn't owe me an explanation. I'd made it clear we weren't dating."

"So what changed your mind?"

"That talk we had before the party. I didn't want to hear you say all that, but I needed to hear it. That's one of the things I love most about you. You're always honest with me, even when you know I don't want to hear whatever it is you're going to say."

And now I'm lying to her. I've never lied to her until this issue with the farm. I promised her parents I'd keep quiet, but I hate it. I understand that they don't want Willow to worry, but it feels wrong not to tell her what's going on. 

"You were right, Silas. It wasn't fair of me to tell other girls you're my boyfriend just to keep them away from you, and then tell you we're just friends. That was just me wanting to be with you but not wanting to commit to you. I was afraid to make that decision."

"Why?"

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