Page 129 of Still Love You

"How long's it been since you've seen him?"

"I was there last week, so it hasn't been that long but I still miss him. It's hard not seeing him every day."

I'm happy for Lilly and Reed, but also jealous of their relationship. Why is it so much easier for them than for Silas and me? Am I making this too complicated? Should I just be with Silas and not worry about the future? I wish I could, but my stupid mind won't let me.

"So how's Silas?" Lilly asks. "You guys looked so cute in that photo you sent. You make a great couple."

 My emotions hit me like a freight train and I break down crying. "I broke up with Silas last night."

"Willow!" she says in a scolding tone. "Why did you break up with him?"

"It's a long story. And to make matters even worse, I won't be going back to Camsburg in the fall." I sniffle and grab a tissue from my nightstand.

"Wait, what? Hold on. Go back and start from the beginning."

I tell her everything, from my parents' financial problems to my break-up with Silas. I'm crying so much it takes almost an hour to get it all out.

"You're really not coming back?" she asks.

"I can't. My parents need the money."

"Maybe...I mean, my dad could maybe—"

"No. I'd never ask your family for money. It wouldn't feel right and it would mess up our friendship."

"I'm sorry, Willow. I wish I could do something to help. Maybe my dad could give your parents some business advice. Or would that offend them? I only offered because you said they're not very good with business stuff."

"I don't know. I'd have to ask them."

"I still don't understand why you broke up with Silas. If you're staying there in the fall, then you guys could keep dating."

"That'll just make us closer."

"Yeah? So what's wrong with that?"

"I don't want to stay here forever. I may have to finish college here, but then I want to leave. Move away. Start my career. I still want to run a company someday."

"And what does Silas want to do?"

"He's thinking of going into graphic design, but that could change. I told you, he's a free spirit. He takes one day at a time."

"Maybe you should do the same."

"Lilly, you know I can't do that. I'm not like that. It's not my personality."

"People can change. You can be however you want. The old Willow had to plan everything out, but maybe the new one doesn't. This is like a fresh start. You can do anything you want now, including being with Silas."

I smile. "Okay, you're stressing me out with all these options."

She laughs. "Options are good. That's why they have that saying to keep your options open."

"Hey, are you coming up here this summer?"

"I'm not sure. My dad might be giving a speech in San Francisco, and if he does, I told him I'm going with him. He can drop me off in Berkeley."

"I hope you can make it. I miss seeing you."

Lilly is my closest friend at Camsburg. She's what I'll miss most about it. She listened to me talk about Silas for most of last year. I didn't think I talked about him that much, but a few weeks ago she told me I talked about him constantly. I didn't even realize I was doing it. It just shows what a big part of my life he is, even when he's not around.

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