Page 61 of Still Love You

She nods and picks out two yellow beads and sets them next to her. "He still has the ring he made you."

She's talking about my engagement ring. I gave it back to him when we broke up.

"I loved that ring," I say softly to myself, picturing it in my head. He used his mom's equipment to make a setting for the stone. Instead of a diamond, he took a stone we found on the beach and shaped it into an oval and polished it. That ring was so beautiful that I cried when I saw it and couldn't stop. And the fact that he made it himself made me cry even more. It was a million times better than any diamond ring he could've bought from a store.

After we broke up, Silas insisted I keep the ring, but I wouldn't do it. Keeping it would make me remember, and as Diane said, I'm a forgetter. Remembering is too hard, too hurtful, too sad.

"He wore it on a chain around his neck the whole time he was away."

"Because he's a rememberer," I say under my breath, but Diane heard me.

"Yes. And it reminded him of you."

"Diane, why are you telling me this?"

She holds a bead in her hand and looks up at me. "Sometimes it's good to remember. Forgetting is often easier in the short term, but in the long term it can lead to regrets. And a life of regrets is worse than the heartache of remembering."

I'm not sure if I should ask this, but I've always talked openly with Diane and I know she'll give me an honest answer. "Diane?"

"Yes, dear." Her head is down as she goes back to picking out beads.

"Do you want Silas and I to get back together?"

"That's not for me to decide."

"But do you want that? Do you want that for Silas?"

"I want him to find love, and he's found that with you. But if you don't reciprocate the feelings, then no. He's put his heart out there and I'm proud of him for that but I don't want to see him get hurt again. Well, I know he'll get hurt again. That's part of life. But it hurts even more when it's your first love. I don't want to see him go through that again."

I thought for sure she wanted us back together. But now I'm thinking she doesn't. That she doesn't trust me with his heart. And the truth is, I'm not sure I do either.

"I'm not blaming you, Willow. What happened between you and Silas isn't anyone's fault. You were both so young. You still are. You're both still trying to figure out who you are and what you want out of life. There's nothing wrong with that. But having already been through this, I just hope you both have learned from it and don't end up repeating the past." Her cell phone rings and she has to search under her boxes of beads to find it. "Hello?...Hi, honey...She's here right now...Yes, I'll tell her...Bye." She sets her phone down.

"Was that Silas?"

"Yes. He said he tried to reach you but your phone was off."

I check it. "The battery's dead."

"He just wanted you to know he's staying at work until six tonight. He mentioned something about a haircut?"

"Yeah, he wants to get his hair cut and I'm going with him." I glance at her phone. "Was that a photo of Silas on your phone?"

"Yes. It's a picture of him with some of the kids he met when he was building a school in the Philippines." She hands me the phone. The photo shows Silas crouching down with kids all around him. They look like kindergarteners and they're all trying to hug him at once. "That's a cute photo."

"You can look at the other ones. He sent me pictures from all the different places he went."

I go to the photos and swipe through them. There are several pictures of people hugging Silas, not just kids, but also adults, like they're grateful for all he's done to make their lives better. Like he's a hero. Because he is. Silas is a hero to those people. He took time out of his life to help them and he didn't even get paid.

Looking through these photos makes me see Silas in a whole new way. I always knew he was generous and selfless. He was always that way with me and with his friends. But seeing him be that way with total strangers halfway across the world is amazing. And inspiring. It makes me feel like I should be doing more to help others. I've spent the whole last year focused on me and what I want to accomplish. I guess that's what most people do, but Silas took a different path. A more difficult path. He spent two years helping strangers instead of worrying about himself. I have so much respect for him. And I'm so proud of him.

"Willow, can you hand me those wire cutters?" Diane is pointing next to my feet.

"Yeah. Here." I get up and bring them to her, along with her phone. "I should go. It was nice talking to you."

"You too. If I don't see you later, have fun tonight."

I leave and go back to my house. When I get there, there's a car I don't recognize in the driveway.

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